You need to get yourself a trailer park full of women who all belong to you.

Come and hear words of wisdom from Heber C. Kimball, counselor and confidante of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young:

....“I would not be afraid to promise a man who is sixty years of age, if he will take the counsel of brother Brigham and his brethren, that he will renew his age. I have noticed that a man who has but one wife,and is inclined to that doctrine, soon begins to wither and dry up, while a man who goes into plurality looks fresh, young, and sprightly. Why is this? Because God loves that man, and because he honours His work and word. Some of you may not believe this; but I not only believe it—I also know it.

"For a man of God to be confined to one woman is small business; for it is as much as we can do now to keep up under the burdens we have to carry; and I do not know what we should do if we had only one wife apiece.”

Journal of Discourses, Vol. V, p. 22.

Unfreak'nbelievable!

I'm going to vomit.

That guy's a PIMP!



I mean... disgusting crotchety old geezer.

Heber was happily monogamous with his REAL wife, Vilate.

yeah, just ask his daughter...

How many TBMs have actually read the JoD? Some scary church history that you think would be disturbing for any TBM to read.

...it works even BETTER with a trailer park full of MEN!!

+1!

LIKE button.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/26/2011 11:10AM by AnonyMs.

Here he is, Heber, the "hunka hunka burning love" that every young Mormon honey was supposed to swoon over.

http://institute.lds.org/content/images/manuals/dc-in/007.gif

He was a weak-willed pusillanimous piece of work who could barely muster a word of displeasure when Joseph Smith told him to hand over his wife for a polygamous union. Joseph also asked for the wives of the other eleven apostles, but when he told weak-kneed Heber that it was just a test and he REALLY wanted Heber's 14-year old daughter, Helen Mar, instead, well old Heber was relieved and happy to turn her over to the prophet. "Thanks dad, you're the best. I hope you, mom and your other thirty-eight wives will be as happy as I will be with my 37-year old 'fresh, young and sprightly' prophet. Hope you all can come to my fifteenth birthday party in three months. Mark your calendar. I know that one day we will be a 'together-family' in heaven because Joseph promised that if I married him he would personally guarantee that we would all be together."

It makes you think of people who take prescription drugs to "take the edge off" and habitually overdose to the point that there's no edge at all. Not a bit of sharpness to be detected. But he sure liked polygamy. I'll bet if someone said "potential new wife" you would have seen a brief sparkle in his eyes. ;o)

If you love brothers Brigham, Heber, Jedediah, and the Twelve, please to keep our commandments that are given to you from day to day, and you will be blest and exalted. I do not want a woman to tell me that she loves me, when she does not keep my commandments, for her statement would be vague and foolish.
JoD 4:64, 2 Nov 1856

JoD3:360 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If you love brothers Brigham, Heber, Jedediah, and
> the Twelve, please to keep our commandments that
> are given to you from day to day, and you will be
> blest and exalted. I do not want a woman to tell
> me that she loves me, when she does not keep my
> commandments, for her statement would be vague and
> foolish.
> JoD 4:64, 2 Nov 1856
==========================================
*MY* commandments?

Can you say megalomania?

Can someone find the quote of HCK or BY saying to the mission elders: Find those them there pretty young virgins and let us pick them first, then you get the sloppy seconds, young-uns.

?

"Brethren, I want you to understand that it is not to be as it has been heretofore. The brother missionaries have been in the habit of picking out the prettiest women for themselves before they get here, and bringing on the ugly ones for us; hereafter you have to bring them all here before taking any of them, and let us all have a fair shake."
- Apostle Heber C. Kimball, The Lion of the Lord, New York, 1969, pp.129-30.

and again...

"I say to those who are elected to go on missions, remember they are not your sheep: they belong to Him that sends you. Then do not make a choice of any of those sheep; do not make selections before they are brought home and put into the fold. You under stand that. Amen"
- Apostle Heber C. Kimball, Journal of Discourses, vol. 6, p.256.

http://www.i4m.com/think/polygamy/polygamy_widows.htm

"The Mormon leaders were evidently worried that the missionaries would take the best women. Heber C. Kimball, a member of the First Presidency, admonished: 'I say to those who are elected to go on missions, ... remember they are not your sheep: they belong to Him that sends you. Then do not make a choice of any of those sheep; do not make selections before they are brought home and put into the fold. You under stand that. Amen' (Journal of Discourses, vol. 6, p. 256).

Stanley P. Hirshon adds this instructive information:

Kimball always kept an eye out for romance. 'Brethren,' he instructed some departing missionaries, 'I want you to understand that it is not to be as it has been heretofore. The brother missionaries have been in the habit of picking out the prettiest women for themselves before they get here, and bringing on the ugly ones for us; hereafter you have to bring them all here before taking any of them, and let us all have a fair shake' (The Lion of the Lord, New York, 1969, pp. 129-30).

From: 'The Changing World of Mormonism,' Jerald and Sandra Tanner, p. 225

Thanks to JoD and Snowowl both for supplying those quotes. What keepers. :-)

If you want to feel fresh, young and sprightly, suck the life out of a female by using her and taking away all her girlhood dreams. Then abandon her and her children when you have no further need of her.

But when Lee fell out of favor with Bro Brigham, the profit "released" all of Lee's wives from their marriage to him. Lee claims that all but four left him and took the bulk of his assets with them. He claimed he was unable to pay for legal counsel for his trials because his 15 ex-wives didn't leave him anything.

gorspel dacktrin, YOU should write a book, i always enjoy your posts

JoD is one of the things that first led me out of the Morg...

What I think is so funny are the quotes where monogamy brought down the Roman Empire:

“Since the founding of the Roman empire monogamy has prevailed more extensively than in times previous to that. The founders of that ancient empire were robbers and women stealers, and made laws favoring monogamy in consequence of the scarcity of women among them, and hence this MONOGAMIC SYSTEM which now prevails throughout Christendom, and which had been so fruitful a source of PROSTITUTION AND WHOREDOM throughout all the Christian monogamic cities of the Old and New World, until rottenness and decay are at the root of their institutions both national and religious.”
(Journal of Discourses, Vol. 11, p. 128) (Brigham Young)

“It is a fact worthy of note that the shortest lived nations of which we have record have been monogamic. Rome...was a MONOGAMIC NATION AND THE NUMEROUS EVILS ATTENDING THAT SYSTEM EARLY LAID THE FOUNDATION FOR THAT RUIN WHICH EVENTUALLY OVERTOOK HER.”
(Journal of Discourses, Vol. 13, p. 202) (George Q. Cannon)

Monogamy also caused debauchery in Europe too:

“Some of the nations of Europe who believe in the one wife system have actually forbidden a plurality of wives by their laws; and the consequences are that the whole country among them is overrun with the most abomi[na]ble practices? adulteries and unlawful connections prevail through all their villages, towns, cities, and country places to a most fearful extent.” (The Seer, p. 12) (Orson Pratt)

Stupid dumb f****

That damn monogamy man. It kills whole nations.

If mormons want to know why the world hates them have them read the above post.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/12/2011 10:29AM by get her done.

At least now I know why I withered up...always wondered.

What amazes me is how any rational being could sustain a religeon that is so focused on a man's penis. I mean they're cool, but... a whole religion?

An errection is a terrible thing to waste.....

Makes me want to barf...a bunch of smelly, dirty, out of breath old geezers lined up like hungry pigs hoping to get their hands on the fresh young tender meat the missionaries bring home.