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Posted by: anybody ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 08:25PM


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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 08:28PM

Shorts, a golf shirt and hiking boots, cuz that's how I came into the world, so that's how I'll go out.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/14/2017 08:28PM by elderolddog.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 08:28PM

I'll be cremated...so I guess I'll be "wearing" an urn or something :)

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 08:36PM

Cremated in my most faded well-worn jeans, Hawaiian shirt, and Ecco sandals. The Hawaiian Shirt is necessary so Hie abd the Dawg will recognize me in heaven with, “WTF! How, the hell, did YOU get in here?” Cheers to all! Da Bone.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/14/2017 08:38PM by BYU Boner.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 08:42PM

I love ya pal, but if there's a heaven...I'm probably out.
Doesn't worry me though. :)

Hey, if it does happen, maybe you can come visit me 'down below' and bring me a cold beer? <grin>

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 09:47PM

If there’s a heaven, you’re most definitely in, wanker!

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Posted by: jackman ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 01:37PM

Hell has endless Geothermal energy and I'm a handy engineer, so joke's on you God.

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Posted by: rhgc ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 08:10PM

But my brother, an engineer, told me there are no engineers in Hell - and no lawyers in Heaven. But there was a story that an engineer like the above poster was sent to Hell by mistake. Saint Peter called down to Satan and said it was a mistake and Satan agreed. But Satan refused to send the engineer up to heaven. So Saint Peter said: "I'll Sue1" Satan replied, "And where are you going to get an attorney?". The engineer was installing air conditioning etc. to hell.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 08:42PM

damn it, Boner! Sandals??!!! Jesus de mi alma, you're lucky I love you enough to put up with that shit!

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 09:47PM

Sandals help with my toenail fungus :)

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 02:39PM

Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhaaha.

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Posted by: rhgc ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 08:46PM

I'll decide at that time.

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 08:51PM

Red Folger's can. My temple name will be Ash.

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 01:02AM

I've read that my artificial knees will survive cremation, and be perfectly re-usable for some other poor gimpy person who needs new knees! They have a lot of miles on them, but they are great! I won't mind passing them along when the time comes. Maybe they can be sold at a discount, although from what I've read, they will survive in brand-new condition. It makes me happy, to think of passing along the gift of pain-free ambulation to somebody else.

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Posted by: AFT ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 04:41AM

They can also be sold to highest bidder by the crematory. If they're Titanium, your knees would probably be sold to be melted down. If they're in perfect condition, they might be sold to the miltary.

You have no choice in what your donated body parts are used for. They could use it to build a bomb.LOL

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Posted by: AFT ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 04:51AM

White shroud in a willow coffin. No embalming. Hand dug grave with no concrete vault.

I WOULD have a witness cremation, but the ashes are inorganic. I want to replenish the earth...and cremation won't do that.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 09:43PM

I've made a mixed tape. Okay, it's a CD, but you know. Dance!

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 05:12PM

my left-over body parts??

I don't think the ashes would be worth anything, but from what I've read, those titanium knees will come through in prime shape, able to be used by some other poor miserable person who needs one or two new knees.

They have made a huge difference for me, since my factory original knees were worn-down and very painful. It makes me happy to think that some other poor gimpy person could be given some pain-free mileage from my second-hand knees.

It probably wouldn't be a good thing to mention to the recipient that the knees had been pre-owned. Dunno.

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Posted by: Aquarius123 ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 09:06PM

My favorite nightgown and fluffy socks.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 09:07PM

Oven mitts and a cookie sheet.

Not sure what will be fashionable to wear to my cremation.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 09:10PM


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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 09:10PM

A kilt.

Hey, why not?

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Posted by: thorn ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 10:32PM

My bike gear if I have a choice, but I'll be dead so I won't know. Likely will end up being what the old girl decides.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 10:43PM

I haven't thought that far ahead.

What to wear when I'm dead?

Something comfortable.

