Thomas S Monson: Let's go Shopping!
(How ridicules you will go down in history for a saying like this.)

Gordon B Hickley: I don't know if we teach that.
(Famous interview he did back in the 90's.)
Sounded like he didn't know anything about the church he was the president of.

So, now is the time for you to record stupid statements of the GAS. Heck, any TSCC leader: Bishops, SPs, etc.

That was just a couplet!

Bishop at pulpit during sacrament meeting: "43 of you paid a full tithing last year. (Voice cracking through this next part) and the rest of you will burn."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/21/2017 09:39PM by Aquarius123.

Doubt your doubts.

Aquarius123 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Bishop at pulpit during sacrament meeting: "43 of
> you paid a full tithing last year. (Voice cracking
> through this next part) and the rest of you will
> burn."

Are you f#cking serious?

OOOHHHH! I got one!

My bp told me IF I did not go to my new ward, 15 miles from my house, one way, I would not be able to pay tithing or hold a calling!!!!!!!! I live barely a mile from my old building......

Lucky for him and everyone else, THIS was the straw that broke MY back. I am Done and more done.

tscc herds members to certain routes just like cattle rustlers move cattle;

Better to keep track of 'em!

Mormonism: It's about THE CHURCH, NOT ABOUT THE MEMBERS!

cutekitty Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> OOOHHHH! I got one!
>
> My bp told me IF I did not go to my new ward, 15
> miles from my house, one way, I would not be able
> to pay tithing or hold a calling!!!!!!!! I live
> barely a mile from my old building......

I would have replied: Really? Is that all I had to do to NOT pay tithing or do a stupid calling, then count me in. I will go to the ward nearest to me and not pay you 1 cent to do so. Also, I will not do any volunteer work for you as well including cleaning the building on Saturdays!

This might have been the case a few months ago.
I will not darken the doorway of an LDS building again.

I am ashamed I was a moron for so long, knowing what I know now?
I am pooped out as well!

In reverse, I moved to a new apartment and ward that had nobody remotely friendly. I asked if I could attend my old ward which was only about three miles outside the boundary. My old ward was the best bunch of Mormons I'd ever known. I got so depressed in the new ward I stopped attending and I've never been to church since.

No tithing and no callings? Not too bad of a deal if you're not quite ready to resign yet.

"I know.... (insert bullshit teachings here) ...is true"

"I am a special witness" (whatever the hell that is).

Messages lost down memory hole:

SM 1ST PRES LTR, mid 70's:

Decaf coffee is O.K.!

Why are GAS called GAS? Is it because they eat too many beans?

“Although, I do not care much for a negro, still I have a warm spot in my heart for those beautiful singers.”

- David O. McKay

“there are no homosexual members of the church...”

- David A. Bednar

"Elohim, Jehovah and Michael are Father, Son, and Grandson. They made this Earth and Michael became Adam."

- Joseph F. Smith

“… some of your elders say, that a man having a certain priesthood, may has as many wives as he pleases, and that doctrine is taught here: I say unto you that that man teaches false doctrine, for there is no such doctrine taught here; neither is there any such thing practiced here.”

- Hyrum Smith, 1844 (at the time, he had 3 concurrent "wives")

"...What a thing it is for a man to be accused of committing adultery, and having seven wives, when I can only find one. I am the same man, and as innocent as I was fourteen years ago; and I can prove them all perjurers."

- Joseph Smith, May 1844 (at the time he had at least 26 "wives")

"Take away the Book of Mormon and the revelations, and where is our religion? We have none."

- Joseph Smith

I think it was Hinckley speaking to a group of missionaries....."well you're not much to look at, but you're all we've got."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuN_ZDJKkPo

Hinckley was not much to look at but he was all that MORmON Jesus had at the time for a MORmON PRofit.

From a first councilor from the pulpit:

What do you get when you cross Spencer W. Kimball and J. Golden Kimball?


Do it...damn it!

(I know, not a GA.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/22/2017 01:56PM by Now a Gentile.

Wasn't it J. Golden Kimball who was splashed on the sidewalk going to the COB, said "Doesn't anybody have any respect for the damn priesthood?"

"I know that the history of the church is not to seek apologies or to give them," [Dallin] Oaks said in an interview Tuesday. "We sometimes look back on issues and say, 'Maybe that was counterproductive for what we wish to achieve,' but we look forward and not backward."

Fuck you, you bigoted racist homophobe! And no, TBMs, I will not apologize for that.

Remember, the TSCC has never come clean on the MMM either.

Mormons have never admitted their role in the MMM.

