Even after all of the non-TSCC-approved history I exposed to my Mormon wife, it may actually be beer that lures her away from the flock.

Last night I ended up sharing two beers with her...a sign of true love if ever there was one. She liked the smell of the first one, and found that she liked the taste after a couple sips. After we finished off the first bottle, she asked, "What else do you have chilling in the man-cave?"

Last week, while we were enjoying a warm evening on the patio, served up a couple glasses of sangria poured over ice and watermelon.

Last month she mentioned out-of-the-blue that she thinks she's inactive because she really hasn't been in the mood to go to church recently, and doesn't really feel too guilty about it. Since then, she's been suggesting that maybe religions are nothing more than man-made frameworks to encourage accepted behavior without requiring people to actually think about what is right or wrong, or even why.

Yes, I realize the doubts and questions actually preceded the beer, but I like to think that it was the example of her beer-drinking husband that led to those doubts and her questions about what beer goes best with Caesar salad.

Ah, alcohol.
Reducing human inhibitions for thousands and thousands of years.
Including your wife's. :)
Well done.

I actually told a hard-core TBM former youth friend that I ran into a few years ago, who was going on about how I'd let everyone down by leaving, etc. that what he really needed was to have a beer and chill out.

Sadly, he didn't take me up on the offer.
Glad your wife did!

I love the way this was put:

" . . .nothing more than man-made frameworks to encourage accepted behavior without requiring people to actually think about what is right or wrong, or even why."

I like that slant. Do people really learn right and wrong at church? Isn't that kind of innate anyway or easy to learn in a very short time if one is paying attention in life? Does an adult really need a refresher course each Sunday?

Is church just the lazy man's way out?

The time sitting with someone and having a beer or glass of wine is a treasure. And isn't getting a Ceasar salad just right one of the most important parts of the whole "right and wrong" dilemma anyway?

My wife has been surprising me a lot lately in a number of small ways, such as the occasional beer, not attending church, and generally acknowledging that she doesn't need to fear a life without the church.

Soon after we married a few years ago, we had several arguments, some of them quite bitter, about the church and my refusal to convert. I threw out everything I learned about the church, but she would insist they were all lies by "the adversary" and his followers. I eventually learned that it was best to simply avoid any talk of religion and to just keep mum whenever she went on about how great and wise the church was for something or another.

Now, she is repeating back to me things that I had said years ago, though more concisely (which is a departure from her standard rambling ways), such as her observation about religions being man-made frameworks.

I'm almost afraid to comment on her recent behavior for fear that I will jinx it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2017 11:42AM by nyetmo.

>>"I'm almost afraid to comment on her recent behavior for fear that I will jinx it."


I'm still learning to be human, and IMHO, while the teacher or mentor can certainly contribute to the growth of others, the student owns the accomplishment.

If you comment, let her own it. Whatever you've done seems to be getting through, so please be as thoughtful in your end-game as you have been up to now. I guess I'm saying to let her be the one to start any victory dance. Let her define and design any grad party. If she stays the course and still needs help, she knows whom to ask - her best buddy.

If she has a lapse back into moism, the falsity likely won't last (many here "re-tried" that bowl of sh##), so just bide your time.

I'm so happy for you it's ridiculous, so I can imagine your feelings about it all. Jinxing is not real, but stealing someone's thunder can put a kink in things. She's lucky to have you, and someday, my wish for you, her thunder will come to let you know that she knows that.

>>Since then, she's been suggesting that maybe religions are nothing more than man-made frameworks to encourage accepted behavior without requiring people to actually think about what is right or wrong, or even why.

Your wife has a good insight.

Some drinks are so perfectly matched to a warm summer day or evening! After a hot day, there is nothing so good as an ice cold beer. I tend to favor mild beers, and my treats this summer have included the occasional Corona and the divine Italian beer, Peroni. I saw a man carrying a 6-pack of Peroni out of a store yesterday, and I about wanted to follow him home! :)

As you have observed, Sangria is also perfectly matched to warm weather, as are Margaritas, especially if Mexican food is on order. And sometimes a crisp G&T hits the spot.

Salud!

