Recovery Board
: RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum.
Right before I left TSCC in the early 2000s I attended a ward that changed boundries due to the huge amount of new houses being built in our area. It totally changed the ward culture.
Prior to the housing boom it had been a sort of rural/old families ward. People practically sat in the same seats each week for years,and certain bedrock families "owned" certain rows(hated that),Kind of a salt-of the-earth ward,the one where people helped each other out of friendship not obligation. One of the older men in the ward had actually donated the land to the church and many of the ward bretheren had worked on constructing the building.
When the boundries were redrawn about 1/2 of the ward moved to a new building and the other 1/2 remained in the old building, with new families being redistricted into the ward. I remained in the old building. It was total Chaos. For a while we had two Gospel Doctrine teachers (one oldie, one newbie) who alternated weeks because neither one wanted to be released. Everyone was upset The new people didn't realize they were sitting in other people's seats(I secretly enjoyed watching those little scenes play out), new people who had more prominent callings in their former ward were now openly glaring at those who held them in this ward. I have to admit that things got so interesting it did prolong my church attendance longer than I had intended. I just had to watch it all play out.My DH had left the church about 18 months prior and I now sat with a friend of mine,(J), who married a non-member (nomo).
Most everyone was trying to figure out who's who (this is most crucial in ward heirarchy) I mean people didn't know who were the haves and who were the have-nots. It didn't take long for cliques to form and ugly ward behavior to begin. There were basically four factions who J and I named:
The McFamilies
The Posse
The Dazed and Confused
The Rest of us
Warning: Generalizations to follow.
The McFamilies:
There were about 5 families in this category.
They'd purchased the new McMansions which now fell into our ward boundries.They had sold their house in the city (where dad now commuted to work 1 1/2 hrs each way),and paid cash for the Mc Mansion. With Dad's city salary in our subrban area and no mortgage payments they were the neuveau riche. In some cases Mom was able to quit her job and stay at home for the first time, others had been SAHMs since the birth of their children, but they were united in their SAHM superiority, for the most part. They lunched ,scheduled playdates for thier kids, and enrolled the kids in every activity time permitted. With Dad having such a long work commute they spent a lot of time in each other's company, and could be heard in church hallways calling out things like "can't wait for the cruise", See you at 'the latest fou-fou restaurant' tonight. They were FAB. They would be condescendingly nice to others, but you couldn't join their clique. And some people actually wanted to.
Whew, I didn't plan to make this so long and now I'm tired. I will finish it tomorrow.
Prior to the housing boom it had been a sort of rural/old families ward. People practically sat in the same seats each week for years,and certain bedrock families "owned" certain rows(hated that),Kind of a salt-of the-earth ward,the one where people helped each other out of friendship not obligation. One of the older men in the ward had actually donated the land to the church and many of the ward bretheren had worked on constructing the building.
When the boundries were redrawn about 1/2 of the ward moved to a new building and the other 1/2 remained in the old building, with new families being redistricted into the ward. I remained in the old building. It was total Chaos. For a while we had two Gospel Doctrine teachers (one oldie, one newbie) who alternated weeks because neither one wanted to be released. Everyone was upset The new people didn't realize they were sitting in other people's seats(I secretly enjoyed watching those little scenes play out), new people who had more prominent callings in their former ward were now openly glaring at those who held them in this ward. I have to admit that things got so interesting it did prolong my church attendance longer than I had intended. I just had to watch it all play out.My DH had left the church about 18 months prior and I now sat with a friend of mine,(J), who married a non-member (nomo).
Most everyone was trying to figure out who's who (this is most crucial in ward heirarchy) I mean people didn't know who were the haves and who were the have-nots. It didn't take long for cliques to form and ugly ward behavior to begin. There were basically four factions who J and I named:
The McFamilies
The Posse
The Dazed and Confused
The Rest of us
Warning: Generalizations to follow.
The McFamilies:
There were about 5 families in this category.
They'd purchased the new McMansions which now fell into our ward boundries.They had sold their house in the city (where dad now commuted to work 1 1/2 hrs each way),and paid cash for the Mc Mansion. With Dad's city salary in our subrban area and no mortgage payments they were the neuveau riche. In some cases Mom was able to quit her job and stay at home for the first time, others had been SAHMs since the birth of their children, but they were united in their SAHM superiority, for the most part. They lunched ,scheduled playdates for thier kids, and enrolled the kids in every activity time permitted. With Dad having such a long work commute they spent a lot of time in each other's company, and could be heard in church hallways calling out things like "can't wait for the cruise", See you at 'the latest fou-fou restaurant' tonight. They were FAB. They would be condescendingly nice to others, but you couldn't join their clique. And some people actually wanted to.
Whew, I didn't plan to make this so long and now I'm tired. I will finish it tomorrow.
THis sounds like an area around me. I have a co-worker who was very upset, and then depressed about the whole thing.I told her she should just go to which ever ward she wanted to but of course, she wouldn't do that.Can you say where you are located?
Yes, that all sounds familiar. The same thing was done in Heber, Utah. Took part of a rural, old family name ward & combined it with part of an arrogant, bertha-better-than-you ward. They never did mesh. Their ward meetings were always us vs. them. I served in the ward library for many years & you could tell who was from the arrogant ward just by their sense of entitlement.
OP, please finsh. I love a good story!
exmollymo Wrote:
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> OP, please finsh. I love a good story!
Me too.
I only really noted 2 kinds of TBM cliques in *my* ward(s)
the BIC/Royalty - usually leadership roles and RM's
the 'middle classes' - the people who got most of the work done - leadership positions would be limited to 'counselor', or teacher
---- But I am looking forward to learning about your observations
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/20/2011 08:45AM by EssexExMo.
-------------------------------------------------------
> OP, please finsh. I love a good story!
Me too.
I only really noted 2 kinds of TBM cliques in *my* ward(s)
the BIC/Royalty - usually leadership roles and RM's
the 'middle classes' - the people who got most of the work done - leadership positions would be limited to 'counselor', or teacher
---- But I am looking forward to learning about your observations
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/20/2011 08:45AM by EssexExMo.
Corridor Mormonism was built on the type of wards your old one used to be. Same faces and families generation after generation since the pioneers, established inner social order, agricultural economy, slo-o-o-o-w change. That's not Mormon society anymore, just like it's not US society.
But a lot of LDS core values are deeply rooted in an agrarian social model. Take large families, for example. A load of kids used to be an economic asset because they were free labor. So it's interesting to see how the church has had to adapt as it's membership changed from farmers to office workers.
But a lot of LDS core values are deeply rooted in an agrarian social model. Take large families, for example. A load of kids used to be an economic asset because they were free labor. So it's interesting to see how the church has had to adapt as it's membership changed from farmers to office workers.
My TBM DH can't stand the ward we're in. If you aren't a member of one of the five founding families, you were an outsider. But he still attends church, even when on military deployment. Go figure!