I've refrained from sharing this story because it's a bit sophomoric in nature, but it illustrates more follies of the lousy church and the priesthood.

Jeff and I were priests that never let the church get in the way of having fun when we were supposed to be reverent. It was fast and testimony Sunday and Jeff was saying funny things about having a "Big Mac Attack" while we were breaking bread during the SM song. I was the bread man and I really had to ignore his comments or I was going to crack up at his joking. As it was, Jeff himself began to lose it by laughing at his own comments. About this time, Bob the water man, started to laugh out loud. A sudden thump on the wall caught our attention. It was Brother Drip, our YM prez, who watched us like a hawk. He had caught our shenanigans and a big lecture on reverence would likely be heading our way during today's priest quorum.

We settled down and administered SM without further incident. We continued to sit in front of SM table as TBM's began their snoozefest. We were no longer dismissed to sit with our families as a 6 month punishment for the entire Aaronic Priesthood. The YM prez squeezed into the pew of the deacons as part of his SM monitoring of behavior. He continued to snap his fingers as we priests goofed off in front of him. The talk of a Big Mac persisted. Jeff then flashed a twenty from his pocket and said "Come on Messy. You drive and I'll buy. This will be the greatest Sunday ever." I could taste McDonalds in my mind.

We planned to go during Sunday School. It was a simple plan because I already had my mother's car keys from driving that morning. What I didn't know was that Jeff was trying add more people to our Big Mac attack. He lined up 3 girls to go with us. Prissy was kind of a snob, but agreed to go with her non-member friend Kelly. Prissy's younger sister Rhonda was also supposed to go with us, but her CTR ring kicked in at the last minute. Rhonda's refusal to go with us would greatly impacted our trip as you will soon discover.

I drove to our rendezvous at McDonalds drive thru. As we pulled up to the board, Jeff leaned across me from the passenger's seat and hollered "Give us some free food!" There was silence for a moment. "Is that you Jeff?" Jeff shouted again, "Yeah man it's me. I got Messy and some girls from school. Hook us up with some eats." We were told to pull up to the window. We were given free burgers and fries in 3 separate bags. It was great; especially on a fast Sunday.

Jeff said "Let's drive around and eat." This seemed too good to be true. As I exited slowly from the drive thru, a white Camaro cut us off in the parking lot. It skidded to a stop. Two men exited in white shirts and ties. Brother Macho, the father of both Prissy and Rhonda, began screaming for Prissy to leave my car. Kelly was also told to exit my car. Brother Drip slowly walked over to Jeff and told us not to move. It was as we had been arrested by the FBI! Brother Macho, being so enraged, walked over to me. I thought that he was going to deck me. Instead he reached in and grabbed the 3 bags of food. He continued to scream "What the hell are you doing! You think that you can kidnap my daughter and get away with it. Just wait until you get back to the church. You're in so much trouble. God dam you two!"

Brother Macho laid more rubber on his way back to church. I never saw him again that Sunday. Brother Drip rode in the back of my car with a confiscated bag of fast food firmly clenched in one hand. After we arrived, Drip ordered us to sit on the grass in front of the church. It was his version of public punishment. I let Jeff answer Drips interrogations. He was very annoyed that Jeff and I had set a poor example for a potential investigator. We were told that Jesus was so disappointed that we were barred from entering the ward building. Jeff stood up and told him that he needed to use the bathroom. Drip countered Jeff and pushed him down. Jeff bounced up and ran away from Drip.

Nobody from the BP directly addressed this incident with ppi's. However, Brother Drip contacted our parents. My mom was more amused by the entire incident, but she agreed with the consequence. We were told that we had to be walked to our meetings and that we were barred from partaking of SM for 2 months. This was blessing because it was a vacation from blessing the SM! We were a small group of 5 priests.

Hilarious.
But you never even got a bite of the burgers? Aww...

I've got similar stories. I'm sure lots of others who grew up in the church do, too. So many self-righteous pricks determined to force teens to be obedient, without an ounce of humor, love, compassion, or understanding. What a cult.

Cute funny story. Being a hard ass about religion with teens is not likely to go over well. A little innocent rebellion is hardly the end of the world. Those leaders were taking their religion too seriously, which is a common cult attribute.

Hysterical. Mormons. High on the Priesthood and taking prisoners! Haha. "You vil do vhat ve say, or else!"

I just wanted to add that this is an old story; about 1990. PH leaders used to get away with over reactions to minor teenage rebellions. Such strong arm tactics would not go over well in today's world.

somehow, this is OK? You got NO remuneration for it, right?

Isn't there a prohibition, both legally and religiously, against stealing???

I suppose it was technically OK because they were adults and you were underage, but still. . .

Of course, the outcome was completely wrong. In the Mormon church, who can you complain to when a PH leader is really abusing his power?

When members try to go a higher up to complain, it was often perceived as "criticizing the leaders". Members used to be expected to look the other way when a leader was acting anything less than Christ-like.

I learned the hard way while serving a mission. I spoke up for other missionaries that were clearly victims of Mormon leadership bullying and verbal abuse. The only person that I thought would and could make it right was my mission president. I couldn't have been more wrong. He was upset that I wasn't focusing on my imperfections (which impeded my lack of gazillion baptisms due to lack of personal worthiness) instead of "trivial matters." I suppose that I could have written to the general authority to complain about my asshat MP, but I doubt that it would have done any good. I was told over and over to stop rocking the boat.

In the case of taking food from lowly teenage priests, how do you think a bishop or stake president would have viewed the incident?

-Not reporting to joint priest-laurels Sunday School
-Leaving church without telling anyone where we going
-Listening to non church music on the radio
-Being un-chaperoned (although Jeff sat shot-gun there was no hanky panky in the car)
-Not fasting
-Forcing non-members to work Sundays
-Losing the "spirit" by acting happy and giving in to being hungry

Did the adults set a poor example too? You betcha!
-driving wreckless, speeding, screeching tires
-out of control anger, screaming, and hissy-fit
-swearing and taking the lords name in vain
-pushing a teenager because he didn't like his attitude
-forcing us to sit on the grass in direct sun on a hot day
-taking food that didn't belong to them (we never learned what happened to it, but I think someone ate it)

We can only surmise that church leaders would have overlooked the actions of the adults and focused their attention on the youth making poor choices.

I can understand some correction after rowdiness during the sacrament. Respect should be given to any religious ceremony by any creed. However, the punishment of being forced to sit on the stand for months is a little far reaching. The dork in charge should have simple stated something like. "we appreciate their willingness to server but would publicly like to remind them of the reverence associated... " in most cases the humiliation of being called out over the pulpit would have ended any future issues.
Skipping class to buy burgers isn't a big deal. any the gestapo reaction is funny. Kidnapping implies forced confinent. I bet the girls willingly went and had enough time elapsed. the boys may have progressed to the "chewed gum" stage...

anontodayandtomorrow Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Respect should be given to
> any religious ceremony by any creed.

Respect is earned, not automatically deserved.

No Mc D's in Lethbridge when I was a teenager. But there was a convenience store 2 blocks from the chapel that we'd make a beeline for as soon as P-hood meeting was over. Give up 2 meals to abide by another stupid fucking church rule?...not likely.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2017 06:25PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

Wow! Teens going to McDonalds.

What horrible monsters you are.