Part of my 40 yr recovery I've discovered is - recapturing my youth. Things I have denied myself trying to be something MORE.

When I joined the TSCC at the tender age of 21, I was told some my favorite music was 'not allowed' as it is 'not conducive to the spirit.' So, for a long time I did not listen to Pink floyd, Led Zep, Beatles, the Stones..................
So, for quite a time now today and the rest of the evening, I have been listening and watching Led Zeppelin -nonstop-videos on youtube. What a great place- youtube! I saw LZep, live, 4 times in my youth. OLD joke- "If gawd created music geniuses better than Led Zeppelin's, he kept them for himself."

You know the old saying, 'If gawd created anything better than sex, he kept it for himself!' Ha.

What I was told as a sheeple was bad, really isn't. My new sleeveless tops feel great on a HOT summer day, yeah, buddy! I went to the store and wally world in a cute sleeveless top and shorts above my knee. An 83 year old I drive around, saw me the other day and said "You don't have on much clothing do ya?" I laughed and said "it's hot."

Recovery is moving along nicely...
Anybody rediscovering old things we gave up for the morg?

You're never too old to have a happy childhood.

Good for you! Led Zep was a band that I never saw live, but I wish I had. If you want a very fun, juicy tell-all, read "I'm With the Band" by former groupie Pamela Des Barres. She spills the beans on many rock stars of the day including Jimmy Page and Robert Plant (whom she adored.)

In your honor, I've got a Google Play Music radio station going right now, blasting over the speakers in my office, that plays Led, Beatles, Pink Floyd, Stones, etc.

Yeah, that's my music, too. And yeah, they told me the same thing when I was a kid.

Screw 'em. Rock & roll! :)

Kool!

After almost everyone went home, I was tired and achy. An old injury to my low back has gone arthritic on me, and flares up painfully almost every day.

We bought a hot tub to help with this, and it is GREAT at relaxing muscles and reducing pain. I need narcotic painkillers sometimes, but sparingly, and I keep very precise about how much I have taken and when I took it. Some days, I can get by without any, so my doctor trusts me with the narcotics. I use them as a last resort, but at times, they are all that works.

Anyway, fairly late in the evening, my oldest son and my youngest daughter (41 and 31, respectively) were hanging around. My daughter asked if there was any "old people" music I wanted to listen to, and I mentioned Herman's Hermits, whom I have always enjoyed. She pulled up several of their songs via her phone, on You Tube.

We pulled out some Chateau Ste. Michelle - something sweet and white, I don't remember exactly, and I donned my swimsuit and got in the hot tub. It was very late, stars were out, and the hot tub felt great. And hanging with two of my kids, whose sense of humor is fairly raunchy, like their mother's - it was like Heaven.

We sipped the wine, enjoyed the hot tub, gossiped, laughed, and had a wonderful time, just being together. Totally digging Herman and the Hermits, loving the presence of my kids and the therapeutic effect of the hot tub - it was almost surrealistic. But incredibly wonderful. (DH was exhausted and had gone to bed hours before.)

I could smell the intoxicating fragrances of summer flowers, and it just added to the ambience. Great impromptu time!! Unexpected joyfulness like this is kind of like stumbling across jewels. Your life has suddenly become much richer.

A warm summer evening, two of my kids, a great party earlier, wine, music, and a hot tub - it was HEAVEN!!

Carpe Diem, indeed!

Happy birthday, Catnip! And many more to come!

Like stumbling across jewels...sounds like the perfect day...
Happy Birthday catnip.

There was a post a few days past about adopting cute kitties.
I wonder if we could adopt Cutekitty as well?

Cutekitty is up for adoption. I am an AO. Really. It is a recognized demographic at the census bureau, where I used to work. Oh, yes. AO. It means Adult Orphan. Both parents are dead.

Thank you, Cutekitty for your post!

I have been in agony with a chronic, painful, incurable condition I developed when I was 33. I do get remissions, however. Anyway, I needed to read your story today--it gave me hope and a moment of joy!

It's those little gem moments, that we live for! Yes, there is pleasure in the middle of pain. I struggled out of bed this morning, to play with my grandchildren on their swing set, and water the flowers. Three baby squirrels were chasing each other through the trees. The humming birds were at the feeder, and the jays were hiding food in the eaves of our roof. I worked my whole life (much of it while in pain) to be where I am now--and it is better than I ever imagined. The joy outweighs the pain.

