Posted by:
waunderdog
(
)
Date: November 12, 2017 12:29PM
You leave the church and suddenly discover you don't have any friends. How do you make new ones?
This article at Ideas.TED.com offers some suggestions.
https://ideas.ted.com/feel-like-you-dont-fit-in-heres-how-to-find-where-you-truly-belong/?utm_campaign=social&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_content=ideas-blog&utm_term=social-science<<Perhaps the first step to finding people like yourself is to show up as yourself.>>
Some of us have been so conditioned by Mormonism (and perhaps by society) to think we have to act a certain way in order for people to like us, that we need to mirror their behaviors, attitudes and appearances. In other words, don't be our icky, unlikeable selves, be fake. That's tiring and crazy making.
<<'Long before community assumes external shape and form, it must exist within you. Only as we are in communion within ourselves can we be in community with others,' wrote philosopher Parker Palmer>>
Once we allow ourselves to be our true selves, then we go in search of like-minded communities. There are several types: communities of shared practice, communities of shared proximity, communities of shared passions, communities of providence, and communities of shared purpose. The 'net is a good place to find these communities.
Since the LDS church sort of supplied us with a pool of "friends," some of us freak out at the idea of walking into a room of strangers. But if it's a room people with a shared interest, then they're only partial strangers. It's like when we used to show up at a new ward. Hey, at least you had the church in common.
But, unlike Mormonism, new friends aren't going to just show up at your door. You have to take action.