[Originally, I had planned to tack this onto Boner's thread. See http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2048810
Then I started to think about how this event closely mirror's BYU's stupid honor code. I actually believe that the honor code prevented any sense of true justice or consequences. I have repressed this memory because it really affected me as a missionary and as a human being. It is true and accurate and I always change names. The power of the cult has really messed me up as I still have some anxiety in sharing this. I am putting my credibility on the line.]

In my MTC district, Elder Badger came from the PNW area. He immediately shocked us by bragging that the only reason he was serving a mission was part of his conditional probation of being convicted of sexually assaulting his girlfriend. He was a narcissistic, ego driven bully. He literally would attempt to physically intimidate anybody that threatened his power.

At the MTC, we had a rotating set of RM's though BYU as teachers that were our language teachers. One such teacher was a semi-naïve and somewhat timid sister. However, she was kind , generous and caring person. She had a short stature being petite and small. She was about 4'10" while Elder Badger was 6'4". When she learned that one of us was celebrating his 20th birthday, she went out of her way to bake a cake and have a small celebration. I thought that was wonderful. Elder Badger had other ideas about her. He was verbally abusive to her as he challenged her authority over and over again in class. Badger was nothing short of a walking asshole. She would share personal details in confidence to us and Badger would say things 100% inappropriate. She often left the room due to his curt and snide remarks. Later she would return after trying to recompose herself after crying. Badger would further the personal attack by telling her that she looked real pretty with her with tear streaked make up. This pattern repeated itself and I am still angry at myself for not speaking up sooner.

One evening, Elder Badger crossed the line when we he got downright physical with her. It started with him practicing the foreign language that we were supposed to be learning. He began his harassment by telling her to come sit on his lap. She ignored him so he tried again to beckon her to come sit on his lap. Badger began to cat call and whistle. He slapped his pant leg as if he was calling his dog. She continued to ignore him. Badger saw his chance as she walked by and he unexpectedly grabbed her waist while he was sitting in his desk chair (this was in our assigned MTC classrooms in the evening around 8-8:30 pm). Poor sister lost her balance and began to fall backwards. One of her shoes flew off as she tumbled across his thigh. A few of received a brief upskirt view as her skirt rode up to reveal her garments. As Badger pulled her closer to his chest, he tried to force her to give him a little kiss. It was horrifying to watch him control her. She immediately began to scream and push him away. She got away when he dropped her to the floor. She scrambled on the floor and crawled over to retrieve her shoe. She stood up and tried to regain her composure before she walked out of the MTC classroom. She never returned. A very tall elder that we called "Cowboy" stood up to restore order. I also stood up to confront Badger. We were the only two willing to confront this animal. Badger came after me (even though I was a big person not easy to physically move around). He started to push me in the chest hoping that I would throw the first punch. That caused Elder Cowboy to come from behind to back me up. Cowboy was so pissed that he told Badger to get his ass out of class or he was going to kick the holy shit out of him. So Badger left. We sat in silence for the remainder of the evening without a teacher.

The Fallout

That night both Cowboy and I collaborated the details of Badger's assault as we each wrote about the incident. This was easy to do as we both shared the same room in the dorm (two companions per room). It wasn't long before Badger came storming into our room to continue the fight. Again Cowboy and I stood up to his threats. Cowboy made it clear that even if he were to whoop his [Cowboy's] ass then he would still have to whoop Goop's ass. He left and returned to our room one more time. This time he apologized to us then tried to "sweet talk" his way out of the mess. We never told him that we had the entire incident well documented.

In the morning, we had one of the MTC presidents waiting for us inside the classroom. He was not pleased with our entire group. He informed us that our entire district of eight elders were unworthy to represent the lord. We were informed that each one of us was on probation until we left the MTC. He continued to remind us that the slightest rule infraction would get us on a van to the nearest airport, bus station or train station. We were then told to never discuss this incident again. It essentially was a gag order. (The power of this can not be easily dismissed because I have never shared this travesty with anyone until now. Not even my parents knew of these horrendous events.) Now Elder Cowboy was going to have his say as it appeared this entire incident was going to be conveniently swept under the rug. He stood up and began to tell the president that this was an unfair punishment to those that were not directly involved. He pulled out his letter to read his account of events and the MTC big wig walked over to shut him up. He raised up his hand to shush him and took the letter. Cowboy was asked to sit down and Cowboy obeyed. He then told everyone that the matter was closed. He tore up Cowboy's letter in front of us and stuffed it into sit suit pocket. He left the room and we were reminded by our MTC teacher that we would now be taught by only two male teachers. He looked over at Badger and told him firmly that he would not sit in his lap.

