Posted by:
cakey
(
)
Date: August 28, 2011 12:51AM
I attended a friend's mother's funeral today. It was at an LDS church, the family is pretty TBM, except my friend, who's always been kinda jackmo. We've talked about leaving the church before. She was just too afraid of what it would do to her family if she did. I get that. I'm grateful, in a way, that I'm not too close to my TBM family for that specific reason.
Anyway, the funeral was full of plan of salvation and atonement and forever families testimonies. Then my friend got up and bore her's on her love for joseph smith, and I groaned inside. I can understand needing to believe that you'll see your loved ones again, especially at a time like this. But JS? At a funeral? Why?
My mom was sitting a few chairs away from me and kept looking at me with her weepy patronizing eyes, trying to make me feel like a jerk for believing that this life is all there is. And I kind of did. Not to mention, it was my home ward. First time i'd been there since I decided to leave the church a couple months ago. I had numerous "I'm praying for you"s, and old ladies sobbing and clinging to me, begging me to let my little children know jesus. Totally felt like crap afterwards.
Death is a very sensitive subject and people just tend to grab hold of whatever coping mechanisms they can find I guess. It's just like a drug. I'm glad I know that now, but wish everyone else did too.