When I was younger, I would look at peoples' eyes. Some people had really freaky eyes that made them look "dead," like there was no bit of life or consciousness behind them. As though they were zombies that could walk, talk, answer questions, etc.

I realized that I really only saw this in mormons. Not all of them, but quite a few. It really freaked me out, and I hated going to church. It was like being in the book Coraline.

Anyone else have similar experiences?

...one of the last times I went to church on my own (as opposed to going for some family reason). They weren't quite zombies, but they sure weren't full of life and joy. It was like Monday morning at a really crappy job.

It was like they weren't there in that room at that time. They were off in their minds doing what they would rather be doing. Happy are we.

As an active mormon,how many times would you be walking in the halls to get to your next "assignment" and everyone you passed looked right passed you? Even bishops,actually,especially bishops. That bothered me so much as I am an overly friendly person. I was usually teaching primary and I would love to go up to the parents and tell them something endearing their child had done or said. I can count on one hand the number of times said parent would actually look at me and respond. 99% of the time I would walk away,shaking my head and thinking.."that went over well". But I kept doing it year after year. Never got any better and I would go home thinking wtf? Why am I wasting all my time for these ungrateful parents!!

He loves making movies in Utah because the extras he hires here make the best corpses. They can lie motionless for hours.

He doesn't know they get 3 hours of practice each week.

hehehe

...it was Stephen King.

He was in SLC shooting "The Stand" for ABC, and he made that comment about Utahns.

Corpses do what they're told, can lie motionless for hours and have no souls. He pegged it.

Now I know that she was just looking for something she expected to see.

I believe happiness shows up in our eyes and it's clear to me that I'm much happier outside of the church.

I used to see halos around people's heads during sacrament meeting.. not everyone but some people.. I thought it meant that these people must be REALLY righteous

They sound flat like slightly muffled. watery like something isnt complete about them. Yeah I get what you mean but we all see it in diffrent ways.

Heaven's Gate cult--that is what some of them look like. I noticed that after I had left the church and then saw a special on A&E about Heaven's Gate. Eerily similar to the look some mormons have.

We had a family in our ward who had too many children they couldn't afford. I think the mother was mentally absent and the father a control freak. We used to call them "the children of the glass-eyed stare'

You mean like this?

From the movie Jaws:

Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces.

Back in the '70's we used to notice the same thing about the Moonies.

It's not about Mormons, it's about cults--and who is more invested. I sometimes see the same look in the eyes of people whose life revolves around work to the point that they have no private/home life.

There is the dead look, and there is the glazed-over fake-happy "enthused" look. Like when they say, "Isn't this just greaaaaayt!" Like a Stepford Wife.

My daughter used to have a recurring nightmare, that the Mormon neighbors were all Zombies, and they were chasing her down the street. She would run into our house, and they all would bang on our door and peer in the windows.

My daughter can imitate their expression. It is hilarious!

Also, Utah Mormons don't smile like people out-of-state. The corners of their mouth actually go down, instead of up. My daughter imitates that, too. It is like a grimiace, and their nose crinkles, and they jut out their chin. During the smile or the fake-laugh, the eyes remain dead.

Have you ever heard a Mormon laugh? Only one "uhh" and not even a "ha." As we know, loud laughter is forbidden.

At first I thought these were just social group affectations, like their style of dressing, or the Mormon vocabulary. (When I found out what 'DH' and 'DW' stood for, I laughed!) Now, I realize that a lot of Mormons are seriously depressed. Sad.

"...like Monday morning at a really crappy job." Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Good observation! Yes!

I knew I liked you for a very good reason, maria.

I always thought no-one else ever saw what I saw.

:D

Good to know you're not crazy, right? When I told my parents about it, all they could do was look at me funny.

Their lives are pretty dead with the church to live for and not much else...

Yes, yes, yes. I noticed this quite a lot.

Many Mormons do seem extremely disconnected. Some of them might argue that its because they are "zoning out to feel the spirit". But I don't think one should have to zone out to feel the spirit. Heck, when I feel the spirit, I feel more alive! More open-eyed, more full of energy. I have better inspriation, and ideas.

If you have to shut your personality down to feel it, then you don't have as good a connection to it as you think...

I rememebr sitting in church and looking around at everyone. Some kids would be coloring and playing. Some younger adults would be looking around checking everyone else out. But most of the married couples and older people would all be sititng there like one of those crash dummies, and just starring forward, with a blank expression. And when you would talk to them out in the hall, it was like talking to a Stepford Wife, lol.

Gives me the creeps.

They have to shut themselves off to be part of it. They're told they can't:

-- Listen to certain kinds of music
-- Stay out late
-- Go to clubs
-- Watch Cable TV
-- Hang out with non-members
-- Participate in non-church activities
-- Wear clothes that show their garments
-- Act up on Sunday
-- Drink alcohol (even though Jesus turned the water into wine!)
-- Have sex outside marriage
-- Masturbate
-- Even THINK about the above things, because its as bad as doing them.

And told that they SHOULD:

--Do all the above things until you are considered worthy to go to the temple.
--Get married and make more baby members as soon as possible.
--Give up 2 year of your prime youth years to serve a mission.
--Take as many callings as the church decides to pile on top of you.

