A living prophet could surely pick stocks better than any stock broker, and it's not insider trading if God is the insider. Just meet Jesus in the celestial room for the next big stock tip.

They could build so many churches and temples that way. Maybe even give the members dividends to boost membership numbers.

at the peak of huge real estate bubbles

Some people think they *do* get "stock tips" from gods/spirits.

Interestingly, they do the same over the long term as anyone else. How about that :)

What you are suggesting would certainly work, IF the so called living prophet had a connection to Jehovah, or his dad, the famous boxer, Kid Elohim (Okay, He was just a club boxer, known for being short-tempered and 'accidentally' hitting 286 of his 322 opponents in the balls. But everyone agrees He was fun to watch!).

The real reason the Church is not allowed to Prophet/profit from its status as the one true church is that becoming wealthy and powerful would make joining the church an obvious choice, rather than a dubious choice, as it is now.

There would be no "choice" in joining if the church got so wealthy that it paid all the single women of the church a HUGE salary to spend their days flouncing in order to attract a worthy husband, to whom the HUGE salary would then be transferred. It would be a Perfect World!

My wallet is getting a hard-on just thinking about it! Because like the majority of men, while I can't be bought, I can be repeatedly rented.

Hahaha wallet getting a hard on thats good stuff.

Insider trading laws prohibit it.

I bet that if careful, honest records were kept, so that any and every market move based on prophetic vision were recorded, it wouldn't take long until such market moves where not only tolerated by brokers up through SEC regulators, but encouraged!

Maybe God has to answer to a higher controlling, legal authority.

Apparently God prefers to play His money making deals under the table through real estate wheeling and dealing. God knows how to avoid tax consequences. The stock market is too transparent. God tells the profit where the temples should be built to gain the greatest investment value on lands since there will be no tax consequences. God's no dummy. He has his second anointed working tirelessly to find the best real estate throughout the world. Vast tracts in Florida, Wyoming, etc. bought and sold by dummy corporations held by LDS, Inc. under obscure names. In the midwest there is a corporation that goes by the name of Farm Services that buys profitable farms but few have the knowledge that the LDS god is behind it all. God wouldn't want Satan to find out how to make pots full of money the way He has.

The general membership of LDS, Inc. is not allowed to know just how successful God is at making money because, as we all know, most members are so unworthy. As hard as the priesthood and relief society tries to keep the membership clean, pure, and perfect, they just keep looking at porn, cheating on tithing by paying their bills and mortgages first, and not attending the temple often enough. The members and missionaries are also falling down in growing the assets, eeeeer, I mean tithe paying membership. With such slothful servants in his flock God must keep rewarding only the most elect with the monetary benefits by being on the celestial board of directors of his exalted corporations.

Maybe if those slacker members would get their cleaning assignments done better and faster, or submit higher numbers of potential recruits to the missionaries, or read their Books of Mormon more often there just might be some financial reward. But God's aging, lying for the Lord, first class flying, General Authorities are the example to follow if you want to reap the rewards of the one true church. And we know it must be God's true church or it wouldn't be so gosh darn wealthy.

He likes to corner the grains market when futures are priced low, then send a drought and cash out. God's kind of a dick (in case you're unfamiliar with his Scriptures).

Actually that has happened, but with a different church. This occurred with the Church of God of Prophesy headquartered in East TN. The Church of God of Prophecy is a break off from the huge Church of God. Both have have their central offices here. Thirty years ago a group of high ranking leaders felt inspired to invest their church funds in the commodity markets. Since they were close buddies with God, it was obviously a no brainer. It did not work out well. I believe 7 of these guys ended up in prison. One of the wives of these inspired ministers divorced her husband and married an engineer that reported to me in my group. I got to hear a bit about what happened on a personal level. Hubris seems to have no bounds.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/08/2017 04:32PM by Eric K.

You could ask the same of psychics, too. I guess it's easier pickings defrauding the gullible.

The protection racket he's running is much easier.

I mean, you just tell people to give you money and they fork it over!

Give to Caesar what is Caesar's...

Celestial capitol v. human capitol.

God inhabits the cosmos. The Universe is his oyster.