There's been some doubt expressed by certain armchair internet psychologists, concerning the fluxuating statements and moods exhibited by certain other posters.

Those who enjoy pointing out these fluctuations are entirely ignorant on the subject, at it's most basic levels. Those who would criticize a sufferer, must be advised that they are merely displaying their own ignorance, while inflicting additional harm on already compromised individuals. Know it or not, they are the "adult" version of school-yard bullies who would pick on the kids in wheelchairs.

Here's the basics of the effects on the brain, but feel free to Google the subject to discover the depths of ingnorance from which the bullies have been operating. They ridicule and lose patience with that pain which they themselves have not suffered, have never had to recover.

http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/articles/reexperiencinghyperaroused-and-dissociative-states-posttraumatic-stress-disorder

I would suggest that the bullies themselves Google "dissociation," but I suspect that they much prefer the feeling of superiority experienced in their naming this illness' well-documented symptoms as "lying."

Should they think it possible that they don't have degrees in the field, and come to understand that reality is unique to individuals, not merely the limited scope of the bullies' experiences in life, they will also understand the public mea culpa that is well past due from them.

Shame on them. Shame for not caring enough to look it up, and from ignorance, having behaved so abominably. Shame on them for making the effort to critque a thing in which they have no training or experience. Shame on them for reaching for harm, rather than understanding.

It's just beyond their comprehension how deeply wounding abuse might be. Lucky them.

I'm sorry, but I think you're confusing RfM with a PTSD site. There are plenty of them out there that would be happy to deal with those issues. This is a board about mormonism. Not about PTSD. Not about vitamin deficiencies. Not about medical issues, unless it's a poster within mormonism that has medical issues. This board has been hijacked from its intended purpose.

StillAnon,

It's not your call. Why don't you take a break from reading any posts that offend you and spend some time contributing on Exmormon topics that you feel passionate about. I think it would be more beneficial for the board to hear about your personal experiences than it would for them to see you picking on other posters.

CZ (admin)

That's fair. How about you getting this board back on track? You're losing long term members by allowing this to become a Dear Abby whining board. Think about a first time visitor that's looking for a safe harbor to leave mormonism. In the past 3 months this would not be a place that they would want to land.
People in real need of good advice don't want to see all this off tangent drama.

Not sure what personal mormon-related experiences StillAnon could give us, since he's never been a mormon:

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2039029,2039153#msg-2039153

On a different note, why is the OP titled "YHWH" when the text is about PTSD? Seems kind of misleading…

Sorry. Why did you create a new name to post this? I've been here for 10 years and live in the heart of mormondumb. You?

"I regret not screenshotting the address of the poster who is enjoying so much attention here. The next time he threatens to kill himself or his dad or whatever I could have just called his hometown sheriff and sent them to his door so he could get the help he needs without the moderators of RfM having to be involved."



And that's my issue. Every time this guy threatens to harm people or himself, half this board rushes to placate him. Which is his intent. He doesn't take heartfelt advice, he creates more drama. And people here are either falling for it or leaving. This is destroying the purpose of this board. To deal with issues impacting them from mormonism.

We all know OP is really "badassadam".

AnonFromColoradoSprings Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> We all know OP is really "badassadam".

No, we do not know this.

then why are you anon ?

It ain't me most people should be smart enough to know i could not come up with all of that, especially with the link. I am not computer savy at all. But if you guys want to think i am that smart then that is fine with me.

BAA has really made me put RfM on the backburner. Exmormon red-dit today reminds me of how RfM used to be...witty, wise, and closely follows Mormon happenings.

:/

When i was in the church mormons called me a destroyer right to my face.

Get out of here dude you are now picking on another PTSD victim from mormonism. You are a sick dude. Ten years is long enough to be recovered get out of here. Picking on me is one thing but picking on someone else is a whole nother ball game. Told my neighbor to keep an eye open for old guys that he did not recognize just in case you show up when i am not at home.

Waa. You're the "badass" Right? Why do you need your neighbor to help?

I am disabled i don't hurt people right now.

He is the real badass.

