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Posted by: AmIDarkNow? ( )
Date: September 22, 2010 09:03PM

“The Kolob Theorem”

http://hickmanmuseum.homestead.com/the_kolob_theorem.pdf


The very latest in Scientific discovery folks! That’s right! The very latest theory using the latest scientific processes. Its sacred not secret but I’ll tell you anyway, (his mommy told him bout it)

Don’t believe me? Check it out via the free E-book at the above link. Also sold on Amazon. (Check the reviews).

UN_FRIGGIN BELEIVABLE! In this day and age that someone with a PHD would publish such a thing.

Just goes to show ya that education can’t cure lunacy.

For gods sake, just look at his references! This guy is stuck in a space time warp or something. Now check when the damn book was published! Lord have mercy! Science got shamed in this little book.

Oh and Science my ass! This would have died the second his premise was proven false as the BOA is a fake but he has never had internet access or done any real research beyond his feelings and his ancient bookshelf. Anything else after his false premise is the same as “Middle Earth Theorems”.

Check out the “about the author” at the end. Wouldn’t you know it! He was the discoverer of the Lehi Trail in Arabia! Come on now how authoritative does it need to get! Run out and get your telescope now so that you too can see where God lives! The church is twoo the church is twoo!

Here is a man that definitely took to heart to only read the scriptures his whole life (except for that astronomy book his mommy gave him in 1956)

Check out the bibliography. Please, Please, check out the bibliography. You will not be disappointed!
Just for a tease he included something special….wait for it…….wait for it…….Eliza R. Snow, LDS Hymns, 1891! How can you control yourself after that!

God help me, I’ve got to go find a stick to sharpen and stab myself with to try to forget I ever saw this.

Only in America huh folks.

And this is what my wife uses to “believe”. No wonder I’m getting divorced. The delusion runs deep.

The “kolob theorem” good effing grief.

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Posted by: julia ( )
Date: September 22, 2010 09:47PM

Not to make light of your plight, but I couldn't help notice the advertising for the book on page 4 of the pdf. Leave it to a MORmON...

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Posted by: sisterexmo ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 12:16PM

Don't forget the sequel - "My Burning Bosom"

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Posted by: Having Been Born of Fictious Parents . . . ( )
Date: September 22, 2010 10:15PM

Haha. "My Burning Bush!" Awesome

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Posted by: David ( )
Date: September 22, 2010 10:22PM

Well, hes PhD was in educational administration. It's very common for PhD's to throw those initials around in circles they know nothing about (in Lynn's case it's science and sanity). It's a similar situation with HEAL Utah, the guy who writes all their stuff has a PhD in English but spends his time writing briefs on geology.

Either way it seems like another TBM fodder argument waiting to happen.

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Posted by: Skunk Puppet ( )
Date: September 22, 2010 10:25PM

Time cube.

http://www.timecube.com/

I think they went to the same school.

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Posted by: Anonymous User ( )
Date: September 22, 2010 10:35PM

but that guy is really, really, really nuts.

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Posted by: wine country girl ( )
Date: September 22, 2010 10:45PM

and in my experience, you are indeed correct. The person is mentally ill. Nuts. Nuts that we spend money on useless @#$%& and war, but not on our own people. Don't the governments know how prescious we are? We are individuals. There are two of us exactly alike. How can they ignore their humanity?

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Posted by: Carrots Tomatoes and Radishes ( )
Date: January 17, 2013 02:45PM

It should say edit in that little bar at the bottom of your post where it says "Reply . Quote . Follow Topic . Report"

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Posted by: The exmo formerly known as Br. Vreeland ( )
Date: September 22, 2010 10:40PM


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Posted by: Skunk Puppet ( )
Date: September 22, 2010 11:58PM


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Posted by: Skunk Puppet ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 12:02AM

On Page 49:

"CONCLUSION
When we observe an external galaxy we see it can be divided into three areas, each glowing with a different color of light. The Kolob Theorem identifies the center bulge of every galaxy as the location of a celestial kingdom, with outer rings successively as terrestrial and telestial kingdoms. Lanes of dust or veils we see in many galaxies may mark the boundaries between these kingdoms of glory."

