I can't help myself to fire back i have the confidence now. Nice guys get f#cked over that was my biggest lesson in life and in mormonism, we get used abused and then made fun of on top of it so maybe we mess with certain people in real life because we know how to after we were messed with for decades we know how they think. As the bard said they ruined fifty years of his life and they ruined thirty of mine. There should be no mercy and there isn't at least for now. Any time i can make a dig i will, but they are pretty sullen and sad people and this is coming from me.

Did they (smile)?

And did they mean it? :)

No smile not even forced just kept on acting like he had a stick up his @ss. We were in the same singles ward a few years ago and he is married and even i seem more legitamitely happy or i know i am on a good road to happiness without the millstone mormon church so much around my neck. I am curious hie are they told to never smile in the temple? I have never gone through but i know there is no loud laughter and light mindedness, i would have been a terrible temple mormon i joke around too d@mn much haha.

Smiles are meant to be freely given, not forced.

Why not give the dude one of yours?

Living well is the best revenge, not constantly carrying an ax to grind against the whole human race.

That Mormon dude you picked out like a target could've been you in a different life. Don't prejudge others because it does them and you both a disservice.

What you said to this person wasn't said to sincerely elicit a genuine smile from him, but to mess with his mind. And that is just well sad and reflects poorly on you. If it made you feel better in some perverse way, who is the joke really on?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/06/2018 08:07AM by Amyjo.

