Why does this sound as ghastly as a TR interview with a bishop or a youth interview? <shudder>

you have to list your sins, like masturbation,lying, stealing, and tell how many times you did it. then the priest will absolve you of your sins and give you a penance "sentence" which usually involves several "Our Fathers" and "Hail Mary's."The priest doesn't usually question you directly.

For children, they are taught what a sin is first..then they are taught what to do...first confession...the parish priests guide them gently thro ugh it..for adults, you don't have to list every sin, categories will do..you must confess any mortal sin or sins..

The priest listens, rarely comments...my priest doesn't give just give hail marys etc...but things to read...

Jake said nothing as intrusive as a worthiness interview...no questions asked...easy

Not creepy...

stormy

The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines grave matter as:

1858. Grave matter is specified by the Ten Commandments, corresponding to the answer of Jesus to the rich young man: "Do not kill, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and your mother." The gravity of sins is more or less great: murder is graver than theft. One must also take into account who is wronged: violence against parents is in itself graver than violence against a stranger.[2]

This would also include worshiping other gods, not respecting the Sabbath, covetous behaviour; and the Catechism quotes the Biblical prohibition against blasphemy.[3] The Church itself does not provide a precise list of sins, subdivided into the mortal and venial categories. However, many sins are described as "grave sins" or "grave offenses" in the Catechism such as extramarital sex,[4] divorce[5] and masturbation.[6] These sins must be specifically confessed and named, giving details about the context of each sin: what sin, why, against what or whom, the number and type of occurrences, and any other factors that may exacerbate or lessen one's responsibility and culpability that the person confessing remembers. Roman Catholic belief holds that mortal sin can vary somewhat in seriousness, and thus canon law only lists some of those that are more serious.

Most priests at least ours, don't require names, dates, times, any specific details, telling what you have done is enough...that's our parish, I'm sure others are different..

stormy

This brings back memories of my very first confession,before my first communion as a Catholic.

I was seven years old and had had all the catechism lessons. Off I went into the confessional where everything proceeded as I had been taught, EXCEPT, I went off into a day dream. I eventually came round to hear the priest trying to prompt me to say something, anything really, I would guess.

"Have you told any lies? Cheated at school? Stolen anything? Say something little girl"

To this day I have no idea how long I had been day dreaming, although I expect if it had gone on for more than ten minutes or so my mother would have come to investigate. Or maybe they are not allowed to? It could have been a lengthy ordeal.

in downtown Salt Lake. The grandeur of that cathedral always impressed me and it was kinda spooky in a neat way as it was only dimly lit for evening confessions. I hated going to confession and would make shit up because I knew I was supposed to say *something* but I always liked going to that church.

Afterwards, I would be taken to Snelgrove's for ice cream so it was really just a big bribery scenario.

Oh, and also when I was a kid confession was done anonymously with a screen or some other barrier between you and the priest so you didn't have to face him, unlike a mormon worthiness interview.

As a Catholic convert, I still have a problem with viewing Confession as terribly intrusive.

However, to understand it, you have to know exactly what it is, and why it is.

The sacrament is actually known as "Reconciliation." And it is more of a counseling session than a recitation of sins. The purpose is to find out what has happened to intrude on your relationship with God, and how to rectify the separation.

Simply listing four venal sins and two mortal sins won't do it. The priest needs to know the circumstances of the incidents, and then he can counsel you on how to avoid them the next time you encounter them.

And you also must admit remorse for your actions, and the priest has to believe you are going to do your best to not commit the same sins again.

"I'm living with my boyfriend," can be a confession, but to make it complete, you have to indicate that you'll stop the "sin," or correct the circumstances. Otherwise, you cannot receive absolution.

Confession to a priest is misunderstood. Many people say, "I don't know why I should have to tell a priest, I can confess my sins directly to God." And that is absolutely true. But will you be completely HONEST to God? Most people try to bargain with God. Or reason with Him. "Yeah, I did cheat on that test, but EVERYBODY was cheating, and if I wanted a passing score, I had to do whatever it takes."

