So yesterday was my birthday. On my facebook page were the usual greetings, some from TBMs I stay in contact with. One was from a "friend of a friend," the daughter of a youngish couple (well, youngish in the 70's) that was in my youth ward. The last time I saw this person, she was probably 5 years old.

Anyway, being uber-TBM, she apparently just HAD to put something mormon in her post:

"Happy Birthday (Hie), I remember when you were our home teacher so many many years ago!"

Um...I was never this kid's home teacher. I was never anybody's home teacher. I left the cult 3 months after coming home from my mission, and never ever once home-taught anybody. Ever.

So I private-messaged her, and thanked her for the bday greeting, and said while I remember her as a little girl, I was never her home teacher.

She replied, "Oh, you must be remembering things wrong! You were our home teacher when I was in MIA Maids! I used to enjoy your visits!"

Now, remember, by the time this kid was a MIA Maid, I had been out of the cult for at least 7 years.

So I replied again, "Actually, I think you're remembering things wrong. I left the church in 1980, and never home-taught anybody before that. You weren't in MIA Maids until 1987. By then I was living in LA, where I'd gone to college the 6 years prior. I was nowhere near your ward, and I wasn't a mormon. But thanks for the thought!"

I guess that wasn't good enough -- her holy mormon memory trumps my facts:

"Oh, I'm sure I'm right. You were our home teacher when I was in MIA maids. I guess one of the signs of age (it is your birthday!) is you start to forget things! Have a great day!"

I was tempted to reply with something really snarky (but factual), but seeing as how her "faith" in her imagined past appeared absolutely unshakable, I decided to just let it go. Somehow this kid convinced herself that a completely fictional account of the past -- demonstrably false (I can show her my college transcripts!) -- was the only "truth."

Where have I heard that before? :)

Mormons. Sheesh.

Speaking of faulty memories, I thought your birthday was Jan 6.

Anyway, she was using your birthday to remind all the Facebook world that she is a Mormon. She probably does have fond memories of you, though, as her parents’ friend.

Happy belated birthday Hie! :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/09/2018 10:36AM by kathleen.

kathleen Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Speaking of faulty memories, I thought your
> birthday was Jan 6.

8th. Me and Elvis and Stephen Hawking :)

> Anyway, she was using your birthday to remind all
> the Facebook world that she is a Mormon. She
> probably does have fond memories of you, though,
> as her parents’ friend.

I know -- so typical, huh! Even something as seemingly innocent as a birthday greeting has to be turned into a self-serving, mormon advertisement.

> Happy belated birthday Hie! :)

Thank you. I don't feel 58. Most of the time, anyway...:)

Happy late birthday! I hope it was a great day.

Happy late birthday! Hope you had a good birthday, in spite of "Oh I'm sure I'm right", Merry Miss Memorie! Don't confuse me with facts, now! This made me laugh out loud,because it's so true...feelings are going to win, hands down every time.

You should respond with a "memory" of your own.

Hie: Oh, I remember you. You were the kid that was always getting in trouble with drugs and sex, causing so much pain for your parents. I hope you got the help you needed, served your jail time and are better now.

TBM: That wasn't me! You must be remembering wrong!


Hie: Oh I'm sure I'm right, you were the little rebel child that I home taught all those years ago. I guess one of the signs of being an addict is to deny the problem.

And so on.....

Wish I'd thought of that originally :)

I forgot the most important part....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

HA ha and ha. Too good.

Happy late birthday, Hie. You took the high road, buddy...kudos for that.

Hah! Good one, Johnny the Smoke!

I wonder if this young woman has been "assigned" to you. Mormon cult members are hard at work on Fakebook, to re-assimilate "less-active members who are going though a faith crisis."

It makes me angry when Mormons assume things about us, and try to define us on their terms, and pretend to read our mind.

Now, older people are "senile" and aren't remembering things correctly! I'm sorry, but that young woman is disrespectful and rude! Unfriend her.

Belated Happy Birthday, wanker! Hey, remember the time we went golfing, and I shot the eagle and you did the double-Boggie? What do you mean? You shot the eagle, no way way! Happy Birthday Hie!

You must be remembering that wrong. Probably 'cause you're getting old and senile!

<grin>

Thanks, pal.

Smelly, too!

she is gaslighting you; she unwittingly learned it from the best of them.

TBMs love to rewrite the past and blame their faulty memories on exmormons or anyone they hope to discredit.

I'd say that friend isn't worth it.