See how we all help each other? I love it. I have never been on a site like this to chat with others. I am a dinosaur on computers. I can turn it on and navigate around, that's about it. I got a laptop a couple years ago, but moved and did not have internet where I am. But, I have it now and my life has changed since I found ex-mos and RfM.
Sorry about your chronic pain. I live with more than my fair share myself, as well. Best wishes coming your way.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/21/2017 11:01PM by cutekitty.

in that the guy that I really wanted to marry at age 20 has been back in my life for 12-1/2 years now. Memories of him kept me going in the really rough years. Hoped I'd see him again someday, but never believed it would come to this.

Music is a big thing. I was already rebelling against the music issues by the time I was married. I was already questioning, but still hanging on just in case. My kids love the old 1960s and 1970s music because I played it all the time, the stuff I deprived myself of in my teens and early 20s.

Well, life is getting easier out of the morg. mindtrap.

With the idiotic 'move out of the ward', when I live less than a mile from my old building, they are making my list for leaving a little longer. I can send the sp a letter to ask if I can stay in my old ward building, it is not automatic. What KRAP. I was told I couldn't hold a calling or pay tithing if I did not attend my new ward.

Fast forward... I had a religious experience today, not at church.
I worked today, on a sunday, all day. Came home, took a long nap, due to manual labor performed. THEN....here it is...

I found Led Zeppelin Rarities. OMG!!! In Jan. 2017, they released a 2hour, 40 minutes of LIVE Zeppelin in concert at Knebworth, on August 11, 1979. I was a sheeple then and did not listen to them anymore. This is an up close and personal footage of Zep in their prime. go to: YouTube 'Led Zeppelin: Knebworth August 11th, 1979 [Fully Filmed Concert]'. If you ever liked them, this is a must see.

It is a nice distraction from RfM.

don't you know that listening to that stuff causes you to become a communist drug addict ?

Just ask mormon bigwig Cleon Skousen.

I got the mormon monkey off my back!

Leaving Mormonism has been quite a journey for me too. Like being a newborn baby at 50.

Just today I noticed that I have a sense of self. I mean actual self, not a projection of what I thought I should be. It's so freakin' weird. Someone cut me off a little in traffic and I felt pissed in a way I never felt before. I'm like "WTF was that?". Dang, I have a self now.

Yes, I know my self is a mythology of my own creation, but at least I own it. I may have to have a talk with the tenant living in my head.

Part of staying young, is adapting to changes, learning new things, and going with the flow.

You adapt to any aches and pains and tiredness you feel. For example, take more frequent breaks, when you are working. The hot tub is a great example of this. Meditation is calming, and can help lighten the stress that comes with the pain.

You learn new things, such as the computer, and the internet, and how to rewire and hang a chandelier, how to fix a toilet (I fixed one this morning), how to maintain your car, how to do digital photography--mostly fun stuff!

You "go with the flow." Cutekitty, changes can become opportunities! If you are forced to attend the Mormon church, go ahead and attend your old ward! No God-written law is preventing you from doing so! God will love and bless you just as much, if you worship in a building that is "not assigned" by some arbitrary laymen. You have a right to go to the church of your choice, as most religious Americans do--and NOT pay tithing, and NOT labor in a calling. Seems ideal to me! You would be just following orders, right?

I haven't been to church since the beginning of June.

I have been in contact with some of my church peeps. They have kept me informed of what is going on.

I have absolutely NO intent on going back to a fake church. One of my dearest friends died last week and I did not darken the church doorway today for her funeral. When my mind was blown by ALL the stuff I never knew about, I wanted to puke my guts out. It was truly nauseating to find out what I thought I knew was right, was WRONG. All the krap of JS being a pedophile made me sick. And how he copied almost word for word other books to compile the bom!!

You can read a fictional novel a million times but, it will NEVER become true because it is fiction! Made up. Yes,it was a good story for the most part. I especially loved the book of Ether. But scientific evidence, language experts disputing 'translations' and all the sexual perversions have left this cutekitty a very lonely, old lady, with NO friends anymore.

I drive 5- 80+ year olds around for chump change. I value their opinion but, they are not my friends I can confide in. They are all phreaked out I do not go to church anymore and do not understand why?
I don't have to explain myself to anybody. Especially since it would cast a dark cloud over my judgement of life in general. Not going to church anymore does not make me a bad person. I did explain myself to my boss from my regular job. I assured him I was not going to become evil or criminal. I did say I am gonna cuss more. I am still the same sweet spirit, just damaged goods mentally.