The priest isn't there to judge you. And he certainly isn't going to be shocked or surprised by what you confess. Truly, there isn't anything new under the sun! But a competent priest will be able to see through the fudging, the BS, and the justification, and let you know that you aren't kidding anyone but yourself. According to the beliefs of the Catholic Church, the priest is serving as God's ear in hearing your confession. He receives this authority from the Apostolic succession, from when Jesus breathed on the disciples and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit: what you hold bound on earth will be bound in Heaven, and what you loose on earth will be loosened in Heaven."

It's a natural, normal human trait that people feel the need to unburden themselves to another person. This is obvious from the business success of everyone from bartenders to psychiatrists. A priest is an ideal confessor, because NOTHING leaves the confessional.

After the confession, the "counseling session," if the priest is convinced of the sincerity of your remorse and of the promise to avoid the sin in the future, he uses his authority to absolve you of sin.

To a Catholic, it's a joyful, exhilarating moment. The spiritual high is unlike anything else.

You may be given prayers to say, or something to read, or one of my favorites, an anonymous act of charity to perform. These efforts are NOT a method of "earning" forgiveness. You are already forgiven the moment you leave the confessional. Instead, they are actions that to reinforce and remind you of your relationship to God.

~VOW

Exactly

stormy

Wow, negativity can spread like wildfire here. Think whatever you want but do research too!

Man, it's been so long since I went to confession! This brings back some vague memories. Yeah, confession isn't at all as intrusive, apparently, as these "worthiness" interviews that I recently had to crack down on for my own son's sake. I remember it not being much of a big deal at all, mostly because I was such a good little Catholic girl, I never, and I mean NEVER got into any trouble. Like Skunk Puppet, I had to make stuff up the few times I went, because......there really was NOTHING to see there folks, move along ;)

Had a humerous experience with first/only confession also:

Was the ONLY non-Catholic in a Catholic High School. I think I might have been the first too because as graduation was looming closer, there was this predicament.

For some reason I can't now recall, in order to graduate from this high school they required all students to attend confession during the Senior retreat (like a F&T sob fest only way-cooler) before our last mass and graduation.

So what to do about the sole Baptist? (Yeah I was Baptist at the time, before Mormon, oh my).

The upper-ups wrestled with this a while and came up with:
I was requested to write down all my sins on a sheet of paper, and during the service, I got to hand it to the priest who then lit it on fire and it burned to ashes in front of everyone.

Good thing I had only written down sins from THAT year, otherwise it would have been like burning down a whole Dictionary!!!

1st Confession is 2nd grade. Right before 1st Communion.

These are the sins you must confess:
1--I fought with my brothers and sisters.
2--lied to my mother.
3--stole a pack of gum from the 7-11
4--I was mean to the unpopular kid at school.

The priest then absolves you of the sins then gives you penance, usually something like 3 Hail Mary's and 2 Our Father's. And then tells you not go do it again. You assure him you won't. By the end of the day, you've already sinned at least two of those sins again.

Then, as your 1st Communion is probably tomorrow, you ask the priest to bless your new Missal and Rosary that you got for your First Communion.

I have never ever heard of masturbation being a sin that was even discussed, much less confessed to by an 7-year-old.

The priest never ever asks you any details about the sins you committed beyond what impact do you think this particular sin will have upon the person you hurt. (In the case of lying to your mother, the only correct answer to that question is the truth--it will put her in an early grave.) He may also add that your father in heaven is aware of this sin and what a disappointment it is to him that you committed it and how hurt he is. (That's your Catholic guilt in action.)

Pretty harmless.

CateS Wrote: [in part]
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> These are the sins you must confess:
> 1--I fought with my brothers and sisters.
> 2--lied to my mother.
> 3--stole a pack of gum from the 7-11
> 4--I was mean to the unpopular kid at school.

Cates, I think you forgot sin #5: I threw Peanuts in the toilet.

[God, I crack myself up!!]