I am speechless at the level of ignorance. I think the TimeCube guy might actually be smarter ....

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Posted by: Atheist Supremo ( )
Date: January 17, 2013 02:33PM

This nonsense shows how the best educated Mormons can have a very limited view of reality.

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Posted by: Primus ( )
Date: September 22, 2010 10:30PM

Is that PDF the entire book. It might be a fun and 'enlightening' read.

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Posted by: Primus ( )
Date: September 22, 2010 10:39PM

from the Big Bang, etc.? So many holes.

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Posted by: hello ( )
Date: September 22, 2010 11:11PM

theorem? PhD?

This guy must have a PhD in education or sumpin.

He doesn't even know what a theorem is...

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Posted by: Fetal Deity ( )
Date: September 22, 2010 11:42PM

One of the recurring references in this book is:

Joseph Smith, "Egyptian Alphabet and Grammar," Utah Lighthouse Book Store.

So in order to "prove" his uniquely Mormon theorem, the author had to resort to "anti-Mormon" sources! That is precious!

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Posted by: Johnny Rotten ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 12:13AM

The dumb ass has a Phd. in Education. What does he know about astro-physics and science. He is a crazy man at the end of his life. Nuts... most Mormons won't even acknowledge the existence of Kolob.

I printed this off... a huge waste of good paper and printer ink... and read this several years ago. It's terrible!

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Posted by: Makurosu ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 12:18AM

"Doo doo dee doo... whoa, what's this?" lol

I laughed so hard when I started reading the PDF that I nearly injured myself. The advertisement for "My Burning Bush" had me in hysterics.

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 12:37AM

in the ward we used to attend hold a PhD in a science that is WAAAAY over my head, like astrophysics or something. He is brilliant, well-read, very thoughtful in conversation, and actually, a very likable guy.

I have never understood how somebody as intelligent as this guy obviously is can be so goofy about Mormonism.

Somebody posted some time ago that the brighter and better-educated somebody is, the harder they have to mentally tap-dance to get past the cog-dis. That makes sense to me.

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Posted by: goldenrule ( )
Date: May 29, 2011 07:30AM

Or they don't. They know it's a bunch of BS but enjoy the perks/status of being say, a stake patriarch.

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Posted by: Stormy ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 12:39AM

Save your sharp stick, I'll need it next. That was totally so unbelievable I didn't know whether to laugh or cry...I know high school students who write better than he does and also know more astronomy...

How can he see all this with his head stuck in the sand?

stormy

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Posted by: enojado ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 12:54AM

Ugh, my father-in-law has this shitty book.

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Posted by: foolserrand2 ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 01:41AM

Maybe the Time Cube guy has a burning bush?

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Posted by: Rebeckah ( )
Date: May 29, 2011 10:35AM

KoBOL which is in no way related to KoLOB even though they have the exact same letters. So there.

hahahahaha!!

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Posted by: Skunk Puppet ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 12:05PM

actually go to the center of a galaxy. I would love to see the look on their faces when they find that instead of a glorious celestial kingdom at the heart of the galaxy, they encounter the hungry maw of a super massive black hole as they step over the boundaries of the event horizon and get spaghetti-fied. Surprise!

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Posted by: WickedTwin ( )
Date: May 29, 2011 04:01AM

Kolob Theorem and Time Cube are way too awesome. This had to be topped.

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Posted by: RPackham ( )
Date: May 29, 2011 10:24AM

"People In Space" by John Heinerman, Ph.D. 1990, ISBN 0945946082, 138 pp

My review: http://packham.n4m.org/moonmen.htm

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Posted by: mindlight ( )
Date: January 17, 2013 02:38PM

and some call me crazy!

rofl

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Posted by: Gazelam ( )
Date: January 17, 2013 02:41PM

I went to the homepage to try and find the document.

Found this little gem...

"If you're a Hickman, you should be proud,
as I am proud!" --name withheld by request.

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Posted by: Outcast ( )
Date: January 17, 2013 02:42PM

PhD in pulling crazy shi# outta my a$$..

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