;-)

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Posted by: Heretofore ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 10:54PM

I will be wearing ashes, after being burned to a crisp in a crematorium. :)

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 10:55PM

Gold. 14 karat.

My ashes are to be made into Diamonds, mounted in rings or necklaces and given to my grand kids.

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Posted by: itzbeen20 ( )
Date: November 14, 2017 11:43PM

Going for the birthday suit. All one piece, always in style and appropriate cut and chic!

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 01:03AM

I will be all dressed up with no place to go.

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Posted by: ipo ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 05:48PM


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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 01:18AM

For my end-of-life
..
I'll be LATE!

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 01:53AM

I wonder if the proportion of us who want to be cremated is higher than for the general population. It seems like it may be.

Incidentally I would want cremation--if I weren't already a pillar of salt.

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 01:14PM

A salty pillar of salt, I’d say! Who knows, maybe out atoms will combine into molecules to form something new and wonderful. We all are star dust.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 04:26PM

I want the then-current-atoms making up my body when I die to be made into beer.

That way, someone will enjoy me, possibly get laid because of it, and then the atoms will be whisked away to the local sewer plant (or, more likely, wind up on some tree outside some bar), where they'll join the planetary water cycle, and will wind up in tiny quantities in billions of people.

Hey, I don't believe in heaven, but I can still dream big, right?

:)

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Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: November 16, 2017 02:47PM

I'd imagine the proportion of us who plan to be cremated is right in line with the general US population. Just probably a lot higher than the mormon population. It's been a long time since I've been to a funeral where there was a body. And I just don't see as many funeral processions on the street as I used to.

I see a lot more commercials for mortuaries that have cremation packages. I guess if they're losing out on selling fancy coffins and their burial services, they have to get creative in their cremation offerings. One "viewing" I went to (view the urn) was quite elaborate. Big canvas prints, all kinds of candles and decorations, finger foods, a string quartet.

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 03:55AM

No funeral for nevermo me...

Once the paperwork has been completed, it is direct to the crematory for my body, as far as I am concerned.

P.S. I recently learned that a small metal identification tag is included in the ashes, and if that metal identification tag is found on public lands, that person's survivors can be fined (according to local county/state law; I don't know about federal land). The moral of the story is: if you are dispersing ashes on public property, be sure to take out the metal tag first.

EDITED TO ADD: Good general info about scattering ashes at: https://www.thefuneralsite.com/Local/Los-Angeles/Scattering.html (Although this info is from a private company offering crematory and scattering services, the info is succinct and really good.)

What I learned: It has not been just MY extended family who has mused about the possibility of scattering ashes at Disneyland!! (In our hypothetical case: at the Haunted Mansion, of course!) The answer to my family's discussions, which began when the Haunted Mansion made its debut, is: When asked for permission (as is legally required, because Disneyland is private property), Disneyland always says "No." (But I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised if Walt's ashes, and perhaps the ashes of some of his family members, weren't scattered or interred at Disneyland somewhere...perhaps, even, somewhere very near to the Haunted Mansion???)

Second thing to add: Angeles National Forest, despite its incredible beauty and apparent natural peacefulness, is not a good choice either, because---on this level---it is nationally and internationally notorious as a dump site for cremated ashes and actual dead bodies. The Forest Rangers keep a perpetually vigilant eye out for this kind of prohibited behavior.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/15/2017 06:08AM by Tevai.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 01:16PM

Wasn't Walt frozen in case a cure was found for his illness and the fountain of youth?

I didn't know he was cremated.

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 02:17PM

Amyjo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wasn't Walt frozen in case a cure was found for
> his illness and the fountain of youth?
>
> I didn't know he was cremated.

I don't know what happened to his body, but I do know how deeply connected he felt to the three-dimensional externalization he had created from his most enduring inner self.

One way or another, I bet that "he" is at Disneyland still.

