Wow... I am totally stunned by a FB post I just saw. A friend of mine for many years just posted a message that his oldest daughter is returning from her mission in six days. Wow, he is calling her by some WEIRD name, which he has been doing since just before she left... that in itself is beyond bizarre, but what I find SO very sad, is that he sounds completely detached in every possible way.

Instead of saying he and his family love her and are happy that she is coming home, he posted that she is arriving on such and such date, and will be speaking at some function just a few days later. It's like some newspaper blurb... NO love, no emotion, no nothing.

WTF??? I can only begin to imagine what is REALLY going on in this girl's head, even though I'm sure that her multi generation LDS family influence drowns out any free thinking at all. Just waiting to see an upcoming wedding announcement, because you know, she's so worldly and mature after serving the Lard.

Truly, I know my friend loves his family, but I am still shocked at the cold, cold, cold way he is behaving towards her. Family my ass... the Morg is nothing but a sick, greedy cult. A mindfuck... that is, if there is any mind left after an entire life of manipulation, indoctrination, and guilt trips.

Where was her mission? Lots of times they sister missionaries use the native word for sister just as the males use elder so you get some weird titles many think of as names.

Heartless Wrote:
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> Where was her mission? Lots of times they sister
> missionaries use the native word for sister just
> as the males use elder so you get some weird
> titles many think of as names.

Thank you SO much Heartless! I never connected the dots... you are exactly right! :-)

Her mission was in Mexico and the "name" being used translates to "sister".

I know it's the LDS culture, but it still weirds me out that he would call his own daughter by anything other than her given, and pretty, first name. Mostly though, it is sad to see such a lack of love and emotion, especially since she's been gone for so long. :-(



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2017 04:07PM by cynful.

I'd probably reply to the post with the comment "It's wonderful that (first name) is finally coming home, and I'm sure you'll be so relieved and happy to have her here after being separated from her for so long. I'm sure you've missed her!"

And just leave it as that.

kestrafinn (not logged in) Wrote:
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> I'd probably reply to the post with the comment
> "It's wonderful that (first name) is finally
> coming home, and I'm sure you'll be so relieved
> and happy to have her here after being separated
> from her for so long. I'm sure you've missed
> her!"
>
> And just leave it as that.

Thank you kestrafinn! :-) I LOVE that suggestion... just perfect!

I agree. In this case you have to model appropriate behavior to him, i.e. "You must be so excited that DD is coming home! How wonderful for you all."

The father is detached because he is no longer the token "returned missionary" and now has to share that title with a "girl" and he HATES it and is showing her how he really feels about her to remind her of her place.

No joke.

Did she come home early?

Lori C Wrote:
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> The father is detached because he is no longer the
> token "returned missionary" and now has to share
> that title with a "girl" and he HATES it and is
> showing her how he really feels about her to
> remind her of her place.
>
> No joke.
>
> Did she come home early?

Many thanks to everyone for all of your insight and responses- I really appreciate them! :-)

Lori, again, something I didn't even think about in regard to the dynamics of the situation. Wow... one up games even in the family, just to prove his upper hand... so very sad, but in fact quite true. :-( No, she did not come home early... considering that she attended college and lived at home prior to her mission, I'm sure 18 months in Mexico was a SHOCK in every possible way for this young woman, but of course she would never let on. As her Dad, I would have been SO fearful for her safety and well being, but NOOOOOO... it was ALL about, "You'll be the perfect missionary and are bringing recognition and praise to the family." UGH.

And Summer, thank you too! I LOVE your comment about modeling appropriate behavior by making a loving and thoughtful comment to my friend. I can't express how sad it makes me that someone else has to do this... it's the Morg at work in that family. :-(



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2017 06:19PM by cynful.

I think the use of Sister/Elder over their own given names is another way the cult demonstrates ownership over the members. I was so happy to hear my own name when I flew home at the end of my mission. I told the other guys that accompanied me on the plane not to call me "elder" anymore.

messygoop Wrote:
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> I think the use of Sister/Elder over their own
> given names is another way the cult demonstrates
> ownership over the members. I was so happy to hear
> my own name when I flew home at the end of my
> mission. I told the other guys that accompanied me
> on the plane not to call me "elder" anymore.

Oh yes, messygoop, I totally agree... it's another way for TSCC to remove one's identity and individuality, and make it easier to manipulate them into mindless sheeple.

I just posted a brief but loving comment to my friend... I was the ONLY person that called his daughter by her name and wished them all joy over her upcoming return. As to be sadly expected, everyone else droned on and on and on about her mission... absolutely nothing personal or even thoughtful about her or her life. Wow. :-(

Hermana Susana. The Argentines couldn't pronounce my last name. The sounds not in their language.

Phantom Shadow Wrote:
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> Hermana Susana. The Argentines couldn't pronounce
> my last name. The sounds not in their language.

Hi Susana! :-) Thank you... it is most definitely Hermana (sister ), that I mistook for a name.

Thank you all for so much insight and information- it is most appreciated. I love the RfM community so much! :-)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2017 08:11PM by cynful.

"The father is detached because he is no longer the token "returned missionary" and now has to share that title with a "girl" and he HATES it and is showing her how he really feels about her to remind her of her place."


Psychobabble nonsense. You can read his mind? Isn't it tiring having to turn everything into an anti-women agenda? What if her mom was saying the same thing? You don't think any church women use LDS lingo when describing people?

Overreacting much? It was a Facebook post announcing her return. He doesn't have to go on about his daughter and be all emotional over it. People get too crazy about social media. What matters is of be tells his daughter in person to her, how much he loves her and is proud, etc. That's what is really important.

^^^ How funny. No, actually I'm not, I was making a comment about what I observed. Geez, the entire family hasn't seen the girl in almost 2 YEARS, and he announces her return like she's someone he barely knows. No, he doesn't have to gush love and emotion, but he made it sound like some stranger. Just weird to me. And whatever, HE posted it on social media for ALL to see. When one does that, one can expect to receive comments about what others read and observe.