My wife and I were baptized last year into the Mormon church. We tried to start from scratch, and give our children a faith-filled life, something we didn't have growing up as "Catholics." But I've decided to leave the Mormon church, because I don't agree with many, many of their beliefs and doctrines.

We haven't been to the "chapel" in four weeks, and although I'm trying to become a true Catholic now, and to reclaim my Catholic roots, it is very difficult to give up on the Mormon church. And I don't mean literally leaving it behind, because I could just write a letter, send it to my bishop, and have my name removed from their records. But I feel that I'm going to miss the "brotherhood" and the social component. I'm also going to miss that we all as a family used to go to church every Sunday, and then my little daughter would go to her classes, and my wife and I to our classes, all at the same time.

I'm afraid we might not be as committed in the Catholic Church.
If you used to be a Mormon, and then became a Catholic, how did you do it?
En Cristo,
Pablo

I'm not Catholic, so I can't answer fully, but I'd like to throw my two cents worth in anyway.

The church uses psychological pressure and busy work to make families feel as though they're needed and useful. The women are sent to Relief Society so the men can get on with the "important work", and everyone is given endless tasks so they literally don't have time to think about what's actually going on. The beliefs and doctrines are fraudulent, as you've discovered, so don't worry about leaving that part of the church - you're free and should be glad about that. As far as family is concerned, you don't need to attend all the meetings, many of them segregated, in order to feel close and gain spirituality. Instead, celebrate the time you now have that you woud not have and pursue spirituality on your own terms and at your own pace. Your family will be closer, I guarantee, without the constant pressure and the feelings of never being able to do enough.

I wish you luck in your journey, and I'm glad you're on these boards. I find them to be incredibly helpful and uplifting. :)

It took me a very long time to decide to leave the church for very similar reasons. I really liked the social component: you meet great people and are sort of forced to socialize. It's kind of nice in a lot of ways.

It'll take some more effort to fill that part of your life, but it's worth it. Let your daughter get really involved in school activities, or local sports groups, or fun and productive things like that. Supporting her in that can be important for you, and you can make friends with other parents at those events.

You can also try using things like Facebook or Meetup to make friends with other families like yours. An advantage of this is that you're using your time being social, not just sitting in a classroom being fed religious dogma that you now know isn't true.

Yeah, it'll take a little more effort, but do it. Staying in the church isn't the hard way, it's the easy way. But leaving is worth it.

I think it's different for everyone, but for me, it was definitely fear. All of those dire outer darkness predictions and scriptures stating that it would be better for me had I never been born, if I had the truth and then walked away from it. Stuff like that.

But once I had studied enough to know with 100% certainty that the Church wasn't true, then their dire predictions no longer had any meaning.

I lost my fear, and that's when I was out for good. My sense of honesty and integrity would not allow me to keep my name on their membership rolls.

The organization which had taught me about honesty and integrity possessed neither of those traits, so I simply couldn't stay.

Edit: By the way, I was baptized Catholic as a baby, but I never did agree with their doctrines, so when I left Mormonism, I couldn't be Catholic either.

I really believe that children can be given a good moral compass simply by getting them involved in their community. Some neighbourhoods have a Spring Clean-up the Neighbourhood Day, and I see lots of families getting involved in that here.

Have them volunteer at the Food Bank. There are so many things to be involved in, which helps them to see people who are less fortunate than themselves and to give them a sense of 'loving one another.'



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2011 05:23PM by Greyfort.

I was a little sorry to lose the automatic social network, but it was not worth the trade off, even a little. There are unlimited opportunities to find other communities and friends that don't involve joining a cult. Whatever it is that interests you, there is a group doing it together. Better to share a hobby or passion than a set of delusional beliefs.

As you have probably read in other threads, the members will go out of their way to love bomb you, but if you really make the switch away from the church, they may act like they've never seen you before the next time you see 'em in the supermarket. While you're in the church you have access to great and exclusive knowledge that makes you part of a superior group of enlightened humans, but when you leave that club you are not only no longer a member, you are someone who rejected the exclusive knowledge (and your ticket to the Celestial Kingdom) and should be shunned. This may not apply to your particular situation, but it's the thinking of TSCC.

I've never been a Mormon, but as someone raised Catholic, I can tell you that most Catholic churches offer plenty of opportunities to get involved in social activities, including many which help in the wider community (i.e. they don't just help church members). You might not be aware of that since it sounds like your family had you baptized Catholic but weren't very involved in their church. When I was a kid, my dad, who is not particularly religious, was in our parish's Men's Club for a while, which was really just an opportunity for men to socialize as well as to do some volunteer work occasionally. He also volunteered many times to call numbers at the church's bingo nights for the elderly and for a period taught catechism to junior high students. My mom did various things too, usually volunteering as a teacher's aide or occasionally subbing in the parish's school.

