Happy weekend to all!

I have been trolling the NOM and this board for a few years.

I stopped believing the church was run by God a while ago. No new revelation, more control exerted, etc. is what gave the first crack. Not to mention all the EVIDENCE against it....

However, I am married and this development in seeing this truth has happened during my marriage.

I still go to church and even have a calling. But, I hate paying tithing when that dumb mall is being built...

I cannot (and probably will not) ever seperate from the church. I do not see all bad things, but I like that I still maintain my freedom. But going to church and living the TBM lifestyle while knowing this is mostly false is a little funny. I just hate spending three hours in church and eventually paying tithing (I will start paying online soon).

It makes a huge difference.

What would happen if you shared your concerns with your wife?

Knowing something is mostly false is not a little funny....it is a whole lot SAD. And you will stay WHY? That simply makes no sense. Your spouse loves the church more than you? Sounds like a false life you're living. Glad you can come here for some sanity, but faking it for others who don't deserve it makes you less than honest.

I tried to hang on as a sunday school teacher and home teacher for a few months, but I couldn't stand it. I blush when I lie and just can't fake it. I finally wrote the bishop a note and resigned my callings (not the church, yet).

It's a dilemma.

You're supporting a fraud, but then so what?

I'm reading Daniel C. Dennett's (an athiest author) Breaking the Spell. He argues religion is a naturally evolving sociological and psychological phenomenon. He asks the question of whether breaking the spell could do more harm than good. In the end he decides the spell should be broken, but he admits there's a risk of giving up the "charm" of the spell.

I've seen on this board the whole range of tolerances, from you should fight against the fraud to you should pander to it. Dunno. I'm openly unbelieving, but DW still pays tithing. Tithing never bothered me before. But now, holy cow, how did I not realize that's 10% of my GROSS income? That's like 20% of my discretionary income. I don't give to OTHER charities- can't afford it. I'm not saving enough, not investing much, paying taxes, sure as heck no college fund for my kids, and yet month after month I make better than a car payment to the church. Then the church goes and builds multimillion dollar temples all over the world, fleets of cars for missionaries, houses for mission presidents, travel and stipends for general authorities, and maybe a little charity here and there (but they've made it clear that fast offerings are the church's charity fund and that we're not giving enough there).

Arrgh. It's almost time for me to stir the pot again. Line upon line.

I'm at the same spot Amos. I'm on the verge of coming out to the Bishop as an apostate -- dumping my callings and telling the EQP I don't want to be a HT anymore. I just can't live a lie. This is all utter BS. It's just not healthy for me to hang out and live a lie.