And you are a never-mo? You have literally just lost all weight to any argument. I have more right to be here then you i am a BIC or whatever you call someone born in the covanent, i have insane experience within the church even with all my issues i could help more people then you could one day because i know how hard it is for an abuse victim to leave the organization. It is the hardest thing someone could ever do especially if there is trauma to superiors. And you really think it is god's church.

"I have more right to be here then you i am a BIC or whatever you call someone born in the covanent, i have insane experience within the church even with all my issues i could help more people then you could one day because i know how hard it is for an abuse victim to leave the organization."

You have more rights than others? Isn't that your major bitch with the church? Until you understand the hypocrisy of your post, you're lost.

As a never Mo you have no standing to judge badassadam for what he battles.

For whatever reason brings you to RfM, having been a Mormon is not one of them.

If you won't listen to others at least take Concrete Zipper's advice. Read other posts if you find adams and others like his disagreeable to you.

That's a win win for you and for others.

This board isn't really adequate to deal with such issues -- especially if they're severe and ongoing. That's the nature of this board and the nature of those who are here trying to help. When the issue is chronic and long lasting, all the generosity of the posters here trying to help will soon be exhausted. We're not PTSD professionals. Expecting us to be is asking too much.

You've summed it up better than I. Thanks. This board is losing its focus due to a few posters. Almost like the Russians using our social media to influence our politics.

Some posters here have alluded to Mormonism itself causing their PTSD.

Religious PTSD. For them, that is part of their recovery. Not everyone is traumatized by Mormonism. Be glad if you are one of them.

True, this isn't a recovery site for PTSD. As ex-Mormons though there is no "one size fits all."

If someone were here with a severe disability should they be treated any differently because they suffer with something others don't have?

A little kindness goes a long way in helping others feel welcome. Someday it may be you on that receiving end.

I didn't find any indication in the original post that s/he was looking for therapy...only for understanding. If PTSD was a result of experiences in TSCC, then the poster should feel free to discuss the issue whether someone else feels this is within board parameters or not. If you're not interested or disagree, don't read the post.

There is comorbidity. Such as one could genuinely have PTSD plus be a manipulative, often lying, narcissist at the same time.

Aquarius123 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There is comorbidity. Such as one could genuinely
> have PTSD plus be a manipulative, often lying,
> narcissist at the same time.


This is a valid observation.

In what way does your response address *your* behavior? I would definitely call it anon-responsive. Defend, evade, but really, what say you about your behavior?

And, there you go, thinking that exmos who cannot turn off a particular illness deserve abuse rather than guidance and support. Bully them into leaving. Do you have a list of the illnesses allowed here? Brain tumor or death, check. Mental illness? No way!

Sounds just like the method LDS uses to handle LGBTQ issues:

"No one has PTSD at RfM!"

"No mental illness illnesses tolerated here, comrades!"

Ahhh.... now who is not being honest? It may have escaped you that Eric, some other mods and other long-time posters have been supportive and encouraging to the poster. You on the other hand, have exercised little self-control in clicking on his threads and being abusive, doing everything in your power to trigger a hormonal brain flood. ...Oh, that's right. You took time to look up nothing. It can take years to rfm but add in horrible physical abuse, and you are clueless how to respond appropriately. So you act out.

Eric has not asked the poster to leave, while you, in full control of your faculties, try to evoke that very thing, using every hateful word at your dispisal. *Double-bind much?*

You don't care if the mod has delete your abuse. Just so long as the kick met its mark, you are temporarily sated.

Really. Why pick on the mentally ill? WTF.

No one is obligated to respond to anyone, especially if ill-will is all they have to offer, and to my knowledge, Eric has not sent anyone an invoice for bandwith.

Now it's you saying who is welcome and who is not, and when Eric doesn't respond accordingly, you take the matter into your own hands. And you have the gall to change the subject here from having been abusive to "the purpose of the site." I don't think it would be to abuse those who have illnesses you do not understand. Maybe you want to beat the illness out of him. Tell him to just get over it.