I don't know what your politics are, but there are also many Catholic parishes which have a decidedly liberal bent, so if you are more to the left politically, a parish like that could offer you a lot of great opportunities to work in the community too. I have a cousin who has lived in a Catholic Worker house for years; they are quite left-wing politically and devote all of their time to serving the poor in the local community. Just ask around as to what the different Catholic churches are like in your area.

One thing I like about the Catholic church, although I no longer practice much of anything, is that you can choose how involved you want to be--super-involved, moderately, barely, or never--and it is entirely up to you. No one will criticize you or think less of you if you do not want to volunteer, join clubs, or socialize. However, I can see why that also would not appeal to people searching for a very "faith filled life" type of church experience. There are certainly many Catholics who have that kind of experience, but they generally have to seek it out; there are no assigned "callings," etc. as in Mormonism.

NeverMo in CA Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> One thing I like about the Catholic church, although I no longer practice much of anything, is that you can choose how involved you want to be--super-involved, moderately, barely, or never--and it is entirely up to you. No one will criticize you or think less of you if you do not want to volunteer, join clubs, or socialize.

I agree with that. Brown Lamanite, all you have to do is to ask your parish priest for ways that you can more fully integrate the Catholic religion into your life, if that is your wish. He would be delighted to help you. I grew up in a middle-of-the-road Catholic family, and while I have my issues with the church, I must say that for me, it was a very safe, secure way to grow up. You can always choose to send your kids to parochial school as well.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/24/2011 08:28PM by summer.

Just remind yourself as she goes to her little class your daughter is learning all about how to be happy in her designated mom and homemaker roll and with her limited choices thereafter. Also that she must always be sweet in order to make sure she will be worthy enough for a return missionary to marry who can lead her into the celestial kingdom.

How involved you want to be as a Catholic is entirely up to you. There will be no one forcing callings on you or requiring anything from you. I am a Catholic and am very involved. I belong to a small faith group (these are small, informal bible study groups), the Legion of Mary and help out with Religous Ed., vacation bible camp and the RCIA classes that are held at our parish.I enjoy all of these things. You don't even have to be volunteering to be feeding yourself spiritually. You could be attending daily mass, or spending time at Eucharistic Adoration, or even trying to make it to confession once a month. Also, you might enjoy a Catholic men's group like the Knights of Columbus.

I recently abandoned faith altogether but after leaving LDS, Inc. I became a Reformed Baptist, We went open-air preaching, had Bible studies, did charity work, and even sporting events. The new church actually helped me recover from Mormonism a lot quicker.

Haha, I have a different problem. I'm 15 and I have grown up in the church and have over the years come to realize how stupid it is. Their beliefs, their rules, their "code of conduct". I really want to quit and like you said, write a letter saying I quit, but I can't. The big problem are my parents who force me to go anyways, but even without taking them into account, I have had a hell of a time quitting. They actually follow me to my house if I'm sick on a Sunday to give me the lesson for the week. They call all the time asking if I'm going to be there. They keep tabs on everyone and In the leadership meetings, come up with ways to secure members Mormonism. I want to quit, I won't miss the "brotherhood" but I can't seem to get away. I'm trapped.

It's really hard to be underage and to already understand the truth about TSCC. I so terribly clearly remember being 15 and wanting so desperately to get free of the things that were oppressing me. It seemed like adulthood and freedom were so far away.

But, if you want to know, here is what helped me get through it:

1. Planning. Spend some spare time making a plan that will work in you circumstances.

2. Start working for pay. No matter what you have to do. If you can't get an hourly job working for someone else yet, start mowing lawns, shoveling snow, washing cars, weeding gardens, helping elderly people with household chores --- whatever you can find in your area. Always be on the lookout for a better job.

3. Save the money you earn. You can spend a little on yourself, as a treat, but save as much as you possibly can. Some day you will need it. Trust me.

4. Keep the money that you earn in a safe place where your parents can't take it away from you. Regular bank accounts may not work, as it's common for parents of minors to have the legal right to take their child's money from a bank account.

5. Keep track of which of your friends might, someday, be good possibilities for shared housing. That will get you in your own place as cheaply as possible.

They make it extremely difficult for you to leave. You basically have to go into hiding if you want to leave the church with no hassle.

Even if you got your name off the church records, you'd still have mormons turning up at your house, giving you phone calls, all that sort of stuff.

