".....And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart."

hmmmmm...Creator's remorse.

Can anyone blame Him?

…Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

The LORD was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart.

The LORD said, "I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, from man to animals to creeping things and to birds of the sky; for I am sorry that I have made them."…


-New American Standard Bible

The lord was sorry...

This struck me as interesting. I had a discussion with a Christian who said God was massless and therefore not subjected to time, as God sees everything all at once. This verse seems to contradict such an an argument. Why would he (sorry no female God) regret something in advance? Perhaps as a massless being he is unable to waste time?

Sounds like he failed to follow the instructions during assembly and then wouldn't admit that he was the problem..

Typical guy.

Worse, he later had a kid out of wedlock just so that he could use the poor bastard to fix the original problem.

Haha. Yup!

GOD: What are we going to do? They have almost made it to Mars. They could be here soon and I still don't know how to stop them. Should never have given them those procreation devices Lucifer tricked me into. Who's going to stop the madness?

JESUS: All I know is I ain't going back there ever. No way!

JOSEPH: I'll go. I had a pretty good time and went out with a bang! I have some great ideas for next time.

God: Hmmmmnnnn . . .

That's what always seemed to do for me - and the wrong paint colours ;-)

Even God couldn't get Tab B into Slot A?

Maybe this is why we have our very own galaxy, and God lives lightyears away.

In a getaway gated community with the unlikely name Kolob.

Location, location, location.

Shummy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> In a getaway gated community with the unlikely
> name Kolob.

Joseph's ghost writers were clever blokes who may have liked to include anagrams in their lame productions.

In naming God's getaway commune up there in some part of the galaxy, the scribbling enablers came up with Kolob, the flip side of "bollock."

British Dictionary definitions for bollocks:

1. another word for testicles
2. nonsense; rubbish

interjection:
3. an exclamation of annoyance, disbelief, etc
4.to muddle or botch

A fine cosmological term, I think, for the Headquarters of a rubbish religion.

Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense when you think about it--destroy the earth after you made it, then send your kid down to fix it instead of destroying it again the next time you think everyone is an a-hole.


Well, according to Mrs. God, it keeps God out of the bars and gives him a hobby, sort of like a model railroad....

Maybe why God's unlisted and keeps his number private.

He gets enough bad press as it is.

You'd think an omniscient 'god' would've known ahead of time that humanity was going to screw up, hence no reason for remorse...?

Oh, well.

Presumably ghawd can toggle his omniscience on and off. Knowing everything ALL the time just isn't so much fun. A guy's got a right to like surprises, no? ;-)

2nd.
That is another DoubleBind!
Inexcusable.

Omniscience and omnipotence were boring to Him. He came up with the bright idea to create a Universe and a lifeform where many of the variables were randomized in such a way that even He couldn't predict the outcome.

The outcome really messed with his mind.

That really screws up my Calvinist youth programming.

attracted me to RfM.

Y'all are great. Really!!

catnip Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> attracted me to RfM.
>
> Y'all are great. Really!!

Your use of the word 'cheekiness' sparked a memory:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1sQkEfAdfY

at 5m30sec Eddie Izzard says, "he was a cheeky monkey..." and it set me on my life's path.

Tom in Paris, if you haven't seen this before, I believe you will enjoy it.

Thanks elderolddog, I really enjoyed that ;-)

I like Eddie Izzard - and the French LOVE him.

Have a great weekend everyone :-D

Tom in Paris

Yes EOD and TiP, Eddie! I love him.

The Flood: God’s first really big Genocide Project.

Plainly, he didn’t repent, and it wasnt true remorse, as afterwards he continued the senseless slaughter of hundreds of thousands of innocent folks for millennia.

I was in Yerevan Armenia 2 weeks ago, I saw a piece of the ark in the relic room one of the cathedrals, and had a nice view of Mt Ararat. And pondered the weight of this, the first of many such important projects of God’s.