I still had my letter so I dutifully turned it into our local district president that came weekly to the MTC in order to oversee and preside over our MTC branch. Part of his job was to hold PPI's to determine missionaries' worthiness. The PPIs took up the bulk of our time on Sundays. I was not amused that my incident letter that had been mailed together with my weekly letter was nowhere to be found, but my mundane letter about growth in spirituality was on his desk. The incident report had obviously had been confiscated and destroyed. He lied about not knowing about the incident and then began to attack my own character and unworthiness. He had my companion's letter that bitched about me going alone in the dorm building to the vending room to make a nightly purchase of Barqs root beer. (I had a lot of problems with a reluctant companion that hated me and wouldn't talk to me, but that's another story) So I was then chastised for breaking mission rules about going alone anywhere at the MTC and then I was called to repentance over a so called "caffeine addiction". We would have many more Sunday interviews discussing why [caffeinated root beer] disturbed the holy ghost and why I had so many companion problems.

The MTC classroom incident was never discussed again even when Cowboy and I briefly served as companions in Texas. I had the misfortune of having Elder Badger following me around from zone to zone within the mission. I was grateful that we were never companions because we would have slugged it out. I never forgot about his assault on the teacher. Surprisingly, he stopped threatening me though. We boarded the same plane to leave Texas after both of us served a mission "honorably". He upgraded himself (unofficially) to an empty first class seat on our Delta plane ride to SLC. I never saw the pig again.

I have so many questions and comments that I scarcely know where to begin. That the MTC itself and the church would do so little to protect the young woman is appalling. I'd like to think they're smarter now, that they understand people -- even impressionable elders -- are neither so silent nor so compliant now as they once were, and that the MTC or church couldn't keep a story of this nature under a lid in such a manner.

Now we would hope that serving probation would be a roadblock to fulfilling a mission as opposed to a condition for fulfilling one. One never knows about such things out in the sticks of the Morridor, though.

I would also hope that, if a situation ever escalated to the point that a rogue elder, without consent, placed his hands on the body of anyone else -- much less a petite female -- the MTC leaders and the church would understand that the only logical course of action would be to boot the missionary-in-training back to his home jurisdiction and to the mercy of the court that supposedly sent him there as a makeshift reform school in the first place.

Perhaps, however, I give far too much credit. Maybe the very same sort of thing is happening in today's MTCs.

Pres Heber Badger was my SP in Seattle (60s), IDK any relationship or if you're using a pseudonym...

Oh that these jerks would be resolved strictly, I wish these stories were Absolutely Rare.

No relationship on the pseudonym. This was near the end of ETB's reign.

messygoop Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> At the MTC, we had a rotating set of RM's though
> BYU as teachers that were our language teachers.
> One such teacher was a semi-naïve and somewhat
> timid sister. However, she was kind , generous and
> caring person.

Which means that she was really terribly unsuitable to assume an authority figure role in the context of the MORmON cult.

> She had a short stature being
> petite and small. She was about 4'10" while Elder
> Badger was 6'4". When she learned that one of us
> was celebrating his 20th birthday, she went out of
> her way to bake a cake and have a small
> celebration.

Completely against the themes of stifling control that are supposed to prevail in the purposely abysmal and depressing MTC. .....Which means that she was really terribly unsuitable to assume an authority figure role in the context of the nasty dictatorial MORmON cult.


> I thought that was wonderful. Elder
> Badger had other ideas about her. He was verbally
> abusive to her as he challenged her authority over
> and over again in class. Badger was nothing short
> of a walking asshole.

The thing is that LDS inc thinks NOTHING of forcing normal decent people into close quarters pressure cooker working partnerships with psycho paths like Elder Badger, because hard is good according to MORmONISM so LDS Inc feels completely entitled to make things "better" for the individual by making things more difficult .....as opposed to making things better which would make the work go smoother. Then when things in the screwed up situation go full on hay wire, LDS inc throws their hands in the air and says A. who could have ever guessed that was going to happen B. there is proof that Satan is attacking our divine work !!!

.....stupid ass MORmONS !!!

> She would share personal
> details in confidence to us

I don't know exactly what that means but it sounds completely out of bounds in a MORmON context.

