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Posted by: NeverBeenaMormon ( )
Date: October 06, 2017 08:38PM

I completely missed that Hales died

So........who replaces him? I'd guess Whitney Clayton or Tad Callister. TSCC will show off its incredible diversity by appointing a rich, old, white male from Utah

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Posted by: severedpuppetstrings ( )
Date: October 06, 2017 09:33PM

DAMN!!!
Ya'll beat me to it! I was going to say someone old rich and white!
Maybe they'll stretch a bit and pick a Canadian, or an Anglo South African.

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 11:51AM

Bill Walker, former temple poobah....and a Canadian.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: October 06, 2017 09:41PM

There but for the grace if no ghawd, go I.

Yes, I'm convinced that if I'd stayed in, I would have been the first Brown apostle, and I would have popularized "orale" as the new conference opening greeting.

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Posted by: severedpuppetstrings ( )
Date: October 06, 2017 09:55PM

It might be possible. All for the right price...and your return.
;-)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/06/2017 09:56PM by severedpuppetstrings.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 12:03AM

There was (past tense?) some speculation about Mittney; kind of a Show Horse, 'eh?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/07/2017 12:03AM by GNPE.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 12:46AM

I think if he wanted it, he would have gotten it already.

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Posted by: scmd ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 07:21AM

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think if he wanted it, he would have gotten it
> already.

I agree, Summer. A GA position would be a step downward for Mitt in just about every way.

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Posted by: shakinthedust ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 07:15PM

Maybe things have changed now for him.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 12:05AM

The replacement might be a seal wearing a party hat.

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Posted by: Soft Machine ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 01:53AM


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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 10:50AM

Snort! Arf! Arf!

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Posted by: thingsithink ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 12:26AM

Are potential replacements asked about masturbation?

That narrows the pool.

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Posted by: Lachesis ( )
Date: October 11, 2017 09:58AM

Nah, any potential prospects would already be pretty high up and extremely adept at lying.

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Posted by: Gossiper ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 12:46AM

On another exMo forum, a poster wrote that rumors from inside the COB named Whitney Clayton as the new apostle. Should be interesting ....

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 01:10AM

They'll just have to wait for ghawd to tell Monson who he wants as a special witness to his name. ...no sense speculating, as if it were up to a vote...

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Posted by: NeverBeenaMormon ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 07:18AM

When do we find out?

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Posted by: severedpuppetstrings ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 07:34AM

April, during the next conference. We'll just have to wait.

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Posted by: NeverBeenaMormon ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 02:37PM

Looks like you don't have to wait until conference. Holland was appointed and then voted on after taking up the role. Apostles also recommend a load of names and someone "wins". Basically a power struggle

http://kuer.org/post/choosing-new-mormon-apostle-explainer

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Posted by: NeverBeenaMormon ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 02:38PM

Looks like you don't have to wait until conference. Holland was appointed and then voted on after taking up the role. Apostles also recommend a load of names and someone "wins". Basically a power struggle. No surprise

http://kuer.org/post/choosing-new-mormon-apostle-explainer

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Posted by: Babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 08:59AM

He'll be replaced by someone whose proven himself to be a company man. A true believer who'll do whatever it takes to believe and is completely bought into the delusion.

After all, how can you fool other people if you can't even fool yourself?

So, Hales is at the judgment bar of God sipping on his third pina colada. It's a beautiful joint, but he wonders why the waitresses are topless. Turns out it's Joe's place.

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Posted by: Ghost of Hales ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 10:52AM

It will be the Seventy who kissed the most butt and quoted the current 15 most often during this last conference

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 11:18AM

So if Tommy receives a revelation from the lord regarding the next special witness to Jesus name, and that person, for example, me, accepts, but Tommy dies before conference, can the new prophet pick some other, obviously less brown, person, and can I sue?

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 11:30AM

"Tommy" and "receive revelation" don't belong together!

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Posted by: You Too? ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 02:10PM

I'm going for Gong.

But Monson will have to raise himself from his senile stupor to get it done.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 03:15PM

Anyone have any data on Monson's most recent lucid appearance?

I'm always interested in how mormomism's devotion to its old prophets impacts the brand.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 03:25PM

I think that they are holding off until Tommy gets better or kicks the bucket. They already have one guy lined up. His name is Givens. They are trying to get the other one cleared. His name is Druthers.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 03:38PM

Well, you have to expect that people would rather have their Druthers, que no?

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Posted by: desertman ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 04:21PM

Frank Fairweather Summerfall Winterspring
or maybe: John J. Weatherbeatten Dearforth



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/07/2017 05:07PM by desertman.

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Posted by: 6 iron ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 06:45PM

One of the 3 Nephites

You will only be able to see them with your spiritual eyes

They will only write in reformed Egyptian, and speak Aramaic, or Hebrew or Native American, or Hebrew???

The pulpit promoter doesn't have a Reformed Egyptian keyboard, sooooo..

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Posted by: rhgc ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 07:01PM

How can they chose ANYONE? Clearly, the "prophet" is not competent! Unlike the US Constitution as amended, there is no way without the death of Monson that someone can be picked. The FP is not able to. The C12 can't. The Seventies can't. If Monson dies, of course the C12 can appoint.

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Posted by: Louis E. ( )
Date: October 07, 2017 11:58PM

Ballard was chosen the month before Kimball's death,and Hales the month before Benson's death...surely no one seriously thinks the long-unseen church presidents were the prime movers in those appointments?

Ballard's wife even said straight out that in an interview just before the October 1985 conference,Hinckley (then second counselor and informally dubbed acting president) "called him as an apostle"...not told him that Kimball had done so.

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Posted by: Babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: October 08, 2017 10:43AM

They're not prophets, they're pimps for God. You had better pay, pray and obey, or else.

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Posted by: rhgc ( )
Date: October 08, 2017 02:49PM

They should choose a woman.

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Posted by: rhgc ( )
Date: October 08, 2017 08:34PM

I think Monson could die under the stress of deciding.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: October 08, 2017 12:03AM

Wealthy white businessman and/or attorney, related to other general authorities by blood, marriage, friendship, and/or business ties. This will be yet another chance for them to change, but they won't. Just like when they had the chance last time, but went with the familiar, instead.

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Posted by: severedpuppetstrings ( )
Date: October 08, 2017 10:02AM

You could be right. A "Young" "Kimball" "Smith" "McConkie" etc. might be called.

Sorry elderolddog....



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/08/2017 10:02AM by severedpuppetstrings.

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Posted by: NeverBeenaMormon ( )
Date: October 08, 2017 09:52AM


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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: October 08, 2017 10:43AM

Odds are a seventy. Though from time to time the Presiding Bishop has been called.

It is exceedingly rare they choose someone from the rank and file.

Though.....they have done so for counselors in the first presidency, then made them Apostles later on.

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Posted by: desertman ( )
Date: October 08, 2017 02:03PM

Somebody needs to get on the horn to KOLOB

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: October 08, 2017 02:08PM

I'm still pulling for Mittens... In case they don't choose ME, of course!

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