Those who wish to respond and be supportive are free to do so. Holding everyone to your standards of just how ill they must *not* be to be worthy of support - there's an issue for you. Were no one supporting him, he would not return, so whose behavior is it, really, you seek to control? A: Those who would support him. The rest of us.

Abuse is abuse. Gaslighting is gaslighting. Who gaslights whom in this situation? And which one of you has the greater accountibility?

Lots of people were trying to help him. I'm not sure he was getting the kind of help he needs here. He probably should be helped in an environment where he doesn't get any freewheeling feedback. It's clear that he's not able to take in disagreement nor pushback. I don't think this kind of bulletin board can work such that he can thrive here. And his threats on a regular basis to kill himself is just not sustainable, for him, or those trying to help.

Edit to add, if it's pushing his buttons that deeply, it's not a good place for him to be.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/20/2017 07:48PM by Devoted Exmo.

I have thought the same thing Devoted Exmo, and have gone so far as to search for a PTSD exmo support board. No luck. The issues specific to mormonism, check. Issues specific to PTSD, check. But for him, those issues are interwined, and I'm of a mind that this board fills in some gaps from his nevermo therapy. Sort of like a run-on session, where there was no comprehension (on counselor's part) of what was triggered in therapy, he comes here to work out. Those things might embarrass him in front of a nevermo.

A nevermo therapist may not know the language or references, but nod knowingly, because that's her profession. She would have to come here, or a board like it, to even communicate with him.

So he's stuck with us, including those who use derogatory terms to describe mental illness.

I also agree about the threats to harm and self-harm. On PTSD boards, those are verboten. I just don't agree with a lack of tolerance, especially, from a long-timer.

I've been posting here for three years, and even have been complimented by the aggressor. One reason I don't use my login moniker is because of those who stalk those they take a disliking to. That gives the protagonist of this thread, at least, more moxey than I own.

I guess it boils down to patience and compassion. They cost so little, here in cyberland. We give what we can, help in that we are able. Do no harm.

Thanks, everyone, for your reasoned responses.

How is anyone supposed to know your mood or psychological conditions unless you tell them?
Are we just supposed to assume everyone here has PTSD? or everyone here is mentally ill? If so what mental illnesses are we supposed to assume?

There has been a torrent of random posting about such things as celebrity deaths, head transplants, religions other than Mormonism, baristas, off topic current events, etc...

So people do seem to be in a weird mood around here...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/20/2017 08:07PM by isthechurchtrue.

isthechurchtrue Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There has been a torrent of random posting about
> such things as celebrity deaths, head transplants,
> religions other than Mormonism, baristas, etc...

I posted about David Cassidy dying because I thought it would be of O/T interest to a substantial number of people here who grew up with the "Partridge Family"...and it never occurred to me that anyone would think this was out of line.

So far as religions other than Mormonism go, it has always been my observation that this is, for many people, very much On Topic for exmormons, who are recreating their exmormon lives either with (or without) religion, or specific religions...

...which includes, first and foremost in my opinion, Judaism (since the LDS Church claims that their members are, in fact, members of the different Jewish tribes, and that the LDS Church has restored Jewish temple worship).

This same general subject also often applies in comparisons of tithing...concepts of the afterlife (or not)...ethics and morals..."community service" in comparison with "repairing the world"...paid or unpaid clergy, etc., etc., etc.

We have also had many discussions here about Jehovah's Witnesses, New Thought religions (including their possible, actual, historical effects on Joseph Smith's creations, and this also, to my mind, applies to Hinduism as well), Catholicism/Christian Orthodoxy, the various Protestant religions, Islam, Buddhism, Zoroastrianism, etc. In many discussions of Mormon beliefs, as contrasted with "other" beliefs or philosophies, these other world religions often play an important part.

It has been my experience on this board that the above, non-Mormon, discussion topics are very much On Topic for exmormons in general and an exmormon recovery board in particular.


> So people do seem to be in a weird mood around
> here...

This is not my impression.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/20/2017 08:30PM by Tevai.