CateS Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 1st Confession is 2nd grade. Right before 1st
> Communion.
>
> These are the sins you must confess:
> 1--I fought with my brothers and sisters.
> 2--lied to my mother.
> 3--stole a pack of gum from the 7-11
> 4--I was mean to the unpopular kid at school.
>
> The priest then absolves you of the sins then
> gives you penance, usually something like 3 Hail
> Mary's and 2 Our Father's. And then tells you not
> go do it again. You assure him you won't. By the
> end of the day, you've already sinned at least two
> of those sins again.
>
> Then, as your 1st Communion is probably tomorrow,
> you ask the priest to bless your new Missal and
> Rosary that you got for your First Communion.
>
> I have never ever heard of masturbation being a
> sin that was even discussed, much less confessed
> to by an 7-year-old.
>
> The priest never ever asks you any details about
> the sins you committed beyond what impact do you
> think this particular sin will have upon the
> person you hurt. (In the case of lying to your
> mother, the only correct answer to that question
> is the truth--it will put her in an early grave.)
> He may also add that your father in heaven is
> aware of this sin and what a disappointment it is
> to him that you committed it and how hurt he is.
> (That's your Catholic guilt in action.)
>
> Pretty harmless.
Yep, that is what I realised as well, by the end of the weekend, we all "sinned" yet again. Usually it was my brother starting the fights, and it all went downhill from there. When we were in NM one summer, and I was only 6 yrs old, my brother and sister shoplifted some of that Brachs candy from the display at the Piggly Wiggly. I honestly did NOT steal anything, but I was "guilty" cause I was there. I got my a** blistered by the belt, and then all 3 of us kids were taken immediately to the parish priest and had to go to confession. I got the belt twice as bad, cause even though I did not shoplift like my siblings did, mom thought I was lying so she continued to give me the belt cause she thought I was lying as well as stealing. That was the worst weekend of my life!! I dont think I was able to sit down for a month.

The dreaded belt. That brings back memories...my father's choice of a weapon was his belt. And just to piss him off I never cried, ever. I would chose the belt over grounding. Since I was extremely stubborn and extremely curious...well a few times a week was the norm. That belt hurt.

stormy

is a (kitchen) Timer involved?

does a Yellow Light come on when time running out, followed by a Red one?

does waiting who's in a hurry -cough- to let you know s/he's WAITING?

Is there a Gift Shop?

about that 'Holy' water...

do people ever get in line again after leaving... with something they 'forgot'?

Does anyone get a receipt?

any Ring Kissing going on t/here?

dress code for confession is ?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/08/2011 03:29PM by guynoirprivateeye.

Are those serious questions?

If so...

is a (kitchen) Timer involved?--no you can take as long as you like--2nd graders usually take 2 minutes.

does a Yellow Light come on when time running out, followed by a Red one? No, the lights outside the confessional are so prospective confessors won't walk in on someone else in the middle of their confession. When you go in and kneel on the kneeler, your weight turns on the light.

does waiting who's in a hurry -cough- to let you know s/he's WAITING? No way.

Is there a Gift Shop? No. Unless it's a European Cathedral.

about that 'Holy' water... That's in a dish at the entrance to the church. You cross yourself when you first enter.

do people ever get in line again after leaving... with something they 'forgot'? I've never heard of it. I guess it would hold for the next time? Plus, if you're sorry, you're forgiven anyway.

Does anyone get a receipt? Why? No exchange of goods for money took place.

any Ring Kissing going on t/here? No, that's just for the Pope, bishops and Cardinals. And when you approach them, not in the confessional. In the confessional you're in a cubicle and the priest is in his own cubicle on the other side of a wall. He slides open a door that still has a screen in front that you can talk through but through which you can't see each other. You're not technically in the same room.

dress code for confession is ? clothing

Honestly not a lot of people beyond childhood go to confession very often--maybe 1x per year or less. Only the truly religious go weekly and they would never cough or make a noise to hint that you're taking too long.

And no, if you confess to murdering someone, the priest won't turn you into the police--will only pressure you to turn yourself in.

guynoirprivateeye Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> is a (kitchen) Timer involved?
>
> does a Yellow Light come on when time running out,
> followed by a Red one?
>
> does waiting who's in a hurry -cough- to let you
> know s/he's WAITING?
>
> Is there a Gift Shop?
>
> about that 'Holy' water...
>
> do people ever get in line again after leaving...
> with something they 'forgot'?
>
> Does anyone get a receipt?
>
> any Ring Kissing going on t/here?
>
> dress code for confession is ?


