I was hanging out with a TBM friend I had back in high school for the first time in quite a while; he doesn't know I left. One of the other guys I'd never met before in our friend's house we were in apparently was a convert to Mormonism from outside the Mormon Corridor. Just as we were all getting ready to leave the guy asked me "So are you LDS as well?" (nothing religious had been discussed all night) Though I've had the experience of telling friends and family that I've left, I somehow couldn't just say no and change the subject, so I just coyly said "Yeah" and tried not to make eye contact with my old friend. I can't believe how uncomfortable it made me.
I know it has often been repeated that if a friendship is based on membership in TSCC, then it isn't a real friendship. Regardless, I just didn't want to bring it up. I think if my friend just point-blank asked me I would be honest.
I don't know how he would react since he seems to be the most level-headed of a *radically* TBM family. Maybe if I had better social skills I wouldn't be so afraid of losing old high school friends that I barely ever see anyway. I dunno. I feel bad for not sticking to my guns and just saying "Nah. I was raised Mormon but I have gone my separate way from the church" like I mentally rehearsed for such situations.

I’m a Reformed Mormon. The indoctrination is too deep to fully get rid of even though I know it’s all made up. All that Mormon lore.

Hey, if Joe can have reformed Egyptian, why can't we have reformed moism?

It sounds like you don't get together all that frequently with your friend, so I think you handled it fine for an off-the-cuff answer. If you wish, next time you can give the latter response.

It’s okay. Once when cornered by a supervisor I was asked, “You’re LDS, aren’t you?” Yes was the simple answer.

My response when asked the question? I smile and say, "I was raised Mormon". And then I !.) Move on to another subject or physically move out from the 'conversation' circle. I leave it up to the questioner to draw the lines.

I usually say, "No, but I was raised that way," or sometimes "No, but my family is."

Then sit back and smile a Cheshire grin while they figure it out.

I always say, "My mother was Mormon which meant I was Mormon"

Say, "This evening is ending. I'll save that discussion for another day. Nice meeting you. Good night."

A woman recognized me in a restaurant this week, but I'm bad with faces so I didn't recognize her. She said, "Don't I know you?" and I responded by giving her my name. Then she said, "Aren't you LDS?" and I just said, "I used to be." I was very impressed that it didn't faze her at all!

I tell people that “I was raised Mormon but I had the stick pulled out of my ass when I turned eighteen”. That always gets a laugh. Another favorite, “It’s been alledged but there isn’t enough evidence to convict” or “I was baptized but it never took”.

‘No,’ is a complete sentence. Say it and you’re done. Never have to second guess. Unless it’s about sex. Then, no always means maybe... ;)

Since I have no intention to resign my commission in the mighty, mighty priesthood, I will shamelessly agree that I'm mormon if the person asking has a lot of money, some of which I might have a shot at earning.

And of course, if it's missionary elders asking, I can loudly exclaim that I am a mormon-atheist, and why.

I just say, "No," followed by an awkward silence. I want them to feel awkward in asking that question. Asking about religion is not PC. I'm not required to give any explanation.

Sometimes, I feel angry when I'm questioned, and I say:
"No religion or politics in the workplace."
"This is a party, let's not talk about politics or religion."
"I'd rather not talk about religion."
Again, I'm not required to answer.

Not so much the polygamist ggggrandfathers.

I don't get asked that where I live. But don't mind telling people in conversation that I was raised LDS but am no longer one.

It's a part of my heritage, since my ancestors on dad's side were early Mormon pioneers.

Each of my great great great LDS grandparents fathers fought and served in the Revolutionary War. One at least served in the War of 1812 (he received pensions for having served in both wars.)

Another of my direct ancestors who converted to Mormonism after marrying my Mormon great-grandmother served in the Civil War. The Confederates didn't kill him. The Indians didn't after he joined General Sherman out west to Wyoming to help settle Indian territory claims. The Mormons finally got him. He fell ill at church services one Sunday, and died soon thereafter.

