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Posted by: SLDrone ( )
Date: August 15, 2017 02:43PM

Greetings RfM! I know I’ve been long absent from the ranks, honestly because I didn’t have anything new to say. Recent events give me cause to ponder and once again to write.

ANGELS AMONG US (those who have ears to hear will understand)

As the news of his death spread, hundreds of friends in Hawaii mourned his loss in the most beautiful way. As his brothers and sisters flew to Hawaii from the mainland, the community of friends in Honolulu and surrounds began to organize a beautiful Hawaiian celebration of life. A few days later it was held under the ironwood trees of Waikiki. There was no pretense, only a humble celebration of life. As participants settled to the ground, a Hawaiian Kahuna led a spiritual prayer in traditional Hawaiian tongue, where he called on the gods of the 4 corners of the Earth and announced the arrival of a very special soul. His family was dressed in white as is the Hawaiian custom. His brother gave a heartfelt recounting of their childhood, a beautiful musical number sung by a women whom he had accompanied on occasion (he was a gifted pianist), and a graceful rendition of Hula meant to comfort him and fill his sails with cool Hawaiian breezes for the journey. At the end the participants (and there were many) walked from the grass down to the breakwater and as they sang Aloha-Oe (farewell to thee) they threw their beautiful leis of yellow flowers in the ocean and watched them float to sea. It was THE MOST spiritual and beautiful celebration I have ever witnessed. Of course I was mourning and I felt the loss deeply, but I was also reminded of a beautiful life and how fortunate I was to have ever known him.

A very good friend recently passed away. Someone that I love a great deal. He was one of the most “Christ like” people I’ve ever known. Always with a broad smile and a kind word. Never happier than when in the service of others, he sought out ways to serve those more in need than himself. He was not a wealthy man in terms of the World. But he left thousands behind that remember him with a broad smile and a grateful heart for having ever known him. He gave freely of his time, his love, and his support. AND he was gay. (it matters you’ll see why)

My friend was born on the Island of Oahu and spent the early years of his life there. He always considered it his home. At the age of 8 through family circumstances he was placed in foster care and then adopted by a Mormon family in Utah. (many of his family live in Utah) From that point he was raised LDS, served a mission at 19 and by all accounts he loved the Church at that time in his life.

Sometime shortly after his return from his mission, he decided to return to his roots and attend BYU Hawaii, and so back to the Islands he went, his heart had never left. During this time shortly after returning from his mission and now busy in college courses he came to accept that he was indeed gay. It was something that he’d fought and denied until then . He still loved the Church, but he finally felt the need to be true to himself too. He embraced his orientation with PRIDE and gusto just like he did everything else in his life. He volunteered for outreach programs; he organized support groups and a monthly pot luck dinner for an HIV support group. As with all other aspects of his life he searched for ways to serve. He was always willing to drop everything and give the shirt off his back to help someone.

Through this service he began to see the harm being done to his community by his Church. He went through some profound and painful years torn between his past and his present. Eventually (about the time of Prop 8) he’d had enough and he walked away from his former “faith”. He didn’t attack, he didn't argue with his family, he didn’t feel bitterness, none of that was in him, it wasn’t his nature.

He died of unknown causes. The medical examiner says there was no foul play and that it appears to have been a peaceful passing. No sign of drugs in his home, no known cause. Perhaps a toxicology report will reveal more, or perhaps it was just his time. He wasn’t quite 40 yet, still a young man.

A week or so after the Hawaiian celebration of life, his adopted family in Utah arranged for a customary LDS funeral. As can be expected there was a lot of diversity in the congregation, but it was Utah, his old Mormon neighborhood where he grew up, so the congregation of mostly LDS. His brother once again rose and recounted their childhood, although this retelling was a bit more muted and without some of the previous detail. Never the less it was heartfelt and good. Then his sister rose to sing “His Hands” and it was indeed beautiful, her voice was angelic as she struggled to maintain he composure. THEN things turned less comforting.

The “priesthood” took over with a succession of 3 speakers, none of them really talking much about my friend and instead using the time to espouse their various religious dogmas. It was impersonal and had nothing to do with the life of my friend, nor did it celebrate all that he had meant to so many of us. Finally after a half hour of dogma and superstition the Stake President as the “presiding authority” rose to inform us in a sickeningly sweet voice that “we” should not judge because Christ himself would judge my friend for the many “wrong choices” that he made. He referred to these “bad choices” several times. The implication of course being that being gay is a choice. It was the most backhanded slap in the face I think I’ve ever heard at a funeral. I know he was speaking to his “people”, but to the many of us that knew my friend, we knew that he was more a “man of Christ” than this speaker could ever hope to aspire too. I was offended, as were many who knew that in his backhanded way this man was passing judgement.

As I contemplated the day I began to feel sorry for these Mormons. They are so caught up in their dogmas that they just can’t help themselves but to judge and condemn. So obsessed with human sexuality that they miss the beauty that surrounds them. So afraid of diversity that they don't feel the depth of human love right in their midst. My friend would have and did love them anyway. He would have forgiven on the spot and would not have let the offense last long, because that is how true love works. His name was Kurtlund James Mooney, he was a brother of my heart and my soul and I will always love him. I miss him.



