Mormon trolls justify sneaking on to the RfM board under false pretenses in order to do the will of their God, using their super hero action figure Nephi as their role model.

Let us follow the Book of Mormon storyline on this, so that we may understand Troll Tactics 101:

1 Ne 4:19 "And after I [Nephi] had smitten off his [Laban's] head with his own sword, I took the garments of Laban and put them upon mine own body; yea, even every whit; and I did gird on his armor about my loins."

Mormon trolls don this fake outer costume in order to gain unsuspected entry into RfM, with the hopes of raiding the place and carrying away ex-Mormons to LDS salvation:

1 Ne 4:20 "And after I had done this, I went forth unto the treasury of Laban. And as I went forth towards the treasury of Laban, behold, I saw the servant of Laban who had the keys of the treasury. And I commanded him in the voice of Laban, that he should go with me into the treasury."
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Mormon trolls deliberately engage in their misrepresentations in an attempt to deceive their ex-Mormon enemies:

1 Ne 4:21 "And he supposed me to be his master, Laban, for he beheld the garments and also the sword girded about my loins."
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Mormon trolls, in this premeditated plan among true believers, pretend to speak the language of ex-Mormons, with the intent of tricking them into thinking that the trolls are one with the ex-Mormons:

1 Ne 4:22-24 "And he spake unto me concerning the elders of the Jews, he knowing that his master, Laban, had been out by night among them.

"And I spake unto him as if it had been Laban.

"And I also spake unto him that I should carry the engravings, which were upon the plates of brass, to my elder brethren, who were without the walls."
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Mormon trolls conspire in efforts to get ex-Mormons to follow them, hoping that the ex-Mormons will be persuaded to believe that the trolls are ex-Mo sympathetic--all the while, of course, continuing their deceptive and trollish ways:

1 Ne 4:25-27 "And I also bade him that he should follow me.

"And he, supposing that I spake of the brethren of the church, and that I was truly that Laban whom I had slain, wherefore he did follow me."

"And he spake unto me many times concerning the elders of the Jews, as I went forth unto my brethren, who were without the walls."
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Mormon trolls reassure their fellow Mormons who are observing this carefully-crafted charade that it is all an act (under God's command, of course), and not to worry about their true identity or purpose:

1 Ne 4:28-29 "And it came to pass that when Laman saw me he was exceedingly frightened, and also Lemuel and Sam. And they fled from before my presence; for they supposed it was Laban, and that he had slain me and had sought to take away their lives also.

"And it came to pass that I called after them, and they did hear me; wherefore they did cease to flee from my presence."
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Once ex-Mormons realize that they are in the presence of Mormon trolls who are attempting to mislead, misrepresent and lie to them through their dishonest door approaches, the desperate Mormon trolls attempt to exert control over the ex-Mormons by threatening them with God's punishment-- including death--if they do not return to the LDS fold forthwith. (Some relatively new ex-Mormons are momentarily shaken by this strong-armed, heavy-handed approach):

1 Ne 4:30-33 "And it came to pass that when the servant of Laban beheld my brethren he began to tremble, and was about to flee from before me and return to the city of Jerusalem.

"And now I, Nephi, being a man large in stature, and also having received much strength of the Lord, therefore I did seize upon the servant of Laban, and held him, that he should not flee.

"And it came to pass that I spake with him, that if he would hearken unto my words, as the Lord liveth, and as I live, even so that if he would hearken unto our words, we would spare his life.

"And I spake unto him, even with an oath, that he need not fear; that he should be a free man like unto us if he would go down in the wilderness with us.

"And I also spake unto him, saying: Surely the Lord hath commanded us to do this thing; and shall we not be diligent in keeping the commandments of the Lord? Therefore, if thou wilt go down into the wilderness to my father thou shalt have place with us."
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At this point, however, ex-Mormons diverge from the prepared text of the RfM-invading Mormon trolls.

They call out Nephi and his band of fellow two-faced trolling liars, kick them in their collective posteriors and head into town for drinks.

In the name of nailing Nephi and his faithful flock of little lying lambs.

Amen.



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 09/01/2011 05:32AM by steve benson.

Nice analogy, Steve. I've always found it troubling that Nephi lies, cheats and kills to gain access to the plates. I wonder if Joe Smith was trying to justify some of his own actions regarding the plates.

+1, Don - I wondered the same thing. That story was wrong from the start - I hated hearing it over and over. Nice analogy, Steve.

Nephi was a real piece of work. God couldn't have given the slug a photocopier? Or at least a backup copy of the plates?

And killing somebody lying on the ground unconscious is a crime even in war. That's beyond the pale.

Post certainly shows you have read and are qaualified to decapitate mormons with their own words....they don't know it yet, but their doctrine is their worst enemy.

Lying for the lord is probably the oldest trick, learnt from ole Joe hisself. It was the foundation of his polygamy power play--"But Emma, an angel made me do it!"

It's easy to complain against the devil made me do it, but if the lord commands it, you can't as easily complain. There's been murder, human sacrifice and other individual atrocities committed by god's command. Trolling is a tiny offense in comparison.

As Stray Mutt recently posted, In Mormonism, the "right thing" is whatever advances the purposes of Mormonism.

It is interesting how it is okay to "lie for the lord" but not to save your own posterior.

And the poor mormon troll does not have as much fun in the end when they are found out. All they can do is make up a good lie to tell their friends how they called exmormons to repentance. Us exmos, we can go and have a few drinks and a good laugh.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,285460,285460#msg-285460



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/08/2013 02:19AM by steve benson.

Nephi isn't a hero?

Yea and verily, expect more trolls. It will come to pass that internet missionaries have to occupy their time.

Oops, I missed that action. I do love a good food fight but the lunch lady seems to always shut them down. Some muttering about rules, this isn't Nam, etc.

I'd like to see a sticky thread where trolls can go to have their goofy arguments torn to shreds.

When I first came to RfM, I was often accused of being a troll. That's how brainfucked I was. No, just looking for answers. So it's possible that some of these trolls are just so brainfucked (God, I love that word) they don't know what they're doing.