Date: November 25, 2017 10:17PM
Sociopaths and psychopaths are not as smart as they think they are. I had two in my family. One conned my father and uncles out of thousands of dollars. I was afraid my children would become his victims, but my children clever enough to detect his stupid lies and boasting, from an early age. The other was a pedophile, and I had to avoid him completely, and keep my children away from him, at all cost. Sometimes we didn't attend family parties, if he was there.
I highly recommend avoidance. How much do you enjoy your volunteer groups? There are lots of other volunteer opportunities, I'm sure, or you could donate money instead of time, and pursue your own hobbies and interests.
You said that this woman has mistreated others, too, and I'll bet you that your volunteer groups can see through her. So, don't worry. If she bad-mouths you to others, she will only hurt herself further. If others believe her lies about you, then you don't want to be in that volunteer group, anyway. Likewise, her husband (your husband's boss) certainly knows she's a sociopath, after being married to her, and he won't pay attention to anything she says against you or your husband.
Be patient. Sociopaths always shoot themselves in the foot! Granted, it takes more time than you would ever want to spend with them, but it always happens. Look at what happened to Joseph Smith, in the end.
BTW, it does no good to warn others, but in my case, I felt a moral obligation to protect my children and my family members. Some of them laughed at me. Others got angry. Still, I felt better--and my own children avoided being hurt by them--which was most important, anyway.
The con-man sociopath cornered me at a family reunion this summer, blasting lies (and bad-breath) in my face, as I walked around the room, said hello to other people, trying to shake him off. I wasn't mean--I just gave him what I call the "black-hole" treatment. I wasn't there. I stared off into space, and never made eye contact. I didn't say anything bad or anything good--just--nothing--maybe a mumble. This is not the "silent treatment" which is being mean. Finally, I ducked into the bathroom, and stayed there for a long time. When I opened the door, he was still there, waiting for me! Sociopaths do NOT get the hint!
What was good, was that he didn't get any information out of me, about my family or my self. He couldn't argue or try to sell me anything, because I wasn't responding. He couldn't make me look bad, because I was not being mean or rude. He couldn't hurt me, because I knew he was "bad weather", like MCR says. (I loved MCR's answer, BTW.) No one--not even a psychiatrist--can cure a sociopath. Don't even try to teach them a lesson, or change them, or punish them.
Head phones work better than earbuds, because they are easily seen. The Mormons kept coming over into my yard, when I was gardening, or going to the mailbox, to tell me to read the BOM, or to try to find out my children's addresses, etc. It bothered me, so I put on headphones. Often, my i-pod wasn't even turned on. I just wanted peace. Being on the cell phone is a good idea, too, and I often do that at the grocery store, to avoid the snarky Mormon shunners. I keep my grocery list on there.
There's nothing wrong with being busy, running late for an appointment, in a hurry, having something cooking on the stove, needing to return a phone call, and a thousand other normal, everyday things you have a right to be doing. That woman won't get the hint, but she will definitely lose interest! A black-hole is boring, it is nothing, and nothing effects it. She will move on to her next victim.