RG

He who makes the rules breaks the rules.

A lesson not lost on young Joseph.

Thanks for the thread, Shummy.

What a great example of a loving god, "father," and omnipotent lord:


"If they hurt your wittle fweelings, kill them, kill them all!"

"I love you, my children, so I shall kill you."

"I'm not in the mood to knock a "daughter" up yet, no plan of salvation on the table, ...what to do...?"

Six days and a flood. Either one believes it, or one does not. "Maybe" cannot exist in the matter.

So 'round and 'round we go, and the most learned of religion, knowing the origins of this nonsense, will argue that it is *now* thought to be allegorical, but just look at "all it has given mankind."

What utter bullsh##.

Six days and a flood has stood firmly in the path of social, educational and scientific progress from the beginning, In still stands in the stead of reality. It spreads and promotes the filth of separatism, war, pillaging, rape, death and an ultimate apocalypse in which followers salivate.

To those who would claim that they only follow the "good bits" while knowing the origins to be in no way superior to the claims of Smith, I would suggest that without having suffered Abraham, or Smith, they can have no idea how the "good bits" may have limited either their own educational, ethical or moral development, or that of the world in which they might have evolved.

I'm weary of the arguments, "If not for the bible, if not for a god, mankind would not have been inspired to art, music, - the aesthetics would be so much less than they are now." Right. I would ask which god inspired these:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cave_painting

...long before there was an alphabet of any sort.

I don't care what fairy tales people choose to avoid the responsibilty of reality, I really don't. I just wish they would stop insisting that others must believe the same nonsense, to the point of enacting laws to that effect. Until they make their outrageous beliefs a "personal matter," a matter of "choice" equal to their own, their words of "religious freedom" can carry no weight whatsoever. In short, they outright lie about the "freedom" part of the phrase. The rest of us are "free" to believe and act as believers choose for us.

As an atheist, I suffer no fear of either a god-given flood, nor an apocalyptic salvation from a global catastrophe, that sans myth, we likely would have been much closer to an actual salvation of mankind, come that inevitable day. We are a fragile society, depending on fragile technologies. We should act accordingly. There is little room for myth-bade, myth-based laws. Pray as you will, but leave it between you and your Governor, not mine.

"Hey, just because you're prepared to think for yourself does not mean that the rest of us are! Please shut up, sit down here with the rest of us and cower when the thunder rumbles!

"If the herd's myopic, bumbling movements to and fro results in death and despoliation, it's okay because basically, we mean well, and as long as we mean well, (and I'm not hurt), we're good."

lol :) Now I have to go watch "Machines of the Gods" again, 'cause the thunder box never fails to make me smirk in quiet peace.

"Creator's remorse." -I am so stealing that ;)

Thank you, thank you all for a truly enjoyable, entertaining thread....I'm stranded out of town with no tv or wi-fi so I scrounged enough change from my "parking change" in my car( which is of no value anymore due to these ridiculous parking meters)..enough change to get a Junior Whopper so I could use their wi-if for awhile before going to my non- connected room. And I got to read this thread. I thought of commenting, but I didn't want to break your rhythm. Thanks again...love you guys.

Oh Lord Please Don't Burn Us


from monty python's 'the meaning of life':

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fINh4SsOyBw

it's a 3 minute clip of a short sermon followed by a 'prayer' full of 'praise' and then this hymn:


O Lord, please don't burn us.
Don't grill or toast Your flock.
Don't put us on the barbecue
Or simmer us in stock.
Don't braise or bake or boil us
Or stir-fry us in a wok.
Oh, please don't lightly poach us
Or baste us with hot fat.
Don't fricassee or roast us
Or boil us in a vat,
And please don't stick Thy servants, Lord,
In a Rotissomat.

song lyrics at:

http://www.montypython.net/scripts/dontburn.php

He was speaking as an exalted man.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahhaah Good one Don.

turn the other cheek - priceless