Eh he was an old mormon friend so it was kind of just messing around but i was kind of serious he acts like i used to act. I do know one thing i do love to fight and battle even if i lose not really sure why, it is the fight that i really live for and my counselor pointed that out to me, i have been doing it for so long i don't know anything else, fight or flight. A battle between the logical side of my brain and the brainwashed fantasy seems to never end although it has died down because almost everything in my head is a lie, from jesus to joseph smith, all a lie and i have to really understand that to move on. I was even lied to by society so the rules have changed. I don't even know how to live well, what the hell does that even mean? The human race started this not me i was just existing they picked the fight over and over, i just wanted to be left the f#ck alone and still kind of do unless you can actually help me for real in the real world like physically doing something, it isn't hard just stop watching the tv and get off the couch and do something for real, nobody actually helps each other for real i am surprised the homeless haven't gathered and lashed out at everybody yet, that really surprises me, war veterans that fought and died for this country just got shat on and they just take it every day and don't know why, it is my curse to notice everyone's suffering every time i am around people, i even notice the suffering of the handicapped and the mentally ill. No person that has to be taken care of 24/7 is happy i don't care what anybody says i see it first hand and nobody brainwashed in a cult is happy either, they have been stripped of all identity, personality, laughing, and agency, submit and shut your mouth to the death, f#ck that i would rather die in my efforts to deprogram and find my real self that i don't even remember ever being even if it's f#cking annoying to everybody, if i am really going to be forced to recover then the whole f#ckinfmg world is going to know it even if everyone has to actually pay attention to something other than their fake tv set and fake reporters and fake news to manipulate and control everybody, if i asked any person why they are alive they would have no f#cking clue and just give a generic answer, nobody actually knows why they are here and why they wake up every morning, the mormons say they are here to be tested others say we are here to gain a body others say we are here for family and love, these are all very generic answers, but anyways i was told that i was very normal once whatever that means to the mormons but i was very young so that really sucks to be a trauma victim without even knowing it or really knowing why or what the hell all happened. but getting revenge is the best revenge that's what makes sense to me. Even the bible had eye for an eye, that is a pretty fair law in my opinion otherwise nobody learns a lesson and just run to an invisible jesus for forgiveness instead of facing the person you screwed over and facing the consequences and giving a true apology with restitution. Words are empty and fall on deaf ears. I respect any professional that actually helps me for real and can back it up, heard a lot of empty talk my entire life it's time for the true badasses to keep showing me what they can do and continue to help me out of this hole i was born in and put in, cutting me down does not affect me anymore so don't bother wasting your energy critisizing me. This is what i know about the older generations for the most part but not all, they watch tv everyday and they cut down the younger generations and constantly judge us and try to suppress us at the same time and they have made it hard for us to get real health insurance because they just got themselves covered for free automatically, i couldn't get health insurance for 12 f#cking years because of pre-existing conditions so i couldn't get help for 12 f#cking years until i finally got f#cking disabled and f#cking financially broke to get health insurance so i deserve to have a beef with society if anybody deserves to have a beef with everyone its me. I will repair this body and my mind will recover even if it takes 5-10 years like i was told it would take to be kind of normal or even if it takes a lifetime, i do know one thing i want to be a better human than everyone else, i want to be the human that i have been looking for in others but never found, i don't want to be a disappointment human that i see in everybody else for the most part, i want to be what the jesus figure should have been but he never achieved in my experience and opinion, very nonexistent and absent dude that can not heal the body, i think i can be way better than that and won't be hard, i can spot out other people's suffering naturally so that is a good start. I have never been the 9-5 robot that you see so often even when i tried i was only good at being an independant contractor in the end which i will probably have to become again, i don't take orders very well i know that much even when i try, nobody should be above you in my opinion even for bank notes that people call really money, it ain't worth it when you can make way more as an independant contractor and you call the shots and make your own schedule. But anyways i don't care if the average person can not help me and only a few professionals know what the hell they are talking about because they have seen my situation before. I get told over and over and over that there is no quick fix jesus for this which is absolutely accurate thus far. Everybody else i don't know what to say about other than they get in my way of healing and recovery, i would not have to wait as long to get things done if there were less people in the way. Sad but true, anyways don't care if anybody reads this or what anybody says this was always just to get things off my chest and out of my mind and written down. Not sure if internet me and the real me match quite yet but i think that is one of the goals to not have such a divided mind and personality and become a complete person and completely authentic. The internet world really is not all that real to me but it helps to vent in between surgeries i guess, keep my mind busy and active at all times. I feel like i am doing what sir david the bard does, say what we want for theuroputic purposes no matter what people say, recovery from anything is individual in the end, the group mindset is for other things. Maybe i should learn how to make youtube videos and possibly speed things up, if i am more exposed it may force me to be more real and teach me not to hide in any way that so many others do when they leave the church. They hide and become recluses and hide their identity and i don't think you can ever recover unless you stop hiding from everybody, i thought about this a lot you have to be totally honest and brave eventually. But anyways sorry i wrote a lot had to get a lot off my mind. If you read all this then you are boner status, which is very hie by the way haha.

"But anyways sorry i wrote a lot had to get a lot off my mind. If you read all this then you are boner status, which is very hie by the way haha."

I read all that poor me drivel. Guess that makes me boner status. haha.

You did good!

I don't know what the fine line is between defending yourself and getting revenge.

I think of most of us ex-Mormons as recovering victims. IMO, badassadam was defending himself. He was being frowned-at. This triggered flashbacks of negativity and abuse.

I have PTSD, and I feel better if I give some sort of verbal response to Mormon rudeness. I will respond to their rudeness to others, too, as a matter of principal. I dislike cruelty and nastiness. There are ways of responding without having to be rude, myself. Saying "Smile!" is probably not rude.

I say neutral, observational comments, or ask a question. For example, "What a strange thing to say." "I LIKE that person." "I think things are just fine." "Are you all right?" "Are you having a bad day?" One Mormon former-friend was frowning so severely, and her face was so twisted, up, and her eyes were so glaring, that I just burst out laughing--I couldn't help it. I felt like I had a break-through, being able to laugh at Mormon insanity.

For me, to keep silent, and let them get away with gossip and rudeness and shunning, is being unkind to my self. I'm worth defending! So are the others I defend.

I'm not out go seek "revenge." I just want the gossip and rudeness to stop--at least while I'and my friends are there. Nastiness is abusive to anyone who has to hear it or see it.