Nope, no timer involved, but the preist doesnt want ya to be there for an hour either. Nope, no lights yellow red or otherwise. No gift shop unless you are at the Vatican. The holy water is water, just blessed by an ordained Catholic priest. I've never seen anyone get in line for "seconds." Unfortunately no reciepts are given, cause God knows ya been there. The only ring that one may decide to kiss and only if they want to is the Pope. Dress code for confession is, and you will love this...Whatever you want to wear!! Jeans,T shirts, unshaven, whatever YOU want to wear! They dont dress up for church either. I always thought it was so weird to see the fashion show at a mormon culthouse on Sundays. Us Catholics wear whatever we want to. Jeans, t shirts, whatever, cause we know that God doesnt give a sh** about what we are wearing. Its whats inside. The Mormons always got a little upset with me cause I never wore a stupid dress, and I started to wear jeans, sweats, and T shirts to their "sacrament" meeting on Sundays. Must have pissed em off. Oh well, at least I am having fun on MY Sundays now since I have better things to do that get preached at by the Mormons and bored to death at their cult house. BTW, we dont dress up for church either!! Ive never seen anyone except for only very few men wear a tie.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/08/2011 10:50PM by utahmonomore.

Some dress up for Mass but not confession/reconcillation...come as you are.

I love Saturday 5:30...we don't dress up...but yes on Sundays a little more.

But really God doesn't care what we wear but what's in our hearts..

stormy

I clearly remember my 1st confession right before my first holy communion. I was 7 years old I think....maybe 8. I was VERY excited. The priest had been involved in our classes up till then. I was comfortable around him and would greet him on Sundays. I have never done confession in one of those booths you see in the movies. My entire class went to our priest's residence which was on the same property as the church. One priest and our teacher kept us in the living room with cookies while the priest took us to his kitchen table. There was a door shut but we were only feet away from 13 other people.

The priest and I said an "Our Father" together. I then confessed that I had wrecked my brothers snow fort and then lied to my parents about it. We talked about why it was wrong, and he gave me some sort of penance. I left and went to eat cookies with my friends.

I am not a practicing Catholic. I have no need or do I want to defend the Catholic Church. I am simply presenting the facts as I experienced them. It is a GREAT childhood memory!!!

Have Bps / SPs hand out...COOKIES at interviews!

Glad U / Why didn't someone else Think that up ?!

guynoirprivateeye Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Have Bps / SPs hand out...COOKIES at interviews!
>
> Glad U / Why didn't someone else Think that up ?!

Id go for cookies

guynoirprivateeye Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Have Bps / SPs hand out...COOKIES at interviews!
>
> Glad U / Why didn't someone else Think that up ?!


Guy, they are Mormons. They'd __SELL__ you the fucking cookies. Having had them baked as a service project by the RS sisters, with ingredients donated by the Sisteren.

I have never been, but my Catholic friends have never said it is anything to worry about. If you don't want to go, there is no pressure and you can do it anonymously. You can even go to a priest who doesn't know you. Unless you are famous and have a distinctive voice, you can do it in anonimity. JFK used to complain that the priest always recognized his voice[ the security details probably clued them in too], but most people don't have that problem. It is a matter of conscience. You are supposed to go, but nobody is going to call and schedule you or even know that you haven't been.You are nto supposed to take communion if you have committed a major sin and havent confessed, but it is on the honor system

The classes that the kiddos take before First Communion covers the whole sin business. They are "marks" on your soul, and mortal sins (killing someone, etc) are deadly sins, and if you die with them unconfessed and unforgiven, you're doomed.

If you die with venial sins, that's what earns you a ticket to Purgatory. I plan on packing a lunch, bringing a big book, and wearing comfortable shoes to Purgatory.

If you FORGET any of your sins, you are still forgiven. However, you are supposed to confess them when you do remember. That probably explains the folks getting in line for "seconds."

If you deliberately OMIT confessing a sin (killing someone, peeking in the neighbor's window when she was undressing, etc), not only is the OMITTED sin unforgiven, the CONFESSED sins are unforgiven as well.

And FYI, if someone has been away from the Church for a long time (a year, a decade, half a lifetime, etc) the time spent in the Confessional is surprisingly SHORT. It typically consists of an apology for being away so long, and the priest joyfully welcomes the person back. The penance will probably be something like, "I expect to see you in Church every Sunday, now!"

