I am a male in my 20's. I guess I'm here to just vent a little.

I've had a somewhat traumatic childhood, the church definitely played some role in that trauma. I'm a tough guy though, I've never moped around or used it as an excuse. I had to grow up quick as a child and I have managed to overcome great things and live a happy and productive life.

Its been coming out in the last 6 months though... I keep having relapses of traumatic emotions triggered by the small everyday things, anxiety attacks, extreme stress, and outbursts of anger (my poor girlfriend). I've had no idea whats been happening to me and I can't explain the feelings or experiences I've been having. I feel like I've turned into a monster and I have lost the ability to control my emotions.

Yesterday I was doing some research and I'm pretty sure I am suffering from PTSD. Unbalanced stress responses caused by emotional scarring that I was unable to deal with as a child and adolescent. Honestly I am embarrassed... embarrassed I have the same thing veterans who serve our country face, yet I have gone through so much less... embarrassed by the whole situation overall.

I just want to be better... I am going to look into seeing a therapist at the University of Utah.

Don't be embarrassed...I have suffered from PTSD for years from traumatic experiences in my childhood and adulthood.
It does come out when you least expect it- I read that when you feel safest, the nightmares and the anxiety are the worst because you're finally able to process the trauma without the repurcussions you suffered before.
Treatment will help you, especially with a kind and caring therapist.
Those memories will never go away, but you will feel better and stronger.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/06/2010 12:40PM by itzpapalotl.

genes to trigger PTSD and anxiety disorders.

I'm sure there are people who have suffered more than you who don't have it. It isn't productive to compare yourself to anyone else.

It may be that you suffered more than you want to admit even to yourself.

I'm glad you are going to get some counseling. This stuff can get worse over time if you try to ignore it. Good luck.

Real good professional help may make this less painful to go through.