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Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
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Posted by: Klasse Ronér ( )
Date: November 10, 2017 01:18PM

Let all your worries and frustrations of the day just vent out on somebody?

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Posted by: anonuk ( )
Date: November 11, 2017 05:13AM

No, but I am the reason (scapegoat or black sheep? I dunno exactly) for all the worries and frustrations and current poor health of my mother, even though I am a middle-aged married mother of two. My father also believes I am the cause of his wife's current anguish and so he is cross with me for 'making her ill'. He was not happy at all when I told him I do not control nor cause my mother's bad habits that cause her health to deteriorate. Took me a while to convince myself and to be honest, I have still not completely convinced myself of the same, yet.

Isn't it wonderful how our mormon relatives are able to scapegoat someone or something to enable them to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions? What a wonderful, heavenly religion the mormon church must be that it would subliminally teach this 'coping strategy'? (sarcasm)

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Posted by: CateS ( )
Date: November 11, 2017 05:53AM

Never. I've had it done to me and it's very cruel.

I can only remember ever having been purposefully cruel to one person in my life and that was when I was in the 7th grade. I still regret it. I also regret having the opportunity when I was in my early 20's to apologize and not having done so.

I have no doubt that I have been inadvertently hurtful but I haven't purposefully done so.

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Posted by: thingsithink ( )
Date: November 11, 2017 08:29AM

Yes. Every day.

Then I apologize and let the person know I was stressed, worried, tired, or consumed with something unrelated to their words or actions. I even do it to myself.

As I’ve uncovered this misdirected energy, I’ve been astounded to find how subtle and pervasive it is in me. And I’ve found that rooting this behavior out leads me to more productive living.

When I observe this behavior in others I strive to nod my head knowingly, smile to myself and go forward.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: November 11, 2017 10:09AM

I wouldn't have to, if people learned how to drive, or failing that, just got out of my way! They get my rancor the old-fashioned way, they earn it...

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: November 11, 2017 12:39PM

I'm the one everyone comes to to dump their problems and concerns, and then they go about their business. I always know if 2 of my siblings aren't calling, their lives are going okay. I have a therapist. They all don't. My therapist has told me they all need some therapy, but since I get therapy, then I'm the "identified patient." The only way I am ever heard is to go ballistic and then they all think I'm nuts.

So, nope. I pretty much keep to myself or my therapist. My boyfriend, as he left to go to AZ for a few days and I'm babysitting his dog, told me I better make appts with my therapist because of some issues I'm dealing with. . . Oh, and if my ex needs a therapist for a day or two, he uses mine.

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