It is NOT an exercise in being demeaned, berated, scolded, or shamed.

~VOW



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/08/2011 04:30PM by voweaver.

No one forces you to go but CONFESSION is a helluva lot cheaper than paying a shrink.

You get to start life over with a clean slate as often as you desire.

(Oh NO!)

can THAT be forgiven?

haha, jokes on ME!

I went to a Catholic elementary school, so the Catechism lessons were a part of the normal school day. First Reconciliation happens just before your First Eucharist (holy communion) and they give you this lesson book where you can read about the sacraments and draw pictures and things (like you shaking someone's hand in forgiveness). I wish I still had that book.

Anyway, I did not go behind the screen, I sat right in front of the priest. I was comfortable since we saw him all the time in school. Even when I was in other parishes I opted for the face-to-face rather than the confessional booth. I had to think hard to make up some stuff. Being mean to my brother, hitting the cat, stuff like that. I was never asked anything other than how long it had been since I'd been to confession, and the normal counseling. I had to say an Act of Contrition at the end with the priest, then got the penance.

It wasn't bad or dreaded.

Actually, when I was investigating the mo church, I went to confession and told the priest about it. I was sitting face-to-face with him in the tiny room. He looked like he couldn't care less, and all he said was "if you join another church, you forfeit the blessings of your baptism."

I wish he had looked horrified and warned me about the Mormons. I was on the fence and the fact that the priest didn't seem to care or put up a fight for one of his flock sold me on the (seemingly) nicer church where they care about you so much.

I wasn't going to get baptized, but the priest's indifference seemed like a sign to me from the Holy Ghost confirming Mormonism's truth. It was truly the turning point.

Here's another point of view: I work for the Catholic church and the priests are so funny about Reconciliation (we don't call it confession any more, haven't since the '70's).

Mind you, they never, ever say anything specific--they can't. Seal of the Confessional and all. But at staff meetings the priests I work for used to argue over who was going to hear confessions at the scheduled times because it's so boring. Seriously! They say they have heard it all, nothing surprises them anymore.

Their favorite thing? First Reconciliation. The standard joke is that it's like having marshmellows thrown at them--little kids just don't sin.

Check out a movie called 'The Commitments'. It's an Irish film and there's a confession scene that's hysterically funny.

Irish Catholic goes to confession.

Patrick: "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."

Priest: "Was this a mortal sin or a venial sin?"

Patrick: "One of each, Father."

Priest: "What was the venial sin?"

Patrick: "I shot at a Protestant."

Priest: "What was the mortal sin?"

Patrick: "I missed."

I felt a little bit scared/intimidated going into my first confession. I did it in third grade during my weekly catechism class and we all went together as a group (and then into the confessional one by one.) But really, it was a breeze. What's a good Catholic girl going to confess, anyway? It was a struggle to come up with sins to confess, lol. Umm, I lied, I thought a mean thought, I said a bad word. Kids are typically finished within a few minutes. No biggie.

After that, I went every now and then with my mom. We would take turns going into the confessional, and join one another at the alter rail while saying our penance (I was always given a set of prayers to say.) I was always okay with it. I remember it as being calm and peaceful, and not distressing in the least. I enjoyed the time with my mom. Catholic churches are very pretty, and I always enjoyed looking at the statues, the stained glass windows, the flowers, etc.

I am at a loss why one has to confess sins of an kind thru a priest or anyone for that matter, but that is why I am not Catholic.

Well if that is the case with you, Canuck, then get off this thread. Clearly there is nothing of interest here for you. I'm certain that you can find another thread on this BB where you and some other posters can all discuss how stupid everyone in the world is, with the exception of yourselves of course.

Posters in this thread are actually giving some very evocative and interesting experiences about growing up RC, in response to a valid question. If you want to bitch about the Christian practice of confession or reconciliation, start your own thread, don't attempt to high jack this one.

As a child in the Catholic church, I really didn't question things too much. Later on, as I came of age, I came to appreciate the Protestant concept of a "priesthood of all believers." I never felt that I needed someone to intercede with God for me. I felt comfortable talking directly with him/her myself.

