An older man who I went to church with died yesterday. He was loved by all, and gave candy to the primary kids. You know, a true blue Morg. He played Santa Claus even when I was in primary, and I'm 38. Knowing it will be a Mormon funeral, I'm not sure if I want to go. Especially since I just found out all about the the BS the cult is about, and the wounds are still fresh, and I'm still angry about it everything about it.

I just go to viewings and skip the funeral.

Yes, I would agree. The viewing will give you more of a chance to talk to the family, anyway, and to express your condolences.

Go to both. It’s about the man not the church. Give him the respect in death you gave him in life.

Gatorman

gatorman Wrote:
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> Go to both. It’s about the man not the church.
> Give him the respect in death you gave him in
> life.
>
> Gatorman


I agree. A good man deserves your respect regardless of the funeral setting.

Tom Padley Wrote:
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> I agree. A good man deserves your respect
> regardless of the funeral setting.

I agree with this sentiment; but we shouldn’t overlook the fact that the good man isn’t there to notice the gesture of respect.

Funerals are for the living, not the dead.

The good man’s family and friends will be heartened by the OP’s presence, knowing that the good man they loved was also loved by others. That’s always a good reason to attend a funeral. Funeral’s are for those who are left behind, grieving.

You are already honoring him, by thinking of him fondly, and remembering the good times with him. Depending on your own belief in the afterlife, your older man friend knows this, or, at least, positive energy is being sent out into the universe.

As for his family, they are the ones who need to be comforted. They would like to know about your happy memories of their loved one. You would be honoring him, again, by telling his family. This can be done at the viewing.

I always go to the viewings, sign the register (they do look at the names, later), stand quietly in line, and say a few kind words to the family members, and go home. If I can't go to the viewing, I send a sympathy card.

No one knows who is, or who is not, at the actual funeral. There is no chance to talk to anyone. You might find out some interesting facts about the deceased, and that's the only positive. If it upsets you to hear the plan of salvation and all the preaching, then don't go.

Mormon funerals give me PTSD flashbacks, and I would get so upset, that it would effect my performance at work, afterwards. If a very close friend or relative dies, I send flowers, suck it up, and go. It's all about the grieving family, and not about you, and not about the cult. Don't let the Mormon church dictate what you do.

I've never regretted going to a funeral, even for people who I wasn't super close to. Some were professional associations, who I didn't know that well on a personal level. And I learned things about them that I never knew, and came to appreciate the person I had liked and respected, but hadn't really known on a deep level.

I HAVE regretting missing funerals, though. When I thought I was too busy, or it was inconvenient, or I didn't know that that well, I missed some. And later I wished I had marked their passing more definitively, and given support to the surviving families.

However, if it triggers you to be in the Mormon church, and if it will cause too much emotional upheaval, then I would miss it, and do what other people suggested: Just go to the viewing, or maybe visit the ceremony later for closure.