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Posted by: Mother Who Knows ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 04:07AM

My favorite neighbor died a few months ago. All the neighborhood Mormons were always trying to convert him. He was polite and patient. He was buried in full Navy uniform--he looked good! I think I'll wear my work uniform, which is a suit. Wait, I think they keep the bottom half of the coffin closed, so I'll wear a wool blazer and silk blouse, and then jeans and Sketchers on my lower half.

Ew. Close the upper half, too. I don't want people staring at me when I'm dead. I don't want to horrify my grandchildren.

I want to ride my horse up the mountain into a snowstorm, like Jeremiah Johnson (Robert Redford) in the movie, in the same mountains around Sundance....

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Posted by: anybody ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 07:11AM


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Posted by: sbg ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 10:01AM

My "fat" jeans, a sweatshirt and a tiara. Gotta have a tiara.

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 01:17PM

:)

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 01:21PM

Fire Crackers. Box of matches on the side. Going out with a bang as they say.

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Posted by: cutekitty ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 01:46PM

My birthday suit!!! I want my frilly white ass cremated, nice and crispy, then thrown in the hole I have my name in stone on.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/15/2017 04:31PM by cutekitty.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 01:49PM

My TBM cousin was buried in her temple clothes last winter.

When I had a dream she visited me not too long ago (in great distress,) she was wearing those clothes. She was very agitated and upset - maybe because her life was cut short (she suffered from a congenital disease that was incurable.)

She was venting her frustration with me, as I'd gone to the funeral to support her mother who she hadn't spoken to in over 30 years (her mother and I are first cousins.) It was devastating for her mother to have to bury her daughter under those circumstances.

Sister of deceased cousin told me she appeared to me because "I left the gospel." So she wanted me to know she wasn't happy about that. It wasn't about that at all. It was about her, and the relationship that was lacking with her mother that she was unhappy and angry; and her spirit not at peace. (Try telling that to a TBM though, I didn't press it since it was her sister.)

She looked really creepy in her temple dress however; while in a rage as a spirit. She grabbed my wrists and I felt jolts of electricity running through them as though she wanted to hurt me like she was hurting. I don't know what her message was exactly, other than she was in severe pain and distress.

Someone here wondered if it was because she realized after dying that the gospel isn't true? That she'd been deceived, and was finding out now it was all a hoax? Who knows? I still am trying to figure what her motivation was for appearing to me.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: November 17, 2017 10:18AM

It occurred to me yesterday for the first time since my cousin came to me in a dream visitation that she wasn't just a perplexed and unhappy soul on the other side.

Her spirit was decidedly demonic. I wouldn't have wanted to project that onto her because of her background. She was a returned missionary, temple married, etc and had a sweet disposition as a younger woman. And yet her later years went terribly awry as she suffered with her inner demons up until she died.

So her death was a natural progression of her earthly existence. Her spiritual welfare didn't seem anymore assured on the other side than it was during her temporal existence.

And yet her TBM immediate family believes she is healed of her pain and suffering now that she's crossed over.

That is why I haven't had the heart to tell them otherwise. Except for when one of her sisters called me recently and I happened to mention the dream to her in passing. She thought it was a warning to me to go back to church. (What she doesn't understand is that her belief system is a crock. Maybe her sister figured that out after she died.)

But it wasn't like that at all. She was a spirit in torment. That doesn't translate to being healed in the afterlife. Where does she go from there? Her suffering didn't stop with her death.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/17/2017 05:00PM by Amyjo.

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 02:57PM

Just spritz me with a little Ode de Pam and roll me in the big burners.

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Posted by: Toasted ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 04:38PM


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Posted by: ookami ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 03:08PM

I'd prefer cremation. If there's a viewing, it might be in a Navy uniform, since I'm a veteran.

I've also thought about wearing a T-shirt to my funeral that says "Sorry I'm late. I didn't want to come."

