I have been out of the cult for a couple of months,(at first because of differences with other members, then I discovered that everything i had believed was/is a fraud), now the members who really appreciate me came to take me back to church,the problem is that they are People in their 70's (two of them are widows) and I don't know how to told them that I'm not going to return to church without breaking their hearts

You are making a very reasonable life choice. You are not in charge of how other people feel about that. Those people are responsible for their own feelings.

I would tell them, "I've decided that the Mormon church is no longer the right place for me. I respect that you feel differently about it. I would love to still be friendly with you, but trying to get me to come back to the Mormon church is a non-starter."

That's good.

It's *really* good :)

Thanks, that's a good way of saying that I wouldn't return without saying all the causes (there are a lot, and I thing there would be even more later)

*I think there would be more later

I would tell them the reasons you no longer want to attend, so that they don't think that *they* have offended you in any way.

Being offended is something they might think they can change or make "your fault", but they cannot undo all the lies and fraud of the so-called-church.

You can say, "I have learned the LDS church is not at all what it represents." They might say, "The church is true". Then you can say, "We'll have to agree to disagree on that, but I still like and respect you. Hopefully you'll return the favor."

If you use the phrase "a non starter" with a 70 year old or older, they may not know what you're talking about. It's not a phrase they're usually familiar with.

Seriously?

Tell them that you're not too keen about staying around a dishonest religion. Then say being Mormon is no longer swell.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/05/2017 12:23AM by messygoop.

"now the members who really appreciate me came to take me back to church"

Or maybe it's an act, and they pretend to appreciate you just so they can bring you back to church.


"they are People in their 70's (two of them are widows) and I don't know how to told them that I'm not going to return to church without breaking their hearts"

They're widows. Their husbands died; I think that was a bigger blow to them than you not coming to church. They managed to carry on after that, I'm sure they'll survive just fine this time as well.

By the time people get to their 70s, life has already thrown some pretty nasty things at them. Your inactivity will pale by comparison.

Break their hearts.

Mormons love to pretend that you quitting the Church is almost
making them suicidal with heartbreak.

It's an act. Any good salesman appearss heartbroken when you
start acting like you're not going to buy.

And remember--"every member a salesman."

Yeah there are a lot of fakies in TSCC, but at least here (Argentina) there are people who just don't know anything about church history apart from the official version, and for this I want to tell them that I'm not going to return without saying everything I know about it (church history) which is like saying "You live a fraud for 50 years" which is pretty horrible (I was furious when I found out how the church lies and I was a Mormon for 2 years)

They assigned a 80 year old ex stake president to call and 'work with me'. He died of heart problems, a year after calling me.

I was pretty clear with him, the first time he called, that he was really a 'super pawn' for the SCAM by putting in all that time as Stake president and bishop and should be ashamed of himself. I told him I was ashamed of myself for accepting the callings I had without studying more about what they 'didn't talk about in church classes', namely the history of JS and Brigham Young and what they really taught, prophesied and did.

He said he wanted to call me each month on the phone. I said that would be great as I would like to 'unload on a Mormon' once a month.

Guess what, no additional calls came from the church for anything ----- I have no idea why?

They are genuine in their efforts to bring you back, like a pair of traveling Visiting Teachers.

About as genuine as the religion they adhere to.

When you stop going and terminate your membership they'll lose interest in you soon enough, once they realize you aren't coming back.

It isn't that they will stop being 'uncaring' in their approach to winning souls etc. It has more to do with you now inhabit a different world from theirs - as in a different virtual reality.

There must be 50 ways to leave your cult.

Slip out the back, Jack.

Be as kind as you can when you tell them and remember that you didn't promise them you'd stay in their organization forever or take responsibility if they're they're sad over your leaving.

Mormons are trained to cry and lament when someone leaves and that isn't your fault.

Yep, the Mormon Church does a profoundly thorough job of indoctrinating its members, doesn't it? Guilting each one to the ying-yang to make sure they do their mishy duties, even going so far as to yank offenders out of a dead sleep to get them to their Sunday meetings.

Keep us posted as to how your friendship lasts with these people after you tell them your news. Unless they are an exception, and I hope so, it will disappear.

Ok, I will post later (hope it will have a happy ending but if not, well it's not my fault) , thanks for the help :)