President Monson arrives in heaven, and meets Jesus for his PPI.

Jesus: First question: tell me Thomas, How did you honor me with your handling of your stewardship?

Monson: My Lord, I have expanded your vast real estate holdings.

Jesus: Thomas, I’m sure you have read your Bible at least once in your life. You know my kingdom is not of the earth. Here is what I’m really interested in – – I have been comforting a lot of gay youth who arrived in a recent sudden influx. What can you tell me about that...?

Jesus: 2nd question. Arrivals over the last years, especially children of gay parents are indicating that you did not baptize them because their parents are gay. Is this true my son.

Monson: Well Lord, as you know homosexuality is an abomination to thee. So yeah, we would not baptize their children.

Jesus: Suffer the little children to come unto me Thomas. I would never order, sustain, or condone such action, yet you did so in my name.

Monson: It was more Elder Packer, Nelson, and Oaks Lord - I honestly let them take the lead on this. I am really sorry.

Nice & NICE, well done!

What makes us think he arrived in heaven?

The interview occurred at the Pearly Gates, he hasn't gotten past the first steps, he hasn't even gotten to the point where JS pulls the quiz on the secret hand shakes.

That was great! Would you consider making a hell one for us?

TSM's ears wiggle in sync with his steps as he struts confidently towards the pearly gates, excited by the prospect of (finally) meeting Jesus in person, not to mention the big guy himself: Joseph Smith.

After exchanging pleasantries, Saint Peter says, "look, Tommy, you're a smart and important guy, so let me get straight to the point. You're in the wrong place..."

"I knew it," blurts out TSM, steamrollering over Saint Peter. "There must be a VIP entrance, or maybe an LDS entrance. I don't even see Joseph Smith here."

"Ah, Joseph Smith," says Saint Peter. "Let me route you to him immediately," reaching for a hidden lever.

"Well, now we're getting somewhere," says TSM, but his next remarks are unintelligible, turning to a shrill squeal when the trap door drops beneath him.

Fast forward a week, and Saint Peter's curiosity gets the best of him, so he gives Stan a call. "Hey, it's been a week since I sent the last Profit [pun intended] down there. Just wonder how things are going."

"That guy is nothing but trouble," says Stan. "First of all, he never shuts up about Mormon persecution. But he's managed to license a Pepsi bottling plant, and, on top of that, he's raised enough money to air-condition the place."

Heh heh heh! HA HA HA!!!! Love it!!!

This is where we keep all the mormons. We tell them it is heaven. They don't know the difference.

So, Monson arrives at the pearly gates. St. Peter is expecting him. Monson asks if Joseph Smith is there. St. Peter says, "Yes he is- just up the stairs". Monson climbs a flight and sees a door-he knocks. A guy answers and Monson asks "Are you Joseph Smith"? No, the guy replies "I'm Moses-Joseph is upstairs" Monson starts climbing to the next floor thing that Joseph must really be important to live above Moses. He arrives at the next level and sees a door. Knocks, and a guy answers. Monson asks "Are you Joseph"? the guy says "No, I'm Jesus, Joseph is upstairs". Now, Monson, breathing hard from climbing and excitement that Joseph live higher than Jesus arrives at another floor. He knocks on the door. A white haired old guy opens the door. "Are you Joseph"? Monson asks. The old guy say "No-I'm God, come on in". Monson walks in and asks if Joseph is there. God says "Yes- I'll get him" Monson is ecstatic that Joseph lives with God. God says "You look exhausted from climbing those stairs-would you like a cold beer?" Monson thinks for a bit and says "You know, all my life I've wondered what a beer tastes like. I've made it to heaven, so I guess it would be ok. Yes, God, I'd like a cold beer." God claps his hands and yells to the kitchen "Joseph- bring us two beers"

FOFLMFAO!

They know it is a 'scam' and they are likely 'very worried' if the God of the bible does exist!

I'm confused, I thought he's going to Kolob.