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Posted by: boilerluv ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 04:56PM

Since I will be cremated, I would suggest a plain sheet to wrap around my what-might-well-be-hideous-looking body, and then into the flames. I told my daughter to sprinkle my ashes someplace pretty---around the LaPaz Waterfall region in Costa Rica, if she can get me there. (She took me there for a vacation when I was first diagnosed with cancer, and we both loved it.) If not, anyplace she likes and thinks is pretty--like one of the State Parks here in Indiana. There are some gorgeous areas here. It's not all corn in Indiana! :)

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 07:07PM

anybody Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> http://www.friendsaf.com/viking-funeral/


Yes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it.

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Posted by: readwrite ( )
Date: November 16, 2017 02:53AM

Yea, that is rad, Viking funerals, and they even have 'Surfers' and Native American funerals and 'New Orleans' wakes.

Aha! CREAMATION. Ashes dumped into a temple's 'DEAD' dunking booth (on oxen'ass). Any chapel's baptismal font would suffice. Great mormon/ former mormon "eternal plan" or a joke-hoax-trick-dare.

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Posted by: readwrite ( )
Date: November 15, 2017 11:31PM

I'm NOT GOING to my funeral! Skin and Bones - my birthday suit (what can they do, arrest you?) - is all I'll wear or need and I don't want anyone to wear anything for me. It's what I arrived in and it's what I'll wear out.

While trying to stay warm/ comfortable, easy on the eyes, and socially fashionable - and unarrested - my diva diverse, extensive and exciting, comfortable and clean, working and playing wild wardrobe stays on earth for others to wear, while they are alive, and don't feel particularly like wearing anything else, or NOTHING AT ALL.

Oh yea, duh,


I'm not dying.

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Posted by: commongentile ( )
Date: November 16, 2017 09:18AM

I want my body to be dressed in a suit and tie and reposing in a casket that is regal in appearance and luxurious both inside and out.

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Posted by: dirtbikr ( )
Date: November 17, 2017 11:46AM

Jock strap. Cowboy boots

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Posted by: Godzilla ( )
Date: November 17, 2017 11:47AM

Naked, please

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Posted by: Honest TBM ( )
Date: November 17, 2017 11:49AM

It is so disgusting how the minions of Satan have been trying to have the speakers at funerals talk about the person who just died. Its as if the loved ones left behind are supposed to really grieve or mourn when in fact they are supposed to be part of the glorious Mormon religion where Brigham Young and other leaders have set the tone that its like a Beehive where we all got to work super hard and stay focused on serving the Lord through strict obedience to the Brethren. Thus all that mourning/grief stuff has to go by the wayside as fast as possible as there are chapels to clean and other duties to perform to get more people assimilated and get those already in even more assimilated into being completely obedient and subservient to the glorious cause.

What they really should be doing is singing the praises of the marvelous General Authorities and local Church leaders we have as the funeral service is an opportunity to get all those people corralled in to a meeting so they can be encouraged and assimilated into being completely loyal/obedient to the Brethren and all their local leaders. Another good topic would be to talk in general about the Plan of Salvation and all the glorious things we know about it. For example, the #1 selling point of Mormonism is that we can become gods and goddesses. If this was something that we really don't know much about or if it was just a couplet more than anything then the whole Church would just be a moot waste of time.

Mormonism is such a glorious humane religion that really cares about the well-being of people :) Oh and of course the marvelous Brethren especially ;)

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Posted by: pugsly ( )
Date: November 17, 2017 03:50PM

Body bag. DH and I have both signed the paperwork to donate our bodies to a medical school here in the state. Then cremation of what is left over.

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Posted by: readwrite ( )
Date: November 17, 2017 04:32PM

I wouldn't go... just to show me how it feels to be free!

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Posted by: CateS ( )
Date: November 17, 2017 07:09PM

Nothing. I would like a sky burial like they do in Tibet. I just want to be hacked up and left as a meal for the vultures.

If that were to be too impractical I'd just like to be cooked. So again, nothing or maybe a cotton shift of some sort.

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