“I don't know exactly what that means but it sounds completely out of bounds in a MORmON context”

Actually, it’s completely normal. There are no boundaries in the cult. She felt safe at the MTC and probably loved it there. And was so traumatized she never went back.

MTC teachers had some strict guidelines at the time. Obviously, they had to be RMs and attending BYU. They were free to say that served the a successful mission, happily studying at BYU and loved their personal study of the scriptures. They had to end each teaching session by bearing their testimony.

We were not supposed to know:

-age
-marital status
-family life
-first name
-their address (swamped with doubting missionaries and problems)

So we knew a lot about this sister. We knew that she was engaged to a RM that had received a "dear john". We knew what she liked to do outside of church. We knew her age and first name. This didn't help that she had gone outside of the sacred "MTC" script.

It still doesn't excuse Badger's behavior or the church unwillingness to properly address the misconduct. I would like to say that Badger aspired to become AP and achieved it. He did not. I would think that the 5 of us that went to Texas arrived unmarred. However, I find it strange that zero out of the 5 from our "group" were worthy enough to serve in any leadership positions. Sure, I earned my way to the top of the MP's shit list and so did Badger. However, the other 3 should have served at least once as a lowly DL. Frankly, they did not.

messygoop Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> MTC teachers had some strict guidelines at the
> time. Obviously, they had to be RMs and attending
> BYU. They were free to say that served the a
> successful mission, happily studying at BYU and
> loved their personal study of the scriptures. They
> had to end each teaching session by bearing their
> testimony.
>
> We were not supposed to know:
>
> -age
> -marital status
> -family life
> -first name
> -their address (swamped with doubting missionaries
> and problems)
>
> So we knew a lot about this sister. We knew that
> she was engaged to a RM that had received a "dear
> john". We knew what she liked to do outside of
> church. We knew her age and first name. This
> didn't help that she had gone outside of the
> sacred "MTC" script.

That is EXACTLY what I was wondering about, but instead of jumping to a conclusion and on the matter, I noted that I was sure exactly what was going on. You then let me know.

In a MORmON cult context that is way out of bounds regardless of how human.


> It still doesn't excuse Badger's behavior or the
> church unwillingness to properly address the
> misconduct.

.....correct (CORRECT!!!!)

> I would like to say that Badger
> aspired to become AP and achieved it. He did not.
> I would think that the 5 of us that went to Texas
> arrived unmarred. However, I find it strange that
> zero out of the 5 from our "group" were worthy
> enough to serve in any leadership positions. Sure,
> I earned my way to the top of the MP's shit list
> and so did Badger. However, the other 3 should
> have served at least once as a lowly DL. Frankly,
> they did not.

interesting MTC and Mission field observations

> That is EXACTLY what I was wondering about, but
> instead of jumping to a conclusion and on the
> matter, I noted that I was sure exactly what was
> going on. You then let me know.

edit: was NOT sure

Babyloncansuckit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> “I don't know exactly what that means but it
> sounds completely out of bounds in a MORmON
> context”

said what I meant and meant what I said on that matter, messygoop's follow up response seems to abundantly back up the very thing that I was getting it.


> Actually, it’s completely normal. There are no
> boundaries in the cult.

ACTUALLY there are TONS of boundaries in the cult ....and rules that members are expected to strictly observe ......maybe you did not notice that

>She felt safe at the MTC
> and probably loved it there. And was so
> traumatized she never went back.

yah, Hell yah, that makes sense!!!!!!!!!!!!

“boundaries...”

Well, personal boundaries. People being in each other’s business if the leaders say so. If Simon Says rat out your friends, you do that too. Not that I really believe in boundaries or understand why they exist. Mostly I regard them as a personal problem worth not triggering. Call me a hippy doofus.

My guess is that this wasn't the end of Elder Badger's problems. Problems of that magnitude don't magically go away.

Curious why you and cowboy didn’t walk out and call the police?

Gatorman

I'm guessing it's because that's not how cults work. You never bring in the outside authority figures, you have to stay bound by the inside authority figures. To go outside the cult's authority is to disrespect the authority figures of the cult. Gotta keep the dirty laundry within the family.

The police in Provo would have backed up the Morg, not two elders making a report.

Good point.

It is possible that the sister would have denied the attack when interrogated by church leaders or an outside agency. She could have claimed that she tripped over her own feet. Maybe she claimed so out of embarrassment or perhaps she felt pressured by the church to deny the incident. The church has expertise in explaining "misunderstanding" in all kinds of manners.