It is interesting that the posters complaining here about off topic posts have started a combined 2 threads in the last 30 days - one of which was about a book about NPD and PTSD. So they complain about OT posts, but make virtually no effort to start threads that are about Mormonism.

These posts have been around as long as I.have been here and I find many of them interesting. If I dont, I dont open the threads. Problem solved.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/21/2017 12:43AM by bona dea.

Waaaaaay too complicated !!!!

I agree with the RFM administrators, who let "mentally ill" people post, along with all of the rest of us "perfectly normal" folks. (Yes, this is sarcasm.) Who can judge someone else to me "mentally ill", anyway? I don't recall any posters on this board being out of touch with reality, which is a sign of schizophrenia or other true psychoses. Being neurotic is not the same as being psychotic. Having phobias does not warrant the label of "mentally ill." Neither does PTSD.

I have PTSD from child abuse and torture, plus a 14-month marriage to a wife-beater who beat me every day, and put me in the hospital, and almost killed me. This was a horror, that "broke" me. I still haven't regained my former vibrancy, spirit, and courage, but the screaming nightmares, and nausea, and the panic attacks are very few and far between. PTSD can be helped. I'm in therapy. It also helps to avoid the triggers. First of all, the triggers need to be identified. Once I know what is really going on with my fear, I can handle it. This is real, psychiatrist diagnosed PTSD, from the unimaginable torture of a little girl, similar to that the men in combat experienced. I died many times over, and that does something to your soul.

Anyway, please don't take PTSD lightly. Perhaps there is religion-induced PTSD, for some people, but I don't know about that--except that my abusers were Mormons in good standing, and were condoned and abetted and enabled by Mormon scriptures and the Mormons themselves. They both went free to continue to abuse others, after me. I saw no justice. I was not "worth" having justice served.

OK--sorry I get emotional sometimes. I really do live a normal life, except for venting on RFM sometimes. I'm able to have successful career, and am a good mother to my children, etc. I'm a happy person--especially after leaving Mormonism!

My point is that no matter who the Original Poster is--even if they are struggling, whining, complaining, swearing in anger, not learning anything, arguing, etc.--the replies from fellow RFM posters are very worthwhile! I can see people trying to help someone! People on RFM care! A poor soul is crying out, and wanting to kill themselves--and people are responding with concern and sympathy! This gives me a warm feeling, on those dark nights, when I'm in pain (I have a chronic disease) or have had a nightmare.

We ALL are benefitting from the help and advice that the "whining" posters receive!

Keep up the good work, RFM.

BTW, PTSD is real.

Yes. It's real for me as well. I've been held down and gang raped in a frat house as well as beaten almost to death by a Mormon who continues to pontificate on this board like he's an Elder Statesman or something. The news lately is really disturbing to me.
I regret not screenshotting the address of the poster who is enjoying so much attention here. The next time he threatens to kill himself or his dad or whatever I could have just called his hometown sheriff and sent them to his door so he could get the help he needs without the moderators of RfM having to be involved.
Problem solved.

Sorry, posted this in the wrong place. Meant to be here. Thanks.

"I regret not screenshotting the address of the poster who is enjoying so much attention here. The next time he threatens to kill himself or his dad or whatever I could have just called his hometown sheriff and sent them to his door so he could get the help he needs without the moderators of RfM having to be involved."



And that's my issue. Every time this guy threatens to harm people or himself, half this board rushes to placate him. Which is his intent. He doesn't take heartfelt advice, he creates more drama. And people here are either falling for it or leaving. This is destroying the purpose of this board. To deal with issues impacting them from mormonism.

And how do all of your posts on this subject help anyone "deal with issues impacting them from mormonism"?

Just give it up and don't read any of his posts.

Yes, PTSD is real. Self-diagnosing yourself with so-called "PTSD from what the Mormon church is doing" however is simply dumb and an insult to those people who actually suffer from real mental illnesses.

AnnonToday Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yes, PTSD is real.

> Self-diagnosing yourself with
> so-called "PTSD from what the Mormon church is
> doing" however is simply dumb...