There was a huge brawl the night before at a choir practice he'd organized. He smoothed things over between the fighting factions before people went home. There was also a woman who wanted him to take her for his 2nd wife and she began to court him, when my great granny told him in no uncertain terms she would not have a plural marriage. So he ended it with the woman who was chasing him in their Mormon country town.

I believe someone from their church poisoned him, or the Mormon town lawyer. Because as soon as he was dead and gone the town lawyer came and stole my great grandmother's house and property out from under her, and she was forced to move destitute, with her children, to Utah over the border from there. The land was prime real estate that was stolen from her after great grandpa died.

Poison was a common way of killing enemies or to seek revenge between Mormons during their early days. Not that my great grandpappy was that kind of person, he was someone who had been trained in the healing sciences. His dad had been a physician and taught him how to stitch people up with lacerations, and to set bones. He may have done that during wartime too.

I believe someone had it in for him and poisoned him at church that Sunday. Either the woman exacting revenge for his having spurned her; someone from the brawl the night before; or the town lawyer who did a land grab as soon as he was dead.

I wouldn't beat myself up too bad about it, if I were you Courtesan. You regret your answer? So what? Life is full of mistakes. You'll answer how you want to at some point.
Amy Jo it sounds like one of my gggrandfathers may have shot at one of yours or vise versa. I've traced Ancestors on my father's side back to colonial Virginia. Had ancestors fight in almost every war since even before we were a country. Two ancestors were involved in Bacon's Rebellion. One got hung, the other hid out on a widows plantation, helping her out for two years before turning himself in.

That very well may be. Some of my ancestors came from the deep south. :)

My great grandpa who fought in the Civil War was a spy for the Union side. He went into the south to infiltrate enemy camps to gather intelligence to take back with him.

He was a personal messenger for Gen Sherman too. He'd take messages between Sherman and Gen Grant. That's how well respected he was regarded by the generals.

I told my closest friend that I was resigning,I really felt the need to be honest with her,she shed many tears and begged me just to go inactive for a while and try to figure out if its what I really wanted,I told her I had taken 18 months to figure it out and was sure,we remain good friends and meet up once a month,woudl be more but its the distance,its the elephant in the room,mostly because we respect each others decisions in life.

Other friends have dwindled away,its been 8 years since I resigned,one or two still chat on social media,I never post anything about the Church and neither does my friend,it works for us.

OP, I view it as your having been polite to a rude person. "No" or "None of your business" might have been the *stick to your guns* response, but that is not always necessary, especially if taken aback by a rude, personal and inappropriate question.

Instead of feeling bad about it, please try to think of it as an insignificant event that serves to goad you into taking control of the art of deflection, on tap at will.

Looking the questioner in the eye, offering a handshake, knuckle bump or whatever the norm is for you, "It was great getting together, and I was (past-tense, over-his-head slight) glad to meet you. Maybe we'll talk again,... goodnight!"

In the middle of an evening, "I need a nature break" (or however you say you need relieve yourself). Then go, it buys time to think and calm down.. If the questioner persists on your return, respond with a non-religious question about sports, school, job, his current living situation, dating, mate or children (something of interest and/or personal to him). Basically, answer a question with a question. Over and over again. Turn his attention from you back onto him.

A convert may well be clueless about BIC indoctrination, and has joined to be part of a group. You can set your own "rules" for participation. Gauche questioners - deflect them like steering around a pothole. Matters of faith are personal, a concept foreign to cult-like, religious group-think. Leaving LDS is letting go of revealing every little tidbit of your private matters. You can choose not to answer, however you like. You don't answer to a bishop, or probing, personal questions, anymore.

For being caught off guard, you did okay, still learning to take back your life.

Be gentle to yourself, like you would to someone you love.

I haven't resigned, so technically I guess I am Mormon. If asked, I say yes but I don't go to church.