It really bothered me that they left the sociopath alone given his previous activities. Maybe Elder Badger was some relative of a GA.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2017 12:39PM by messygoop.

Mormonism has a long history of protecting the guilty and condemning the innocent.

I had a companion who was in to fighting and hurting peolple before he went on his mission. He would brag about going on friday nights in to black parts of town and yelling racial slurs until he would end up surrounded by several blacks, and then beating them all up. He enjoyed violence and seemed to have a lot of experience at it. I detestd him and what he valued, and did my best to tolerate him and avoid conflict. He was a rule breaker, and didn't like my attempts to live the mission rules. I wasn't a fanatic and none of my other companions had issues with me.

One night he ended up slamming me up against a wall and held me there, daring me to hit him because he said he wanted to put me in the hospital. It was pretty freightening. Our district leaders were there and witnessed this and did nothing. I should have left and found the police right then. I wanted to keep the dirty laundry in-house (bad choice). The district leaders said that the mission president heard about it but was surprised that I put up with it since I was physically bigger than my companion was. He never talked about it to me. That companion went home with an honorable release.

The key to these power situations is to never be in a position where you can be hushed up. Calling the police immediately suddenly changes the dynamic. Never ask for permission, and then act shocked when told you should not have gone to the police.

Again, once something becomes public, they really aren't in a position to hush you up. Cat is out of the bag.

Elder Badger was a criminal and I agree with summer. I can't imagine that he didn't continue his criminal behavior. I also would guess that it eventually did catch up to him.

There were two California clowns in my district who were the missionary equivalent of Bevis and Butthead. Such bad memories.

On the lighter side -- my MTC companion was from Provo and could see his house from our top floor apartment window. He was a real sports fan and couldn't be without his sports scores -- he'd paid the local paper boy of his neighborhood to deliver the sports section under a bush at the back of the MTC. We picked it up every evening.

As for B&B, well they were just two of the a-holes that were fairly well documented in my "sacred" journal. I found that about 85% of what I wrote in my journal was gripes -- not very uplifting at all. I burned my journal a few years afterwards as a token to how much that mistake in my life plan meant to me.

I am sorry to hear that.

I was not the uptight uber righteous freak. I just thought people that are teaching a new language deserved respect. I also wrongly thought that the church would properly handle the incident.

What really appalls me is the tremendous family pressure and brainwashing that has taken place in the lives of such young men that they would allow such terrible behavior and manipulation to take place without making their own feelings known and simply waling out of the place. Even as a member I would never allow people such as these to walk all over my own feelings and self respect. .

Some 30 years ago, I stuck it out because I was more worried about the harsh judgment that would be directed at my parents for having an unfit missionary son, than any emotional damage that I might be subjected to from abusive leaders. My parents were converts and they felt that their actions were continuously monitored under the ward's microscope. They felt pressured to be super mormons as a way to fit in and try to impress these undeserving no-life busy-bodies. A very nice sister in my ward was a struggling single mother. She was treated horrendously by certain "ruling" members of my ward when her son returned home early due to a "law of chastity" violation. They treated her as if she had some moral form of leprosy. It caused her to stop attending. She suffered a nervous breakdown and my mother (as a friend and her VT) got involved to help her get some non-church counseling.

Thankfully, a missionary returning home is now perceived a bit more normal and not so much a big deal. There is a greater acceptance among members that a mission isn't for everyone.

Holy Crap, goop.
My MTC experience was quite tame compared to yours. My language group was mostly a bunch of confused, somewhat frightened kids like me who were trying to be "holy," and the "worst" that happened was our gossip about whether or not one of our instructors was gay (later confirmed -- he was and is, and is now a somewhat well-known mormon critical writer).

Thinking back, I wonder if I would have raised the alarm about the Badger, or gone along with the "leaders." I honestly don't know. And I find that very sad...'cause now I'd raise bloody hell about it.

Words fail me. Sadly, the ongoing stream of reports of sexual abuse in the media during the past several months tells us that physical and sexual abuse is a pervasive problem in all of American society.