That it was Mormons that KILLED in cold blood 120 innocent men, women, and children.

That it was Brigham Young that hindered the federal government from finding the felons and prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law.

And Mormons claim to be Christians??????????

The past of 1847 is a strength and an inspiration to MORmONS that should never be forgotten

....However, the past of 1857 is so far into the past that it is best to leave it behind and leave it alone to be forgotten.

OK, now open your scriptures to read about what Jesus did 2000 years ago !!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2SY9LZ4wh4

I get it!!!!! I finally got it!!!!!!

A man is a prophet when he says something that is right!

A man is speaking just as a man when he is wrong.

But, I thought a prophet was always a prophet when speaking anything.

Will theses #$^**%$$ Mormons ever get their stories straight??/

No. They believe in circular reasoning which, in their eyes, is always right. No room for doubt. Hail to the Morg! (not)

That one from SWK where he says that any 2 people living the gospel can have a successful marriage. BuuuullShit!

maybe, if Both are nudists!

How can you be nudists and wear those stupid garments all the time?????????

Very Carefully....

at nite?

when no-one else is around?

when you're 'Busy'?

when you're a Free Soul (ex or current Hippie)

cheezus Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That one from SWK where he says that any 2 people
> living the gospel can have a successful marriage...


Well there ya go. There's the open door for same sex marriage.

What an excellent point! Any two of ghawd's kiddies can marry, if they share and live the same values!! Someone bake me a cake!!!

SWK should have been forced to live that one to prove it to be true, with some one else getting to pick whoever would be his wife.

The woman who WAS his wife, a very good woman, raised in polygamy was definitely not happy in her marriage.

I've got one: a relief society leader telling us at a RS birthday celebration "I am sure that unless you have been in a RS presidency you will not go to the celestial kingdom".

Don't forget Uchtdorf comparing the rock-in-a-hat to a cellphone.

What? Really? I definitely missed that one.

Would a rock-in-a-hat plan be cheaper than T mobile?

Can you give me a info about the price plans?

How good is the coverage and reception of the rock and hat?

F#ck if i look like a dumbass with trying a rock in a hat just imagine JS trying to do it in our day as the leader.

"One generation of homosexual "marriages" would depopulate a
nation, and, if sufficiently widespread, would extinguish its
people. Our marriage laws should not abet national suicide."
-- Dallin Oaks, 1984

another de facto admission that rank and file MORmONS are viewed as mere breeding stock for more brainless tithing payers on the LD$ inc MORmON plantation.

"Doubt your doubts" ??????

in reality LD$ inc does NOT care what any individual members may believe or think, or NOT, just as long as they remain motivated enough to pay offerings to LD$ Inc.

From by ex-TBM wife.
"I've heard if we knew what heaven was like we would kill ourselves." A definite WTF moment

BKKKP:
The enemies of the church are intellectuals, feminists and homosexuality.

With BYU deciding Coke was now ok to sell on campus. Caffeinated Soda was never part of the word of wisdom, it was a 'misunderstanding'..
It took 60 yrs to clear up a misunderstanding?? Make no mistake it was always about the caffeine.

I propose that it's always about the money.

There is an excellent basis for believing that the change in the WoW, once the saints were in Deseret, was that the negative balance of trade, i.e. hard currency was leaving Deseret to purchase coffee, tea, tobacco and alcohol, was hurting.

So by tweaking ghawd's word, they leveled the financial playing field.

Or ghawd just changed his mind...

Yes. I stand corrected. It is always about the money.

"I have learned that strong, impressive spiritual experiences do not come to us very frequently... have come to believe also that it is not wise to continually talk of unusual spiritual experiences."

BKP "Candle of the Lord" talk 1983

Translation: Keep your mouth shut and perpetuate the fraud.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/23/2017 08:32PM by steve benson.

Or 'in the name of cheeseus rice, amen.'?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/24/2017 11:41AM by cutekitty.

"Cheese and rice got all muddy!"

And, the cheapness of tscc rubs onto the individual members ... so they can contribute more!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/24/2017 12:28AM by GNPE.

"The Glory of God is Intelligence"

Yet enemies are intellectuals and blind faith trumps facts.

What a (wink, wink) great slogan for a "university" that is ultimately more about authority and religion than free-thought.

"I am scripture".
Claimed to have been said by Bednar.

I takes a MORmON General Authority, ASSpostHOLE and Media Genius to come up with stuff like this:

The bible testifies of Jesus Christ

The Book of MORmON testifies of Jesus Smith

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wALvdgurB4