The Catholics I knew tended to like intermediaries. They prayed (had silent conversations with) Jesus, Mary, and various saints. I think they felt that they could have more personal relationships with these intermediaries.

BTW, my confirmation name is Catherine. I was debating between Catherine and Theresa, but went with the former. My choices had nothing to do with the relevant saints. I just liked the names, and felt that they both fit in well with my given and family names. As a young woman, I liked having four names (first name, middle name, confirmation name, last name.) It made me feel important, lol. Later on, I found out that my confirmation name is also a family name.

My confirmation name is Catherine of Sienna...my Mom had it right...she was a doctrate of the church and a mystic..ha..and I was a tomboy who collected snakes and frogs and toads...realistic, concrete kid...no one ever let me in the house without checking my pockets first for snakes and things...lots of boys in the neighborhood...summer as a kid was great.

stormy

Its NOT at all like a face to face meeting with the bishop. I was raised Catholic. You go to first confession the day before you recieve(notice the word RECIEVE, and NOT "take" as the Mormons call it) You are behind a "screen" in the pentinant(confessional) and say "Bless me Father, for I have sinned, this is my first confession". Then you tell em what you did over the years. The M thing NEVER was brought up. The "sins" were the typical kid stuff, like hitting a sibling, mouthing off to a parent, fighting, or saying a dirty word. Then the priest will absolve you of your sins and tell you to pray 10 Hail Mary's, or some other prayer. Then boom, you are done. That in a nutshell is what happens. You run into a few devout Catholics like my mom who go to confession every weekend just cause they want to. Guess it depends how devout they are. In second grade we were prepared the whole year for our first confession and communion. If one has "sin" on their heart and have not gone to confession then they are not eligible to recieve the "host" at communion in Mass until they go to confession. Only baptised Catholics are able to recieve holy communion. This presented a problem at The Cathedral of the Madeline in SLC a few years ago when some mishies got in line at Mass thinking that they too could "recieve" communion, and the priest was like "I dont think so!" They of course did NOT recieve communion. The host cannot be recieved by an unbaptised Catholic, or any Catholic who has sin in his heart. Hope this helps.

The little firecracker was in there for at least twice as long as her classmates. The other moms kept glancing at my sister (what did she do, form a gang?)

What I think happened was that Fr. Gary knew this child and that her dad had died on her 5th birthday. I think he just spent some extra time with her. Now, at 12 she has shown little interest in the church but is considering being confirmed like her older sister. Fr. Gary and the other priests always ask about how my sister is doing and about the firecracker.

Back in the '50s, the nuns had us do "practice" confessions, with made-up sins, in catechism class. The term used for masturbation was "abusing your body." Sister had us rattle off sins like a laundry list: "I disobeyed my mother three times. I hit my brother two times. I ate meat on Friday once. I abused my body four times." As I recall, body-abusing wasn't condemned any more strongly than any other sin. (Decades later, when the masturbation thing showed up on a list of "sins" in her catechism lesson, I told my own second-grader that masturbation is NOT a sin, just a personal thing one does in private with one's own body.)

At one point, I hadn't been to confession in quite awhile, so I asked my mother how many weeks were in a year--the better to calculate how many times I'd "abused my body." I told the priest I'd abused my body 52 times. He had no comment on this, probably assuming that a ten-year-old girl didn't have a clear picture of what "self-abuse" was.

In my twenties, during a tough time in my marriage (which my husband proposed to remedy via "open marriage"), I went to confession at a different parish and confessed committing adultery twice. All the priest said was "Uh huh." Kind of a letdown, when I expected fire and brimstone.

When I was suffering from depression (but didn't realize it), one priest figured it out during confession and asked me to come talk with him any time I needed to. He was the only priest I've ever met with a master's in social work. very kind man.

In my forties, though, I had a phenomenal pastor who was amazingly insightful. Confession with him was more of a discussion, and I'd come out of the confessional feeling as if I'd had a session with the world's best shrink. May he rest in peace.

My parish priest is a super guy. He brought me back to the church when life got in the way. He always had time if I needed to talk..he was the one who taught me...you forgive but don't forget...forgiveness with protection is what he called it..He baptized and confirmed Jake. He has a special place in our life and our hearts.

stormy

"Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn."