Date: November 27, 2017 10:58AM
Thank goodness you are a male, and that your career gives you some credibility within your Mormon family. I'm a divorced single working mother (with an MBA), and never had church position higher than stake organist; therefore, no one in my family listened to my warnings about a family pedophile. They laughed at me, and thought the "dirty old man" relative was funny. He had molested me in childhood, and no one believed me. Pedophiles can be very manipulative and convincing, that the touching was "accidental", or that it was the victim's fault, etc. Two of those victimized nieces are in their thirties, and have never had boyfriends, and are in therapy.
You can always feel right, within yourself, for trying to help, but you can't change the world. Even though I was ridiculed and shunned for doing so, I'm glad I at least tried to help. What is most important is that you protect your OWN children.
I went to BYU, and to the University of Utah, and to a university in California. I was born in California, and grew up there. Never was I ever molested in California, but at BYU, I was assaulted, with an attempted rape, in Cannon Center at BYU, and escaped with only a broken arm, after some football players rescued me. I had an attempted date-rape, by an RM. I was "flashed" several times, walking to class early in the morning, on a deserted pathway. Coming home after a dance, on a double date, our car broke down in a snow storm. As instructed by our dorm, my double-date dorm friend and I called the campus police, and reported our plight, but they said they were too busy with others in the storm, and couldn't help us. We called my uncle, who had to dig out his car to come and get us, and take us to the dorm. We were 5 minutes late. No one would listen to our explanation. The campus police gave us no support. We were put before a student council, as though we had committed a crime, and ordered to clean the bathrooms in the dorm, for the entire month, every Saturday night. The cleaning had to be done between 7:00 pm and midnight, because no working on Sunday. My dorm mate and I made a horrible racket, getting the mops out of the cleaning closet, throwing the metal bucket down the hallway, bumping into the doors of the student council member and the dorm supervisor, singing loudly, and accidentally dropping the bucket down the garbage chute. No one said anything, but it made us feel better.
My biggest regret in life is that I stuck it out at BYU, when I didn't like it. The dorms were fun, and the dating, dances and parties, the skiing, but the classes were boring and most of the teachers were not inspiring. The oppressive cult atmosphere was depressing, over all. There was a lot of drama, rudeness (aside from the usual pranks), and cruel gossip. The girls were all "boy-crazy". There was a secret girls' club, which included some cheerleaders and flag-twirlers, a homecoming queen, and a runner-up to Miss America, who would run around the baseball field every night, and throw up on home plate. Bulimia was something that was popular. I was an athlete, and they used to get mad at me that I could eat anything I wanted. Our dorm section was considered to have the prettiest girls.
Most of the negative relationships and negative experiences in my life were with Mormons. The cult seems to be rampant with abuse towards women. My own little girl was molested at a ward camp-out, while she slept in her sleeping bag. She screamed, and there were witnesses, but the bishop made the kids promise not to tell, because it would ruin everyone's fun, and prevent future camp-outs. It was the bishop's creepy high school son, who was the perpetrator. He went on a mission, became elder's quorum president, got married in the temple, had three girls--and he molested them. By that time, we were long gone from the cult.
Reading you account of your nieces, I am so grateful to be out of all the drama and jealousy and victimization, that Mormon women have to cope with. I'm sure jealousy is a problem with your nieces, since they are so accomplished and beautiful. Yes--I know first-hand that there is a lot of "music-rivalry". I was a music minor in piano performance at BYU.
I'm also sorry that your niece works with Mormons. A great (and famous in Utah) mentor of mine told me in confidence (I will never reveal his name, because this is illegal) "Avoid doing business with Mormons." He was right. My own children have been successful in life, and they don't have to deal with Mormons, yet, they all live in Salt Lake City. It is possible.