I still attend even though I'm closeted non-believer. For the longest time it was a rule that if a woman was given a calling, they had to get the husband's approval first. Last week they made my wife RS counselor and I never heard word 1. That a new thing?

My husband was inactive when I was TBM. I received a calling as counselor in Primary. This was mid 2000's They never consulted my husband. Maybe it's only if you are called as president?

I think at some point they quit doing that.

In my Father's lifetime it was the rule. More than once he told the bishop no. He also would go to the bishop and tell him he was to release my mother from her calling.

About two years ago I told my mother's bishop not to give her anymore callings because of her age and health. He said they didn't consult the heads of households anymore. I looked him dead in the eye and told him he was to release her or I would enlighten him on just what lengths a "head of household" would go to get her released. She was released that evening.

Amazing, how the level of bullying drops once you start pushing back.

And then you leave. POUF - they are gone. Once they realize that you no longer drink the Kool-Aid, it's amazing how quickly they leave you alone. At least, they did with me.

My wife was called as the Primary 1st C. No one asked me. She told me after the fact. I would have no issue. I would have appreciated her discussing it with me (not "asking" me). On the other hand, it's her decision.

I think it depends on the bishop and getting the husband's approval is still done from time to time.

When I was on my way out of the church three years ago, the bishop approached my husband to ask if I would take a calling. That was definitely the wrong thing to do in that situation. It sealed the deal for me and I never went back.

Suppose the husband/father in a family is deceased, but there is a marginally active adult son. Under the old system, would the bishop confer with that son regarding callings for the females in the family? I'm thinking of the mother (widow) and teen sisters.

It used to be head of house hold.

The theory as explained to me was that the family was the basic unit of the church and no one in the family should be called without consulting the head of household.

If the son was not an adult nor acting as head of household then they would talk with the mother before asking the kids.

When my mother lived alone they wouldn't have asked me as the oldest son but when she moved in with my brother they would consult him.

I intervened for her as head of the family because she was being taken advantage of and it was physically harmful to her. She wouldn't ask to be released on her own.