Date: August 21, 2017 11:12AM
I was once in an abusive relationship and that was one of that guy's favorite weapons against me. I was telling my best girlfriend about it, and was super confused because I hadn't really done or said anything to warrant being totally shut out. Being subjected to the Silent Treatment® is very triggering for me because my parents did that to each other and it makes for a horrible atmosphere at home, which should be your refuge and place of peace.
So my friend said, "The Silent Treatment® is a tool of control."
Boy, did that realization change everything for me. The point of doing that to someone is to withdraw love/attention/affection until the person acts the way the manipulator/controller wants that person to act.
Whenever someone pulls this on you (any "you," not just the OP), remember that person is trying to control your behavior. What they want is for you to come crawling to them, begging for their affection/love/attention again. When you figure out how they want you to act, they will start talking to you again.
There's two ways to deal with this, IMO.
1. Just accept it and cut this person out of your life. Go no contact, do not respond to any form of contact, just let that person go. There's no love there, only a goal to control you, which is the opposite of love.
2. Act like you haven't noticed the Silent Treatment®. I love this one and I did this to my ex once I realized what he was doing. I'd call him, turn up at his house, whatever, with my usual chirpy, happy-go-lucky banter, completely ignoring the fact that he wasn't responding. If I asked a question, he'd refuse to answer (or even make eye contact), so I'd just forge on, pretending like he had answered me and had given me the answer I wanted to hear so I'd move forward based on the positive response I heard in my head. It drove him batshit. Heh.
Finally, the last time he did it, the reason was so stupid and petty that I was just done. I used the few days of peace and solitude to get all his stuff (that was in my house) together and toss it out on my front porch -- to be dragged to the curb on trash day. I settled up the bills, determined what he still owed me, got the locks changed on my house... Pretty much executed my "escape from abuse" plan. Told people what I was doing because I knew that breaking up is the most dangerous time when you're in an abusive relationship. Made sure there were people around I could rely on to back me up if I didn't feel safe.
Eventually, he called me to reconcile, so I told him there was no need and I wasn't interested and his stuff was on my porch and if he didn't pick it up within a couple days, it was going out with the rest of the garbage (him). I told him not to call me, text me, email me, or contact me in any way whatsoever. I had given him a phone on my plan, which he had paid his fair share of. I told him he was paid up through XYZ date at which point, I'd cut him off and his phone plan would then be his problem.
He was pretty much okay with all this except he tried like hell to use all the minutes and cost me a bunch of money. Like, it seemed like he'd call tech support or customer service line and then just set the phone down for a couple hours. Fine. I was logging in to my provider's site every day to keep an eye on the minutes he was using -- and also tracking every single one of his phone calls. I knew exactly who he was talking to, when, and for how long. When he got to within about 50 minutes of going over my limit (thus costing me a fortune), I called my provider, cut off the phone and paid a ton of money to end that contract and do another. Totally worth every penny.