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Posted by: Rubicon ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 01:41PM

I basically made the mistake of going on a mission because I was desperate to see if the church was true. About half way through it, I didn't believe in the church, I didn't like what I saw going on in the church, and I couldn't stand my mission president.

So I basically came clean about my pre-mission sex so I would get sent home early. When I admitted I had been having sex before my mission and never confessed it the mission president turned into Howard Stern. He wanted all the details.

Did you do oral? Did you do anal? Exactly what positions did you do it in? How many times did you do it? The idiot wanted to know everything and I'm going holy heck, this dude is a horny pervert. Then he used the opportunity to make me phone my bishop and stake president to humiliate me. He refused to send me home and so I left on my own shortly after that.

Anyways, it probably was the most strangest experience I ever had in the church and that is saying something. The guy used to be a bishop at a student ward. I bet he just loved to get those poor girls teary eyed and probe for all the juicy details. Some of these leaders are really sick perverts.

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Posted by: imaworkinonit ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 01:57PM

Why he wanted to know all the details.

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Posted by: Rubicon ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 02:03PM

The dude was a lawyer and was really not fun to argue with. He was a bully of the highest order. In fact, I snuck out of the mission because the guy would have sent a posse after to kidnap me. You couldn't reason with the jerk. I have had bad bosses but this guy is the worst I've ever seen. In hindsight, he was nuts.

Even my parents hated the guy and he later got in trouble with the missionary department. He was bucking at getting a GA spot and that's all he cared about.

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Posted by: Master C ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 04:05PM

Your providing him with sexual imagery. Thats the same to me as him looking at porn. Thats all those bullshit intrusive questions are for. It's there way of safely looking at "smut."

I had a similar experience with a bishop. At least I went out and got laid, these perverts had to live through me.

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Posted by: Makurosu ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 04:14PM

I'm sure it was exactly as you imagined with him asking inappropriate questions of those young people. My mission president was a self-aggrandizing Mormon social climber but I don't think he was as bad as yours. You're lucky to have escaped. My mission president used to get me into interviews and say things like "The reason you're depressed is because you're not in full obedience to the commandments. The table is spread out before you - all that remains is for you to partake." What a mind job.

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Posted by: Rubicon ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 04:18PM

I should have cooked up a good raunchy story involving kitchen appliances, multiple partners, lots of KY Jelly, an air compressor, and duct tape.

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Posted by: Steven ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 04:42PM

him squirm as you gave a dramatized version of a major orgy-like experience, with "yes" admissions to all of his deep dark fantasy's. You could have had some fun with that.

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Posted by: Master C ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 04:25PM

your partner was the Mish Prez's wife.

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Posted by: Rubicon ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 07:50PM

Master C Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> your partner was the Mish Prez's wife.


I don't think so. I could be drunk as a skunk with huge beer glasses and I don't think it would happen. I do have limits. I'm not Bam Margera or one of his side kicks.

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Posted by: JBryan ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 05:46PM

Was his last name Jardine?

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Posted by: Crathes ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 06:48PM

OK, Rubicon - help me with the air compressor. I am obviously too old or too stupid to get that part.

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Posted by: Rubicon ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 07:47PM

Crathes Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> OK, Rubicon - help me with the air compressor. I
> am obviously too old or too stupid to get that
> part.


Lot's of fun tools that run off of air. Lower the pressure and add the right jelly atachment and you get the drift. Also, you can do kinky things with a Kitchen Aide mixer if you know what you are doing. LOL!

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Posted by: Anonymous User ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 07:54PM

You shoulda asked him what positions he uses with his wife!

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Posted by: flyfisher ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 08:41PM

My bish was pushing me for "details" one of the reasons I really started to see the light! I told him that instead of asking me what all I had done that the better question would be what haven't I done! I figured if he ever gets me back into his office that I was gonna really give him all the raunchy deatail! He would be so red faced that he would probably faint!

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Posted by: D the non-religious ( )
Date: October 25, 2010 09:06PM

The last four months of the miss-adventure were spent very close to the MP. We had weekly talks, about my smoking, drinking and what not that I was doing. I have to thank the guys I was living with, they friggin rocked. Understood me 100 percent and let me go my way. The last two months I wasn't allowed at member houses and pretty much was banned from the Columbia ward in Maryland.
Anywhoo, my exit interview consisted of I hope you have fun and are successful in life, because frankly the TSCC is not for you. Needless to say that is one of the most memorable MP interviews ever. He just looked at me and came out and said you don't fit in the church. He asked for my Temple recommend, I gave it too him, but went anyway for the last hurrah for the go homes.
That is my two cents on interviews.

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Posted by: orsonsplatt ( )
Date: October 26, 2010 03:00AM

I wish I had been a bit more like that. I was always trying so earnestly to be righteous.

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