Date: August 11, 2017 12:45PM
I'm looking for a little advice. Any "words of wisdom" (snort!) are welcome.
My TBM brother lives in a different state. We have had our ups and downs, going from being very close to not speaking. He married a TBM, and his wife actually seems quite tolerant of me and my disbelief, as does my brother. We normally communicate by social media or (less frequently) phone calls. However, the last two times we have seen each other in person, the result has been the same. I have a good time -- I perceive that he is also having a good time -- we both go home -- he gives me the silent treatment.
The last time, I asked him what was wrong, and what I may have done. Long story short, a huge argument erupted and I worked very hard to apologize and mend our relationship. (Even though my wrongdoing was very small. I felt like I really went overboard with the effort in proportion to the size of the slight, but I love my brother and want a relationship with him.)
Fast foward to today, and it has happened again. He is no longer responding to me, and to be honest, I'm afraid to make a phone call. I have a lot of mixed feelings, from
hurt - because the silent treatment is hurtful
confusion - because I don't know what I did to "wrong" him
anger - because he's the one wrecking our relationship
Not to mention I feel it's a very childish way to deal with hurt feelings. Grudgeholding seems to be a specialty of TBMs, at least in my family.
I should note that his TBM wife has not changed her interactions with me. We don't really speak that much, but I doubt she's angry with me, or feeding him any animosity. This is all coming from him.
After going through all the crawling and apologizing last time, I just don't feel like it's worth it this time. Even if it works, there's no guarantee he won't do this again. I am leaning toward just letting him go. Not "cutting him off," because if he ever contacted me to make amends or let bygones be bygones, I'm open to that. But if he doesn't want to interact with me, I'm not going to crawl this time. It's sad and it's a shame, but that's what I'm leaning to.
What say ye, O exes of the Morg?