Self-diagnosis is often the first step to getting appropriate help---from professionals (if a person is fortunate enough to have adequate medical insurance), or from other appropriate sources which can help (but do not require medical insurance).

> ...and an insult to
> those people who actually suffer from real mental
> illnesses.

I think you are disputing your first point above, that "PTSD is real."

If you, yourself, do (or do not) consider PTSD to be "real mental illness" then that is fine, but this particular personal opinion of yours does not, and should not, affect anyone other than yourself.

Self-diagnosis is not an "insult" to ANYONE!!!

"Physician, heal thyself!" (I read that somewhere.)

((((Siobhan)))

Hurt.
This is a place to exchange information and vent to a degree. Yes, we should be respectful of each other.
Many mentioned to just close or not reply to a post, if it is not for you.
I would imagine if someone had a serious problem apparent here, the people in there real world already know that.
Agree, people say mean and hurtful things.
Suggest if someone really judged you, let the moderator know. You should not have to tolerate that.
I have no problem with whiners or whatever you call them. I think they have a genuine need, we can see ourselves, and in responding to them, we all help ourselves.
If you are not up to it, someone else is.
Basically it should relate to m, somehow, in the smallest way.
M changes your head, it changes how you perceive people. You have lost an innocence and will be scarred. It even destroys relationships, families. Kills people.
As for physical health, is mental health, we all have a share of our physical and mental problems.We tend to them. It is an honor for me to read thank you or rofl, to something I may have said.
Just as they helped me 20+y, I hope to do the same.
Peace out.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/20/2017 09:49PM by itzbeen20.

I have been on and off this site in various incarnations for 20 years. I'm also a nevermo.

While I can't really understand the trauma being a member of TSCC and the struggle to wrest oneself free from its abusive grip, I have observed a number of posters go through the process.

It seems to me that many of those who have escaped TSCC have a tender spot for those going through the struggle.

In the time the poster in question has been on this site, I have seen behavior from said poster that I find manipulative and exploitative of many of the kind people on this site. I don't think the person in question is aware of what he's doing to others on the board. Or maybe he knows but his need for attention or reassurance is so great it trumps basic civility.

As a nevermo, I believe my observation of poster's behavior is free from the emotional residue some actual ex-mormons may still feel when faced with the plight of the poster being discussed.

Poster is not being fair and is not hearing the message of those who have identified his behavior as unfair.

Anyone who posts on this forum takes risks, and that includes pushback from others.

Is this forum the healthiest place for some people, especially those who are in early stages of various kinds of mental illnesses? Possibly not. It may be a place where they are triggered.

Hopefully they bring big heavy baggage to their therapist and discuss things with them, assuming they are getting professional help.

RfM isn't a place where there is a guarantee that people will be coddled, or have their opinions and posts respected. It's a place where people can expect to be challenged. And that is healthy.

RfM can be rough for many reasons. Those reasons are valid.

I have a loved one who suffered from PTSD. She knows what triggers her, and has, and continues to learn, what situations to avoid.


Again, people are here at their own risk.
Do I find some of Adam's posts manipulative and exploitive? Yes I do. Is that his intention? I have no idea. He is getting professional help, which is good. Is coming to RfM a healthy choice for him right now? I don't know. Perhaps he needs to discuss that with his therapist.

I do find myself tired of tossing around his being disabled often. I don't know why he does it. As a way of trying to explain something? Or sympathy seeking? I really don't know.

I have had a high degree of physical disability since I was a small child and I am well into my 50's now. So I understand the frustration he feels about having a disability and the limitations it brings, but I won't coddle him over it. Maybe he is a "newbie" when it comes to having a physical disability, and hasn't made the transition yet. I don't know. But I personally find it getting old. There are a lot of us with disabilities in our culture.

Again, I don't know his intentions. I don't know if RfM is really a helpful place for him. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. If it is helpful, then he should expect pushback from time to time.

ALL of us should expect pushback from time to time.
And push back is not abuse.

Coddling may at times be abuse... Further deponent sayeth not.

We can be fairly certain that the deleted posts were deemed violations of board rules by the mods. A couple of the deleted responses, the ones I saw, all I can say is good call by the mods.