Um.... Yeah. No wonder they are disconnected and zoned out, lol.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/12/2010 01:39AM by melissa3839.

When I was younger, I used to not care about anything at all that went on around me. I was too busy trying to be perfect. I was also too busy focusing on the past and future and had no time for the present. That's what the scriptures do to people. It helped me out to read some things about self-actualization. The point of it is to fully live in the present and make the absolute best of life. If I was like that when I was younger, I'm sure that many other Mormons are like that. It makes sense to me.

I've noticed that as well even outside of Utah, the blank looks on many people. It's true that it's like "Monday morning at a really crappy job" as there are people who show up on Sunday only because they have a "calling" and it's difficult to get "released." It could be a reason why the rate of depression is so high, especially seasonal depression, as Mormons are stuck in church when spending time outside in the winter months would improve things.

I just started a new job, and one of my coworkers and me got to talking about religion, and she talked about how one of her clients is "hardcore" Muslim and she has to watch what she talks about to this client.

I mentioned I could relate, having Mormon relatives. I know there are only certain topics I can discuss with the TBMs.

Her response was: "I know someone who is a Mormon bishop here in town. God, is he ever boring!"

That says it all, to me. Most TBMs are kind of lifeless and boring because they have so many scripted messages they're taught, that they don't have the freedom to be real individuals in every sense of the word, so they come across as flat, lifeless etc.

I was on a Delta flight that had stopped first in Las Vegas (LAX-LAS-SLC). When the plane took off again, I noticed what I called a "Stepford Wives" look in the eyes of everyone who appeared to be Mormon. I tried making conversation with my seatmate (I was young and naive then) and basically he just stared into space, like he was hypnotized.

When I was a guest at the science fiction symposium at BYU in (I think) 1993, the head of the symposium invited me to her "Bible as literature class" (they were studying the Jewish Bible). Well, since we were close to the holiday of Purim, and the instructor knew I was Jewish, he asked me to describe a typical Purim celebration. When I got to the part that were are supposed to get so "shnockered so that we can't tell the difference between blessed be evil and cursed be good," the only people who even cracked a smile were the person who invited me to the class, the instructor, and me. Everyone else had this blank stare into space. I wasn't sure what to think.

I thought it was a look of judgement as I was speaking to them. A delay as if they were considering every word I said and considering what they could or could not say in response.

It was from slogging along in a state of abysmal depression.

I always saw mormons as fake, lifeless, and very flat. They were so flat that I started watching them at church and seeing them as life sized cardboard puppets smiling and going through the motions of deperately keeping up appearances on not letting failing programs fall into ruin.

I was barely into adulthood when I left and the depression started to lift immediately like sunshine burning off cold dreary nighttime fog.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/12/2010 12:15PM by Cheryl.

I thought I am the only exmormon to see those 'dead eyes'.

I have been from mormon clutches for several years, that enabled me to notice the dead eyes - whenever I chance to see my former ward members.

And they all talk slowly and meekly. This is the result of years of heavy physical and mental indoctrinations.

And when they showed the casting on TV, the stars kept commenting on how happy everyone seemed. My mom kept pointing this out as an example of how much better off people are who follow the gospel until I finally got fed up and said "Mom! Those TV people weren't saying it as a compliment. They were saying it because it was false and freaky and they thought Mormons were weird."

She hasn't mentioned it since.

And I agree with what Cheryl said about the depression. My low-grade depression lasted from the first time I went through the temple until the time I got brave enough to chuck the garments. Taking them off was a real, physical sign that I didn't believe...even if I still attended sometimes with DH. My depression lifted immediately. It is impossible not to connect the two. Very Mormon = depression for me. I get a physical reaction at the thought of putting garments on again. I flinch as if I'm about to get hit, start feeling queasy and then feel that depression creeping in again. I couldn't be a "Temple Mormon" again because I literally dread the idea of putting on garments and being involved in Mormonism at that level.

When I first moved here I was talking to a young married couple and was struck by how scared and frightened the wife looked.. like she was cowering even though she was taller and bigger than her slightly built husband. The husband had those dead eyes. I was so creeped out that I literally shifted my weight back and forth to see if he could focus on me or if he was staring straight into an abyss.

My first thought was, "wife beater". My second was "serial killer". It never occurred to me that depression might be a part of it.

The stepford wife look is different to me, though even more prevalent. That makes me think "xanax" and definitely makes me feel sorry for their depression.

I knew where this thread was going before I opened it. I actually talked to a guy at work about this a few years ago and we joked about the uptight mormons having "lifeless eyes", "like a doll's eyes" from the movie "Jaws".

Its the look of people that have given up anything of an authentic life. They are a shell of a person.

ditto re: "shell of a person". What freaks me out is in descriptions of violent aggressors, victims sometimes describe their attackers as having these dead eyes too... no feeling, no empathy, no compassion... like living zombies.

pretty interesting for a religion that supposedly bases everything on feelings, isn't it? You'd think an organization that embraced and encouraged feelings would be full of hugs and people who really listened.