WHAT??!!! It's a sign of your age??? REALLY???

Gosh. I thought it was just two years ago you taught that gospel doctrine lesson on the Book of Abraham and the whole class left the church.
I couldn't be wrong. (Just kidding - happy late B-Day!)

You are BOTH correct.

Chalk it up to the Mandella effect. This is named after the phenomenon of some people remembering Mandella dying in prison where other remember him being president of South Africa.

As an example. We used to sing How blessed the day wben the lamb and lion shall lie down together without any ire.

However....nowhere in the bible does it say the lamb and the lion shall lie down together.

Does Vader say "Luke, I am your father" or something else?

Heartless Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You are BOTH correct.

Well, actually...no. I've got evidence to back up my memory. She doesn't. :)

> Chalk it up to the Mandella effect. This is named
> after the phenomenon of some people remembering
> Mandella dying in prison where other remember him
> being president of South Africa.

And some of us remember that guy as Nelson Mandela...

> Does Vader say "Luke, I am your father" or
> something else?

Something else. ("No. I am your father.")
When I got hired at Lucasfilm, I could already quote every line from all 3 (at the time) Star Wars movies. Every. Line.
Signs of a misspent youth, no doubt :)

I do not have a faulty memory.

I blame everything on the mandella effect!

Damn my false memory of you and I celebrating your birthday a few months ago at the course, and over a whole lot of beer and lap dances!

(okay, I added the lap dances because it's the closest I'll ever come to one.)

I've now corrected my calendar...

Best wishes for the upcoming twelve month stint, playing the role of a 58 year old!! It's a dirty job but your your experience should stand you in decent stead.

Happy Birthday Hie.... I hope it was wonderful , like you.

Happy Belated Birthday, Hie!

I hope it was great, despite the "I'm always right, because the church is true" moment you had. But I'm sure it was despite it. :-)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/09/2018 03:26PM by severedpuppetstrings.

Wow, at the least I'd have unfriended her..at the worst I'd block her online so she can't continue to be such as asshole to you.

As sir david the bard would say, they are all brain damaged. I don't even engage anymore because i know the type of replies i would get and it would only piss me off, because in the end their only intent is to piss me off eventually in the conversation.

She's not a child anymore, and probably has kids of her own.

It's not too late, Hie. Post pics/stories of the relevant era on FB, noting that it's for some of those whose memories are less than accurate. Perseverance is a hallmark of your use of Socratic methods.

"A younger aquaintance recently accused me of senility, regarding where I was living when she was a child, so I'm wandering down memory lane. I guess this *old man with a bad memory* remembers it more clearly than from the foggy recollections of a child."

Her poor kids, with a nasty person like that for a mom, and I wouldn't put it past her that she has been practicing on her own parents/elders, manipulating the hell out of them. I'd bet that she would also claim to recall events more accurately than her children. Just so long as she can establish herself as *purely the best,* at whatever endeavor, at any price, gets what she wants, she is sated. Can't even manage wishing a happy birthday, if it costs her a cent of ego.

A proper gift-wish reply, even if she *believed* you are mistaken: "Oh, I'm so sorry, I must have confused you with Brother John! But, still, a very happy birthday to you, kind sir!"

*That* is the level of her selfishness, which is entirely of her own doing. You will not have been the only recipient.

Stir that pot!

I like your attitude :)

As it so happens, she's the one still stirring the pot.
I had decided to just let it go.
This morning there was this note from her:

"By the way, I talked to my mom, and she remembers you being our home teacher, too. Looks like I was right! Have a great day!"

I can only imagine how that conversation went...

"Hey, mom, wasn't (Hie) our home teacher back in our old ward in the mid-80s?"

"Oh, dear, I don't think so. I don't recall seeing him after he went on his mission. And I heard he left the church after he came back, that would have been around 1980 or 81."

"But mom, I remember him being our home teacher! So he must have been! He says he wasn't, but I think he's just getting old and senile, so if you don't remember it, you must be getting old and senile too!"

"OK, dear, whatever you say."

Oh, and in another thread I mentioned a TBM who had posted a "mormons, get over the NYT obituary" message -- that was this girl's dad. And she commented on his post, raking him over the coals and acting oh-so-offended at the NYT Monson obit. Looks like she browbeats her parents like she does everyone else.

I'm considering replying to her message...and what I'll say. Although at this point I'm pretty sure nothing is going to change her testimony that I was her home teacher, when in reality I was off at college as an ex-mo sinning it up :)