I agree that online venues are not a place for "coddling," though many have been and will continue to be "coddled" on this recovery board, as that "enabling" is granted based on personality. No one who has lived with someone who has PTSD will say that the sufferer has a magnetic personality, and those who live with PTSD patients get burned out quickly, usually, in under a year.

Friends' and family members' burn out does not stop the symptoms for the sufferer, and a type of shunning occurs until the sufferer either modifies his or her behavior (hides the symptoms), leaves, or is left. We are seeing burn out here. There is an expectation that badass "stop whining" or go away; that expectation assumes that he can "cure" the condition on demand. People who experience emotional pain from "normal" life events can and will return to their "proper" selves, usually in about a year.

Go figure.

Recovering from PTSD takes much longer. Badassadam has PTSD and is recovering from Mormonism. I wouldn't have an expectation that he could limit his board activity to just the mormon aspects. His recovery from mormonism will include PTSD, and vice versa.

I trust the mods to delete posts in violation, no matter whom writes them. If you see them before the mods, Report. To my knowledge, "whining" is not a violation, or this board would not exist, or at least, not be very helpful. In short, it is not that badass "whines," but that he hasn't stopped, according to "our" internal (and group) schedules.

"Friends' and family members' burn out does not stop the symptoms for the sufferer, and a type of shunning occurs until the sufferer either modifies his or her behavior (hides the symptoms), leaves, or is left. We are seeing burn out here. There is an expectation that badass "stop whining" or go away; that expectation assumes that he can "cure" the condition on demand. People who experience emotional pain from "normal" life events can and will return to their "proper" selves, usually in about a year."

I'm willing to bet that over time, the people who frequent this board will behave the same way as the "friends and family members" you outlined above. It's already happening. How does that help the situation or the dynamic? It doesn't do any good to suggest that everyone be endlessly offering helpful suggestions and a sympathetic ear until the "proper self" is returned to. Again, we're not PTSD professionals. That's an expectation that is too great.

Devoted Exmo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Friends' and family members' burn out does not
> stop the symptoms for the sufferer, and a type of
> shunning occurs until the sufferer either modifies
> his or her behavior (hides the symptoms), leaves,
> or is left. We are seeing burn out here. There is
> an expectation that badass "stop whining" or go
> away; that expectation assumes that he can "cure"
> the condition on demand. People who experience
> emotional pain from "normal" life events can and
> will return to their "proper" selves, usually in
> about a year."
>
> I'm willing to bet that over time, the people who
> frequent this board will behave the same way as
> the "friends and family members" you outlined
> above. It's already happening. How does that
> help the situation or the dynamic? It doesn't do
> any good to suggest that everyone be endlessly
> offering helpful suggestions and a sympathetic ear
> until the "proper self" is returned to. Again,
> we're not PTSD professionals. That's an
> expectation that is too great.


I don't believe I stated any expectations of board members, rather, addressed the expectations they might have of badass. The solution is simple. If dsintetested or burnt out, whatever the case may be, don't open his threads. That does not require the skill of a PTSD expert., merely self-awareness and self-control. Creating hostile responses to him requires the greater effort and clean-up for all concerned.

And then I ask again, how does that help Adam?

We are each responsible to help ourselves, including badass. If he finds support from those willing to offer support, it is for him to decide if it is helpful, not anyone else.

You seem to be trying to make a point that perhaps I'm not grasping.

Encouraging him to hang onto cyberspace people and not to stop it and get more into the real world is not helping or doing him any favors. It hinders his progress and makes it easy for him to avoid doing difficult real world things that he really needs.IMHO



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/21/2017 08:41AM by Aquarius123.

What is YWHW?

RfM has been a huge help for me the last 5 months. I have literally lost my mind over the crap of JS and TSCC I have heard and read. I felt so alone with the feelings of despair losing a huge part of my religious life. I did not know how to go on. Then, I found this place where numerous other ex-mos reside.