A lot of it is "peer pressure" as well. A lot of people feel they decide not to go to church, because they know after a few weeks everybody will be discussing them in all the meetings, they know they'll be the gossip. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but if you were well integrated into the church, the ward is often your main social circle. It's very scary.

For me another large factor was that I knew it would genuinely upset a lot of people if I didn't go to church. So I kept going to years to make other people happy. Some people do that their entire lives.

I can't connect with this. I found it quite easy to leave. Now I like to discuss it and such, but have a much happier life without it. You need to empower yourself by just turning your back and giving it the middle finger.

DEAR PABLO,
YOUR FAMILY IS EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING.AND IF DOING THIS FEELS LIKE THE RIGHT THING FOR YOU AND YOURS, DO IT AND DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT DOING WHAT YOU NEED TO DO BE HAPPY IN YOUR FAITH.
I am more spiritual than religious, but I was baptized and raised mostly in the Catholic Church, It's all about trusting your gut, I can't stress that enough, Maybe there our instincts or maybe they are "tummy angels", They've never steered me wrong. So follow your instincts,you may not know what to do when you get there,but trust in God, trust in yourself and you'll see the plan that has been made for you. My parents will sometimes go to a different church every Sunday, as long as the holy spirit is in the people there, you will find happiness.

Not a Catholic here, but Episcopalian (sometimes referred as "Catholic light" :-) ).

Something to consider is how the mormon church, in classic cult style, promises how much they will give you, but once you're in, you realize that it's *you* who are required to give so much to *them*--and they couch it in guilt terms of "God gives you everything, and you're just giving a little bit back."

Not saying that some people need that kind of discipline in their life, and that many Catholics are also that way, but the "freedom" that TSCC offers ain't the same as most christian churches.

Hola Pablo,

The niceness you experience in the Church, among your Church friends, is basically a sales pitch. Yes, it feels good when people are friendly to one another. But there are always strings attached. Seriously, if you put the friendship to the test it will evaporate because they are only expressing their love for (or attachment to) their church through you. It's not real. Because of the way the church operates psychologically, these friendships can't be real. So, don't try to make them real.

Catholicism can work for you as it's a very inclusive religion. However, you should remember that Catholicism brought Christianity to your people through the sword. Many of the holy men of your indigenous religions were brutally murdered to make the people accept this new religion. That's the limit of their moral authority. Pick and choose what ideas resonate with you and discard the rest.

There are mind running programs in the brain from the church. It has taken me 68 years to get to this forum. How I made it I don't know. I'm not here to get your money or push a program on any of you. I've used psych-K and erased the Mormon old programs of control. Getting unplugged is like the movie "Matrix". Remember Neo? That's what I've been doing for over 2 years. The day I was unplugged, I had nothing to hold on but it went away. It important to have a few good people for support. Z

Separation is part of it. This way everyone gets the same (different) information. These aren't actually classes, but drills. The brotherhood is actually made up, even unto the name. Stay in and get even more lost, empty, unfulfilled.

You aren't actually giving up on TMC (since its never cared about you) but the other way around.

Try the Lutheran Church. I raised my children in it and it was a very family oriented group with lots of activities, Catechism classes for teens, Sunday School for adults and kids. Very service oriented too. Their TBM dad was gone all day Sunday to meetings unfortunately and then out home teaching some other family.

You have summarized well the attraction of the LDS: brotherhood ... or sisterhood. You have also summarized well its weakness: the extremely strange beliefs that make no sense in the context of the Bible - the multitude of contradictions.

The advice would be to deepen your understanding of the Catholic faith, particularly the Mass with its exquisite words and prayers: listen to them carefully. Read a chapter of the New Testament each day and read some of the love letters the Church writes, they are heart warming. Perhaps start with the documents St. John Paul II wrote.

Finally look for some good knowledgeable Catholic friends. This is a weakness of the Catholic Church, because the beliefs are so gratifying the social aspects, in many parishes, are neglected ... a pity ... friendship is so important.

The mormon leaders are experts at what they do to the mind of their followers. It takes years to deprogram and become somewhat a normal person in society. Its almost like getting off of heroin but a million times worse. The cravings of the mind to go back will be there for a while. The fear tactics are the best i have ever seen. Many dont make it out of the cult it takes a ton of real counseling to sustain it i believe and if you dont have the counseling some end their lives unfortanetly because of the shunning and the weak mind they have when they leave. It takes a smart and strong person to make a successful getaway into a normal life i believe. Good luck to you the first year is pretty hard.

Your choices are Mormon or Catholic? Your screwed either way