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 08/15/2017 03:21PM by SLDrone.

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Posted by: Laban's Head ( )
Date: August 15, 2017 03:01PM

Thank you Drone. It was good to hear from you and this was beautiful. I'm glad your friend had the traditional Hawaiian send off and that you and his family, friends and loved ones have those memories to over ride the Mormon version. Mormon funerals are an abomination and are disrespectful to those who have passed.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: August 15, 2017 03:04PM

You have a gift for contrasts, SLDrone. Such beautiful words followed by some hard truths. Mormons don't even know how much they are losing by judging. You do have to feel sorry for them although I can rarely find it in me anymore. At a certain point they have to ignore a lot of beauty in order to stay that focused on maintaining the "Mormon superiority" they treasure so much.

I lost so many friends so young--all gay. Your post is deeply appreciated. I am very moved.

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Posted by: Anon370855V ( )
Date: August 15, 2017 03:07PM

SLD, you are much more polite than I.

I would have gotten up aqnd walked out when the so-called priesthood started its poisonous prattling.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: August 15, 2017 03:13PM

Your friend is honored by your eulogy for him.

It is beautiful. In stark contrast to the one by LDS leadership who didn't even know him or care about him as a person.

He was a better person than given credit by them. His life speaks for itself.

Wishing you shalom.

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Posted by: minnieme ( )
Date: August 15, 2017 03:24PM

sigh, I have such a hard time finding good feelings for Mormons when they do stupid selfish things like that.

A funeral is NOT a marketing opportunity. But it's almost always used as one by members.

At my daughter's wedding, (not in the temple) the stake president, (who my daughter loved) spent most of the ceremony chiding them for not getting married in the temple. Then warned them that they were just married for time so if anything happened to either of them this is all they'd get.

I really wanted to punch him afterward.

I pity members, caught in the ultimate pyramid scheme.

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Posted by: presleynfactsrock ( )
Date: August 15, 2017 05:03PM

I am sorry for your loss and I hope that your fond memories of your times shared will fill your heart.

I appreciate your post and thank you for it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/15/2017 05:03PM by presleynfactsrock.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: August 15, 2017 05:25PM

Hello, SLDrone! Always nice to see you here. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

You would think a funeral would be the ONE time where religious leaders could let go of judgment and condemnation. I guess not. Sounds like the Hawaiians got it right.

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Posted by: MexMom ( )
Date: August 15, 2017 06:04PM

What beautiful words for your beautiful friend! I'm so sorry for your loss. If only we could all be more like him. Thank you for sharing a little bit of him with us. We are richer for it. Sending you healing hugs from this MexMom.

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Posted by: pollythinks ( )
Date: August 15, 2017 06:21PM

My husbands funeral service was held in the chapel.
While the service was being planed, I directed that I didn't want any Mormon preaching throughout.

Happily, my wishes were respected, and we had a lovely 'memories' service, which included one of my sons throwing a homemade light-wooden plane my husband had crafted, right out over the audience.

Sometimes things work out just right.

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Posted by: Happy_Heretic ( )
Date: August 15, 2017 06:38PM

Drone:

Big hugs and thanks for sharing!

Much Love,

HH =)

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Posted by: CL2 ( )
Date: August 15, 2017 08:25PM

I saw your post. I had to check the date. I, of course, had to stop and read. I have saved other posts of your's and I will save this one, too.

I love the picture you paint of his funeral in Hawaii. So sad that he died so very young. It is amazing how much lack of empathy mormons have.

I am very sorry for your loss.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/15/2017 08:25PM by cl2.

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Posted by: Devoted Exmo ( )
Date: August 15, 2017 08:50PM

It's moments like these where the Mormons turn off even their own. The young people aren't holding these same opinions and it's a good thing. There are truly brighter days ahead because of your friend and his exemplary life. Angels indeed.

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Posted by: Laban's Head ( )
Date: August 16, 2017 09:07AM

When my husband was dying the bishop came over to talk about "arrangements". I gave him the outline that hubby had made for his funeral. Bishop didn't like it. Where was the "plan of salvation" talk? I told him that my husband wasn't dying so the church could have another sacrament meeting. I told him that we would like to have the funeral at the church but were happy to make other plans if needed because hubby was going to have the funeral HE wants not the one Packer wants.

We had it at the church. Bishop said it was the nicest funeral he had ever attended.

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Posted by: tutu ( )
Date: August 16, 2017 12:06PM

Your friend is definitely an angel......I wish I had known him. I have family in Hawaii but I've never experienced the beauty of a Hawaiian memorial. I will never forgot your loving words. Your friend will live on in my heart.
Thank You (Mahalo) for sharing. I honor the memory of Kurtland James Mooney.

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Posted by: SLDrone ( )
Date: August 16, 2017 03:38PM

Thank you so much to all of you for honoring Kurt with your kind words. A reminder to all of us that there is so much more beauty in the Universe when we live a life based on love instead of judgement. If I learned anything from him, it was that.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: August 17, 2017 02:25PM

Wonderful to see you back. I have thought about you lots, wondering how--and for that matter, what--you're doing. Best regards.

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