After I puff about 50 more joints and listen to my devil music- Led Zeppelin, and learn the words to a few songs I never really knew, I MIGHT turn out ok.

I have been so offended by all I have learned about TSSC, my heart is so broken in 2. I want my money back for tithing, my money back for all the under-roos I have purchased and wore over the years. I want restitution for all the mind blowing temple ceremonies that left me scarred for life. I want my dignity back for telling people lies about how the church is the only true one on this planet. And, telling others about how JS was a true prophet, and how he translated the bom from ancient Egyptian heirogliphics. And the BoA???

What a absolute blind SHEEPLE I was.

The blinders are off now and I am on my way to a brighter day.
I want to tell all my friends from church how wrong everything is. If some of it is wrong, it ALL is. Temple stuff is the worst to forget. At least genealogy is worthwhile. We may not be sealed together for ATaE, but it is good to know your ancestors.

I have been reading about athiests, and am going to start a thread on organizing athiests and agnostics AND ex-mos. They have no political power because they are not organized.

It's 3am. Do you know where your heart is?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2017 12:49PM by cutekitty.

> I want my dignity back for telling people lies about
> how the church is the only true one on this
> planet. And, telling others about how JS was a
> true prophet, and how he translated the bom from
> ancient Egyptian heirogliphics. And the BoA???

I felt the same as you, the fact that I tough YM to see JS as an example makes me feel like crap but what hurted me the most was the fact that I baptized my mother, fortunately when I told her that I found that mormonism is a fraud, she listened to me and now she is out of the cult

>the fact that I tough YM
> to see JS as an example makes me feel like crap

*the fact that I taught YM

The toughest part for me was realizing that the GAs were nothing like they were cracked up to be. I obeyed those creeps without question for 40 years. They were supposed to be pursuing the greatest knowledge and highest ideals. Instead, they pursue cover-ups, social regression, and buffoonery. To top it all off, they are carefully vetted and chosen precisely because they are damned fools.

If believing in God makes you like them, that's a strong endorsement of Atheism. Regardless of beliefs, what we see is really all we need. All we have is each other. Isn't that enough? Our fellow humans aren't good enough, so we invent gods. It's a fool's game.

I'm happy you're getting some of your life back. I have several ex-Mormon Facebook friends, some of whom I have met in real life, who are excellent examples of people--especially women--getting their lives back. They have discovered a new wardrobe of clothing, done fun things with people you one thought you had to avoid, and have been enjoying life in general. As you get older, it becomes a bit late, but you have to do what you have to do. all you have to do is make up for some of the lost time.

I missed so much on my mission, and I want it back. I missed the current rock music, Credence Clearwater Revival's country rock, ballads of Gordon Lightfoot, and popular TV shows. And--most importantly--2 years of university. When I got back, people treated me like a dork because I didn't know what this or that musical group was, what Woodstock was, what had happened at Kent State, what happened with Apollo-13, etc. I looked like I had been living under a mushroom, which, figuratively, I had been.

So I want it back. I've told my wife that I may disappear for 6 months to a year doing stuff I had wanted to do, but didn't have a chance to because I lost 2 years of my life; she was none too happy about it. My words were, I'll take 0.25 to 0.50 cents on the dollar for the time away from home. I'm not sure if I will have the chutzpah to do it when the time comes (possibly within a year, insha'allah), but it's something I feel I need to do. Maybe just travel. Maybe do something more altruistic, something refugee related. Or maybe just teach English in Taiwan. But I want the time back.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/08/2017 07:43AM by cludgie.

Dear cludgie,

Good for you! Have fun traveling.

Facebook sounds like fun.
I do not twitter, tweet, or twerk. I do not have social media on my phone. Its a flip phone.
I have discovered un-covering for maximum comfort on a hot day. I have a different wardrobe now days.
The greatest thing is listening to old music with my ear buds on. I don't have a i-pad with music on it. My computer has a great sound system on it.
I would love to travel. Go back to Dutch Flat, CA, where I lived in my 20's. I would love to go biking and hiking there, again.
Life out of the morg. is getting better everyday. I feel like my life was raped by TSSC and now I am left to pick up the pieces and go on.........