It hides physical and sexual abuse when it serves their interest, the LDS church may also advocate illegal, abusive behavior as a remedy. During General Conference in 1976 (To Young Men Only), BKP advocated physical violence against companions if they were homosexual and made overtures to a companion:

"...physical mischief with another man is forbidden. It is forbidden by the Lord. There are some men who entice young men to join them in these immoral acts. If you are ever approached to participate in anything like that, it is time to vigorously resist. While I was in a mission on one occasion, a missionary said he had something to confess. I was very worried because he just could not get himself to tell me what he had done. After patient encouragement he finally blurted out, "I hit my companion." "Oh, is that all," I said in great relief. "But I floored him," he said. After learning a little more, my response was "Well, thanks. Somebody had to do it, and it wouldn't be well for a General Authority to solve the problem that way." I am not recommending that course to you, but I am not omitting it. You must protect yourself."

One would hope that the LDS church would hold itself to a higher standard. Sadly, it didn't, and it still doesn't.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2017 12:51PM by gordongrant.

about what you and cowboy wrote down and what had transpired.

Others have questioned why you didn't go to the police, etc. Well, they weren't there. They aren't you. You did the right thing by standing up for the teacher against badger. That is the most important thing you did.

You never know what the fallout is going to be when you report. I reported something once and it came back to haunt me.

***Unlike the Badger incident, this one has less details. I will leave it to you as to what may or may not have been going on***

This occurred about 3 weeks after the Badger incident. It did not involve Badger or anybody else from my probationary district. It was early morning in one of the MTC dorms. I think we (my district) were on the third floor. I woke up hearing some ungodly screams coming from the communal bathroom on my floor. I needed to urinate and put on my robe to walk across the hallway (We were told that any person walking around in his garments outside of his room was a major TEMPLE violation; so we were told to use a bathrobe or pajamas to cover up our garments at all times).

The walk was short, but there were two elders standing by the entrance in their bath robes. The screaming continued as I approached. They had their backs to me with their arms extended across the door-less entry. I said "Excuse me. I need to pee." One guy turned and raised his arm to further block me. He told me to go somewhere else because this one was busy. The other guy screamed "Get out of here. Go use another one on a different floor." About that time I saw two elders in robes pulling a third one by his ankles. The guy being dragged was completely naked. I noticed that there were more elders at the other bathroom entrance; probably acting as lookouts.

I really had to pee so I went down a floor. When I returned, the bathroom was empty. However, one of my district buddies was standing outside of his room. He was one of the 3 guys going to serve in Florida.

"What's all that about? I heard all types of screaming and yelling. It woke me up, but all I saw was a group of 8 or more guys running from the bathroom."

I told him that I didn't know and it was best if we didn't say anything to anybody. I think it was some sort of hazing prank being done by a group of elders from a different dorm. They weren't from our floor.

Added:

In the early 1990s, the MTC communal bathrooms for elders had two "shower trees" as the centerpiece of the room. It also had sets of toilets and urinals on each flank. A row of continuous sinks and mirrors stretched along the wall. It was most unpleasant. There was no privacy. While you were showering alone or as a group, the guy at the sink could eyeball your junk. If you were at the throne, the guy at the sink could also see you sitting pretty. There were no doors on the toilets, but a metal partition that had TP dispensers.

Many elders (myself included) arose much earlier than 6 AM in an attempt to have a smidgen of privacy while showering or using the toilet.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2017 03:18PM by messygoop.

This thread reminds me of the story of one of my wife's close friends.

She was an active church member and married into a prominent LDS family for the area in which they lived (east coast of the U.S.). A few years after her daughter was born she caught her father-in law sexually molesting her daughter. Being a faithful and "proper" LDS woman, she contacted her Bishop about the abuse and assumed it would be dealt with both through the church and through legal means. Sadly she was told to forget about the issue as it was his word against hers (the daughter was only 3 years old at the time), and it was "not worth ruining an otherwise good man's reputation". She was justifiably angry and began to make a lot of noise about it, contacting the Stake President and counsellors, trying to let others know about what happened. She was called into the Stake President's office and threatened with ex-communication if she did not stop smearing the name of a Priesthood holder (yes, that is what she was told). She eventually contacted the police on her own, and although they could not obtain sufficient evidence to charge her father-in law, she was able to obtain a restraining order against him. Her and her husband divorced, and she formally resigned from the church after she received a letter inviting her to a church court. The father-in law made a rather large financial donation to the church in a successful effort to protect his image and church standing. He is currently is a temple worker, and my wife's friend has had nothing to do with the church for over a decade now.

You should have kicked the guy's ass. Not just allow the lady to be molested like that.

I would have slugged him with all I had! and I would have contacted the media! Even better, I would have walked out of the MTC and gone to the cops!