Let them scatter. Who would want to hang out with those kind of people anyway. I've said before that the silver lining of resignation is that you find out who your real friends and family were and who just felt a cult-kinship with you.
Two of my current (and lifetime) BFFs are people I met at the church I now attend. They have both moved on to something that worked better for them and yes, I miss them in the congregation, but it didn't change our friendship a bit. If anything it's stronger because we have to make more time for each other. We meet for dinner or drinks after work often, and phone/text a lot. As a mormon, I never knew what that kind of real friend even was.
One of my dearest, old friends at church phoned me around christmas. She went on about how everyone misses me and why haven't I been to church in such a long time?
I drew a huge breath and told her how innocently I stumbled onto ex-mormon stuff while listening to the motab on youtube. I went on for over 10 minutes cramming in everything huge and relevant to answering her question. I let her know how it all made me sick inside from living a lie for 40 years.
She listened to the end and said "you are making ME sick" then hung up.
Ce la vie! I am lousy with apostate cooties!!!
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2018 12:45PM by cutekitty.
I suspect that she didn't care a lick about how the phone call went; that it went 'badly', from her perspective, just made it juicier, because the only real meaningful reason for making the call was so that she could talk about it later, in ward council, or just as pure gossip.
The principle reason for the call was to brag about having made it.
Exactly what my reply was going to be. I'm sure that woman uses it as one of her faith-promoting stories.
Obviously, she never did have any real feelings for CuteKitty.
"Let them scatter. Who would want to hang out with those kind of people anyway. I've said before that the silver lining of resignation is that you find out who your real friends and family were and who just felt a cult-kinship with you." Too true, Norma Rae.
My elderly, widowed aunt had recently resigned from the cult, after serving in the RS and as organist for her ward, for over 40 years. We went to visit her at a few Christmases ago, and there was about 3 feet of snow in her area. Every house had their driveways, walkways, and sidewalks completely cleared, all up and down her street--except for her house! I took a picture of it, and captioned it, "Which is the apostate's house?" She said the Mormons had cleared the other widow's house, who was a ward member, and the bishop's house (who could have done it himself), and the never-mormons' houses, to impress them. Someone had even cleared the vacant house next door. What a demonstration! We all immediately shoveled away the snow for her, and we still do. She's too nice to be treated like that.
There was a high counselor who gave a talk in church a few months back. He said that if the husband leaves the church the wife is sure to follow. Because like women can't think and make decisions for themselves. Bleeeehh! My mostly TBM wife was expressing her frustration over this talk. I think this sentiment is probably on of the reasons why she is still hanging on to the church. Because if she leaves then it gives credibility to this ignorant, chauvinist high councilor.
To make matters worse, for several months she has felt very forgotten in the ward as if she is already a lost cause because her husband is an apostate.
I feel bad for her but I also secretly hope she joins me here in outer darkness. She also hopes I will come back into the faith and join her so I guess that makes us even.
The idea that apostates are "defective", is "institutionalized".
The church and it's teaching subtly and sometimes not subtly tell members that only those wishing to sin, lazy, angry, gay, etc leave.
No one is going to say to you,. Hey I respect you...tell me what your thoughts are about leaving. Let me review your sources.
All believing Mormons think an apostates is defective. If they ask for real reasons and actually have a rational conversation... They aren't true believers. They aren't interested in truth just feelings.
Defective. Yes. As in unable to resist the temptations of the Adversary. As in easily fooled by Lucifer. Defective as in having lost your morality.
And there is no way to make them understand that by and large exMos are better than before by a long shot. And so you go to see the family and they are polite. Polite like you would be in a business meeting with a an underhanded sneaky fellow employee in attendance and you take the highroad because you don't want to be seen as the problem. The Mormons want to be seen as magnanimous.
So I go to see the family and they are nice but the elephant in the room is that they see me as defective. They want to protect their children from me. They are doing their duty knowing when we die they won't see me anymore so why put much into the relationship? And I look at them and I think you really aren't going to have to wait that long before you don't have to see me anymore because I am about done.
Why didn't I quit the family years ago? Why do I do my duty? Why do I keep feeding Dumbo?