BAA probably over rants sometimes. Maybe he should take a vacation from RfM for awhile and regroup. RfM seems to be a trigger for him to go off the deep end, so to speak. I do understand where he is coming from in the respect of being abused in the church and nobody doing anything about it. We just have to keep going. Lucky for some they get therapy. RfM is my therapy place.

YWHW means God, in Hebrew.

Thanks, Amyjo. You are full of insight and wisdom. I enjoy your posts.

Ah thanks.

Bach atcha. :)

Can't be in unsafe space.
While one can obviously just not read a thread with an unsafe sounding topic, one can be surprised when an unsafe thing jumps out midthread ... for me things about. Well you all know I don't need to restate it.

And clearly,
Clearly my writing style badly bothered one long time board exmo who admonished all to strive for activevlistening style posts, and to cease all sharing of narrative, or exploring of experiences inside and outside of the church as related to the topic....

I think my writing has got lots more focused than say 14 years ago when I couldn't separate voice and shifted vernacular speech patterns mid sentences. You see writing differs from talking, in person you'd never know it, but writing invites a free association or internal dialogs between past & present, making known catch 22s internalized or crystallized between some young womens,lesson and primary manual. That s why this board matters. Id,say it was a gazing ball or reflecting glass for divination all these ideas and experiences & folks that express them, are such a learningvpkace a healing place an integration of new ideas surpassing being bypass Mormon harms led by posters .

I think I need a magazine that I can write for, instead I seem to do shorts. I'll edit.

Oh and btw off topic, my rhyme and rhythm isn't ptsd actually it's 40 years in seeking rhythm rhyme syncopattion between syllables staying on topic. It sounds,better out loud. I Need a place to publish & that s not here

and I want to be safe and in a safe space. I can read thread titles & I do not read titles that talk about unsafe acts that I know make me uncomfortable- then I can chose not read it. However when a random dangerious statement mid thread jumps out of the blue- not specific at all to the posters original topic, that really surprised me last week.

clearly my writing style ( & annecdotes or commentary) badly bothered an old poster, who invited all board posters to utilize active listening and cease writing shared Mormon experiences, experiences outside Mormon groups, noticing how catch 22s in Mormonism influences ones life and giving anecdotes or personal narrative.

Personally, I know my writing has gotten lots more focused than say 14 years ago when I couldn't separate voice and shifted vernacular grammar vocab speech patterns mid sentence or mid paragraph. What you may not know is this only occurs in writing, if we were talking in person you'd never know. But writing differs from talking, it clarifies invites a free association or internal dialog between past and present on the topic presented... making known formerly unknown catch 22s internalized in primary crtystalized in relief society argued with vehemently moving forward.

That's why this board matters. Its like a learning place offering integration of new ideas bridges to trial runs surprises surpassing bypassing Mormon past led by posters.

maybe I should be writing shorts on a blog, or rhymed paragraphs with rhythmic syllables in a magazine instead of here-

It doesn't have to be here. My writing style is deliberate. People effortfully rhyme look at the Bard (although I would never presume) he is epic.

I was Mormon before I knew about dissociation or PTSD.or tumors. or parenting. or anything. I didn't know anything, just perservering seeking caring folk because of some unknown gift I survived. But what I do know is I'm all me, & my writing & drawing & knitting & sewing & poetry & hiking & reading have always been in every state in every place I've ever been in the church or out of the church. So that's real. I like to think of myself as a chameleon. Someone who makes their own special for self for every relationship. In the church after the church near family in the church, near family who left the church, all me, dial her in, Happier with coffee.

Now that may not work for you, I did like the topics on the board though.

Can't those who are bothered by Adam's posts just not read them? I understand that he can come across as passive-aggressive at times and as such can be annoying at such times, which is why not everyone here should necessarily hang onto every word he writes. Others here don't mind conversing with him.

I'm not trying to tell anyone else what they should do to do, but this doesn't have to be a huge issue for any of us. Read the posts or don't. When it gets to the point that I cannot find other posts or cannot post something myself, I will be concerned about the state of things here. Meanwhile, perhaps the moderators should worry about it if and when they deem it "worryable." Or not. I don't claim to have all the answers.