Posted by:
Trouble Not
(
)
Date: November 11, 2017 12:28PM
Thanks for stating how the secret happened to get blown. ...enquiring minds... ;)
Since it's a festering wound, I would try to find a solid, non-religious counselor to help find ways to help it heal. If you don't, it could keep coming out sideways, as in this situation. I say non-religious because when you write "man of the cloth," I don't entirely trust religious leaders to be non-judgemental; that is, they can sometimes make things worse, by heaping religious shame onto already massive feelings of guilt.
If you are still married, counseling can also open avenues of thought to help out there, as well. Until you decide a plan of action, you can tell your husband that some old issues have come up that you are ready to work through with a professional.
As for the two men referenced in your first post, until it's more settled for you, for your sake, don't respond with anything other than, "I'm not interested in discussing it, is there other business to attend? No? Good day to you." Click. Leave no room for debate, questions or accusations. You have healing to do, and don't need cult crapped heaped onto your shoulders.
Just a word or two for you to think about - Your ex-lover chose a never-mo for a reason; apologies, but one does not shit where he eats, that is, among Mormons. Most who cheat are serial cheaters; nothing you told the bishop likely will be "news" to him, being a friend of your ex-lover. Finally, a caution. As sick as it will sound, the ex-bishop broke down your limits, and in doing so, has also "groomed" you to be open to any advances he may make. It is possible that you are on an unofficial "the willing never-mos" list among friends. Just steer clear of them. If he's not currently your ex-lover's bishop, he did not need details, and a decent person would not have asked them.
Your ex-lover is an adult, and can take care of himself. The lawyer-ex-bishop will do as he will. If the lawyer performed free services in the past, that was his gift to your family. You owe him nothing, and can pay a truly disinterested party (a lawyer) going forward. If your family says, "Just ask Bill!" say that you're uncomfortable doing that, and will find a trustworthy attorney.
And find and put your local UPS store or drop-box into your phone contacts. ;)
Good wishes to you.