Lemme guess... Ann Dibb (in primary president speaking to 4-year-olds voice): "blah blah special blah blah blah special blah blah..."
Eyering (in kid about to be spanked voice): "blah blah sniff sniff sniff blah blah sniff blah blah..."
Udork (in sexy German fighter pilot voice): "dablah dablah dablah dablah dablah dablah dablah dablah dablah dablah da gospel dablah dablah dablah dablah..."
Nelson (in contain the excitement voice): "blah blah blah I'm with Monson on the gay thing blah blah blah blah, but lesbians make the best wives when you're 80 blah blah blah"
Jowels (in I'm not a dodo voice): blah blah BLAH blah blah BLAH, BLAH BLAH BLAH..."
Hoax (in I'm trying so hard not to show my gay side voice): blaaaaaaaaah, blaaaaaaaaah, blaaaaaaaaah, blaaaaaaah....
Everyone sings "We thank the, oh God for all the profits," funeral of the prophet is adjourned for four years, GAs file out before family because they're the most important, Wendy and Sherri high-five each other with tears in their eyes, "Yes! We made it!"
***Disclaimer for busy body sibling: This is Parody. Don't get your holy panties in a wad.
I do remember my GA grandfather's funeral, in the tabernacle, before that bigger building was built. I was a young girl, born and raised in California. The hearse and our limousines were caravanning down State Street, and there were crowds of people lining the streets, the whole way. I said, "Look at all those people! What's going on today?" I had no idea this was all for Grandpa.
True story--during the closing prayer, a sudden, huge gust of wind swhooshed across the front of the chapel, blowing papers around, knocking over some of the flower arrangements, and slamming the two front doors, on either side of the pulpit. People thought it was Grandpa! I swear they really did!
I guess there weren't any miracles at Monson's funeral. How boring.
At my grandmother's funeral many years ago, the powers to be, Dad and the other uncles thought it would be best that the grandsons be the pallbearers.
When you get 8 teenagers jocking for position, and we were getting grandma out of the hearse, there was tripping and stumbling, and of course the coffin was bounced up and down.
Things settle down, but there were evil eyes glaring at us as we enter the church, especially from mom.
Afterward mom caught up with us and started berating us on how we were so disrespectful and rude.
My brother, the oldest of the bunch, more mature and saw things from a different point of view, spoke up and said it wasn't our fault, it was grandma's fault.
"Grandma was inside the coffin laughing at all of us."
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2018 01:28PM by tumwater.
Was it all performed in passive voice? As in, "Feelings were soothed, and hearts gladdened. Seemingly from out of nowhere, a roasted turkey was produced, and bellies were filled!"
A surprising number of family members wore clothes I would consider to be inappropriate for a funeral: colorful shirts, no jackets, no ties, even at least one hoodie. Did the folks wearing that stuff want to tell us something or am I overthinking this?