Jehovah, Michael--get me a beer.

Pay Lay Ale!

We will go down.
To the liquor store.
And then return & report.

It is delicious to the taste and VERY desirable! Satan's Boner.

I can't for the life of me figure out how beer got such a bad rap in Mormonism. Isn't it a "mild barley drink?" Didn't our colonial ancestors imbibe it freely? I'm at a loss. What could possibly be so bad about beer? SMH

Sounds wonderful. And I'm sure it has to do with how well you've treated her. I hope things keep going your way.

Follow those up with Great Sex, & you're On Your Way!

Ahem *cough* Yes...well...we have engaged in alternate activities in lieu of going to church on Sundays.

nyetmo Wrote:
---------------------------------------
> Ahem *cough* Yes...well...we have engaged in
> alternate activities in lieu of going to church on
> Sundays.
===================================
Hey, if you want to make it a little more speerchul, try reading Song of Solomon to each other!

My Catholic wife wasn't much of a drinker until she met me. Still isn't really but I have expanded her booze horizons in the last 44+ years. She is not a beer drinker but likes Guinness and a couple Christmas's ago she developed a liking for single malt scotch. She also loves Caesar's....

My Catholic family, including myself, didn't drink much until my British BIL (and soccer player/coach, to boot) entered the picture about 15 yrs ago. I'd say that our alcohol intake spiked, but is it really a spike when it doesn't come back down?

My wife and I both need to lose some weight, so we're trying to eat a little healthier; thus, the salads, our limited (but frivolous) carb of choice, and our Sunday workout.

In recent years I've adopted a quality over quantity strategy. One beer with supper and if friends are over for a visit maybe 2 or three.

Is it dyslexic if I first read the title of this thread as:

"Another bear, deer?"

I was hoping there was some hot nature talk afoot...

As Always, let a spouse Find Themself in these things; pressure will usually bring blow-back, often resentment.

"Members" are happy with Momism for a reason, ya know...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/19/2017 11:47PM by GNPE.

Alcohol is another religion. Tastes bad, is toxic, expensive, and potentially ruins lives and kills people on hiways, but Oh isn't it wonderful!

Had to fire a guy today as booze kept him from making it to work. He keeps texting me begging for his job - I think he'd have to be drunk to grovel like he is.

I have noticed a rather fondness for alcoholic beverages among many of those who post on this site. I have a different perspective.

We went inactive as a family 30 years ago. My 5 children went with us. I tried alcohol and decided there was more down side than up side so my wife and I decided not to use alcohol. My children made their own choices.

My oldest son, now 45 y/o, is awaiting a liver transplant. His employment included a lot of social drinking and he became an alocoholic. My youngest son loved beer and also became an alcoholic but was able to give it up and has been sober for two years now. However at age 39 he has had heart bypass surgery for a condition worsened by alcohol and smoking.

I have often wonder if we had remained active in the church if they would have stayed active and lived a lifestyle that would have avoided these health problems and the social and family problems that accompanies these problems.

Would I have stayed active in the church if I knew it would have made a difference. You bet!! Would I have become a believing TBM again? Never, can't be done.

There is no doubt that some people should avoid alcohol, and that everyone needs to avoid alcohol at specific times. No responsible drinker would say otherwise. It is true that alcoholism runs in families, so your sons' children will be aware of that. I hope that your oldest son gets his transplant.

You don't have to be a mormon to learn/practice healthy living.
Smoking is bad -- period. However, if you want to have a cigarette/cigar now and then, it won't cause much harm, and I hear it can be quite enjoyable. The issue is whether or not it's healthy for you and whether or not to engage even if it isn't -- it's not "god says so" like the mormons do.

Light/moderate drinking is not only "not bad," it can be very beneficial. Including helping prevent heart disease. Some people probably shouldn't drink at all. Once again, the issue is making personalized, informed decisions about your health and life -- it's not "god says no booze" like the mormons push.

Mormons have a "one set of commands fits all" mentality. And it's based on nonsense in the first place. Leaving mormonism doesn't mean you become an alcoholic any more than staying means you *won't* become one.

I just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS!!!