I've started telling Mormons I left the church because I don't have a middle name, and therefore no middle initial. Without that middle initial my progress in God's Kingdom on earth was going to be severely limited. So I decided I didn't fit in, and left.

It's a lot easier to explain this, than to try and explain the doctrinal, historical, and scientific problems with the church.

TBM: Darren, so why did you leave the Church?

Darren: "I left because I found my temple new name disgusting and offensive."

TBM: I know you're not supposed to tell me your new name under penalty of a slit throat, but just whisper it to me anyway.

Darren: OK, it's David.

TBM: David! What's so offensive about that.

Darren: It reminds me David A Bednar and I can't stand that self-righteous asshole. Bednar's talk about never taking offense is so offensive it defies description.

So I was offended. That's a reason TBMs can understand.

The cool ones use their middle name, leaving the first as the initial.

Void K. Packer Wrote:
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> The cool ones use their middle name, leaving the
> first as the initial.

Dorothy Parker, the undisputed queen of the one-liner, said she didn't trust a man who parted his name in the middle.

I've always wondered about the initial thing. Do those GA's think it gives them more gravitas or what? Maybe it makes them think they are more in tune with the savior, even Jesus Christ.

Don't you mean "Jesus H. Christ"?

Yes. That's the fellow.

SonOfTheLeftHand Wrote:
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> Don't you mean "Jesus H. Christ"?

as all pompous GAs prefer, he should be referred to as "H. Jesus Christ"

Isn't it J. Even the Christ ?

http://worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-jes1.htm

It's like the name of that president of yours, Harry what's-his-face. Now I remember: "Harry S Truman." No period after his middle initial, either.

Here's a key to the mystery of the kingdom on all of nonsense:

"Sometimes an 'S' is just an 'S'"
by Tammy Kelly, archivist
Harry S. Truman Library . . .

"When future President Harry S. Truman was born on May 8, 1884, his parents decided to name him Harry, after his mother’s brother Harrison Young. But what about a middle name? Harry’s parents could not come to a decision . . . .In the end, they entered his middle name as simply 'S,' which led to a never-ending controversy and questions about Harry S. Truman’s middle name. . . .

"But if Truman’s middle name is just 'S,' and does not stand for anything else, why does the Truman Library use a period after the 'S'? The reason is simple: Harry Truman did. . . .

"This leads to another question that Truman asked his friend and former Secretary of State Dean Acheson: What does one call Truman’s middle name? In a letter to Acheson in 1957, Truman writes, ' . . . [D]o you know the word meaning an initial standng in a name but signifying no name itself, as the "S" in Harry S. Truman?'

"This leads to an entertaining response from Acheson, who contacts several librarians and reports back on his search:

"'The essence of the matter is that we are blind men, searching in a dark room for a black hat which isn’t there. The “S” in Harry S Truman (no period after the “S”) does not "stand for anything." Therefore, it cannot have a descriptive noun--"vacuum," "nothing," etc., are already pre-empted. But, more positively, it is something--not representatively, but absolutely. You are 'S' (without a period) because it is your name.'

"One of the librarians stated in her report that she understood Truman’s parents gave him S as a middle name. 'Parents can name their child anything they please, and if they choose to name him X, then X is his name,' she wrote. 'On the other hand, it seems a pity to offer nothing to an ex-President. Why not make up a word? I suggest sic, meaning "so in christening.’"

https://prologue.blogs.archives.gov/2012/05/08/sometimes-an-s-is-just-an-s/

Case closed, people.

Yo, HST: When it comes to your middle initial "H," give 'em Hell, Harry. And you can use that "Hell" to stand for my non-existent middle name, too, if you wish. I really don't give a damn, but there ain't no way in Hell I'm gonna add a period after it, just to make me look important.

I Am What I Am and It Is What It Is: a big, fat nothing burger. Get over it, people.

And I'm especially talkin' to you--yeah, you: the obnoxious Mormon GAs. Get a friggin' life. Quit using those stupid middle name initials to toot your own flute. It only makes you look like the Prima H Donnas that you truly are.

Jesus H Christ!

GfA

Since they're mostly asshats and assholes, "A" is a popular middle initial for GAs (Geriatric Asshole).

I thought that all the GA's had the same 2 middle initials...

FN

Haha that is awesome, i hate that middle initial bullsh#t. I just tell people i am too old for the single's ward and that usually works. But really i am too old for the church as a whole. My mother to me to grow up so i did at least with this fantasy. She did not like that too much because she is still caught in all of it.

And by the way the middle initial tells me who not to vote for.

Ah yes..the middle initial - an example of the quintessential culture of the cult hierarchy. Very laughable. One time when I was in a stake leadership position (and in my 20's), I thought I would try to use my middle name in a stake announcement that went out in the form of fliers to all of the wards. At the end of my little announcement, I simply put Jason W. Turkeybuzzard (for example - not my real name). You would have thought that I had committed a treasonous act or sacrilege. I was told not to do that again because that protocol is reserved for stake and general hierarchy. I laughed.

You rather gave it away that your name is Fartinson - or am I missing something ;-)

Thanks for acknowledging my presence on the Monson death thread. :)

Posted by: steve benson: 'Huw come "GA" doesn't have a middle initial?'

(Giggle.)
P

It makes you appear more intelligent and authoritative.

http://www.businessinsider.com/middle-initials-make-you-look-smarter-2014-5

How many David Bednar's. Or Russell Nelson's are there in the world?

GAs obviously don't want to be confused with any of the unwashed.

You USE your middle initial like your middle finger. Give them JUST your middle initial.

Can always have that middle-I-am-higher-up-the-ladder-than-you stand for what you want it to. Like:

Thomas S. Monson......Thommy Sing-songie Monson

Henry B. Eyring.......Hank Bawler Eyring

David A. Bednar.......Davie A**Hat Bednar

Dallin H. Oaks........Dallie Harda** Oaks

Dieter F, Uchtdorf....Diet Foxy Uchtdorf

Russell M. Nelson.....Russ MightyfullofHimself Nelson

Two things:

First, Tuesday I made the mistake of texting my wife to let her know that Nelson had selected Oaks and Eyring as his counselors. She responded that it was very disrespectful to refer to them only by their last names, even in a text. At a minimum, I needed to include their first names, but they deserved the respect of being addressed with either their full middle name or initial. *cough*...bullsh!t...*cough*

Second, aren't criminals usually identified in the news with their middle initial?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/18/2018 03:39PM by GregS.

Serial killers usually get the full-name treatment.

I feel like a GA with my credit and debit cards. They always add just my middle initial on it

Ha, I have TWO middle initials, as do our two oldest sons. My full name is, thus, one that sometimes takes an extra line. At a church (Non-LDS) conference I had a roommate with no middle name, and a first name of only three letters and a last name of only three letters. BTW, middle names are important because names like mine are otherwise very common.