I posted on here a while ago, and a couple people said I should give an update at some point, so here it is. For anyone who doesn't remember me, I'm a high schooler living in utah, and I'm personally atheist and exmo, even though I'm pretending to be TBM to be safe. I was called through a "strong spiritual prompting" by my bishop to be laurel president a while back, and I accepted it to avoid suspicion. After being president for a couple months, it's becoming more and more uncomfortable. Every week before mutual, my leader takes me to go to the houses of all the inactive girls and invite them, which feels very wrong (but luckily they're standing their ground and not giving in). I was put on our girls camp comitee, and being one of the older girls going, I'm in charge of "spiritual thoughts" each morning we're there, which also feels wrong. Every month, the class presidents have to make a list of all the inactive kids in our class, come up with a plan to get them to come, execute it, and tell our bishop how it went, which is sooo uncomfortable.
Basically, it's just a kind of lonely, unsettling situation right now. I know there's other people like this around me, but I don't know how to find them. I wish there was an easier way to talk and vent (RfM is great, but a public internet forum isn't the best place to go for support all the time). I think I'm just going to have to hold on and wait it out till I'm off to college and I'm free to make my own decisions (and no worries, BYU is out of the question ;)

You are not alone. There are lots of Atheists in Utah.
I used to be one of them. We had fantastic monthly get togethers.

There's something wrong about a church that constantly has to harass people to come, isn't there? Luckily, you will eventually reach a point where you can leave home. And that will come sooner than you think.

You might be able to get through this time period more easily if you considered it a project! Keep notes, write down your observations, be objective, like you are writing a report on your experience.

And, keep a sense of humor! Refuse to take it all too seriously.

Also, I'd suggest you find "spiritual thoughts" from all kinds of places that are Universal Truths about: love, gratitude, kindness, etc. Quote presidents, or people like Eleanor Roosevelt, famous people from the ancients.

Your attitude will determine how you deal with these experiences. Make it fun and interesting and project love and appreciation and kindness! Sure makes it easier!

Will be interesting to see what the leaders say after you go a while without quoting Joe Smith or people on the LDS, Inc board of directors.

Use your position to promote the unfortunate truths: Joseph Smith's polygamy, priesthood misogyny, tithing extortion, etc., but DO NOT let them know you're atheist. Wing it in your position, show no signs that you can he intimidated or manipulated. Win the respect of the other girls by showing them you're the boss.

inactive girls? If you could go alone, then you could just talk to the girls and not have to bring up church, etc., be their friend or get to know them. You might find they feel like you do!

I still believed I guess when I was over the Beehives and a lot of the inactive girls liked me. When one of them got pregnant at about age 16 and the R.S. wanted to send visiting teachers to her, she told them that she wanted me for her VT. One of the Beehives also when she was older and had moved away wrote me to tell me she had had a baby at age 16. She trusted me to talk to about that fact.

I hope you can go visit these girls without the teacher. They seem to be more and more obnoxious as years go by. When my daughter was in YW and we were inactive, the leader came by several times and when a new leader was put in, she called constantly. Would ring the phone for 30 rings or so. Drove me nuts. Anyway, the first leader one day came by the house and started to cry, asking us if it was her fault my daughter didn't come to church. She wasn't even in the ward when we went inactive.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/26/2017 02:43AM by cl2.

Lots of potential friends there!

Wouldn't you be running into these inactive girls at school RubySeven? You'd be doing them a huge favor telling them -- You know you looked a little uncomfortable at your house the other day. Would you rather we didn't come? You know you have the right to tell the leader to stop coming.

You probably can't tell them your situation because you know how high school girls are. Fickle and spiteful and one might uncloset you. But at least set them on the right track of knowing they don't have to bow their heads and say yes no matter who is intruding on them and the DO have rights even though they're girls.

Wondered what happened to you cowgirl...school should be out soon if not already. Some great RFM suggestions above here. You might reach out to the girls you are forced to visit and act as a buffer- ask if they really want you to visit. If they don't refuse to visit. Just flat out refuse. As to girls camp use spiritual thoughts-whatever you define that as- from only non-LDS sources. Start with the Beatles and progress daily with Shakespeare, Dostoevsky, even use MLK. Return and report!!

Gatorman
Wish I had your guts at your age

Try reading lyrics to obscure Led Zeppelin songs in a spiritual singsongy voice ...

start out by saying and as it says in Psalms chapter 3, vers 7

or someother phony reference, stick to Psalms, Job, Proverbs and

Ecclesiastes...

Be sure to cry and say in the name of cheeze and rice rahmen.

"the class presidents have to make a list of all the inactive kids in our class, come up with a plan to get them to come, execute it, and tell our bishop how it went"

You get to make the plan? Great! You can secretly sabotage the reactivation efforts. Make your plan as lame as you can, so there's no way they'll accept. I'm talking paper cutouts of pink hearts and unicorns lame. Bishop will (as always) be clueless as you claim to not understand why it's not working.

"my leader takes me to go to the houses of all the inactive girls and invite them"

If the leader ever does any talking, stand off to one side and give the other girl an eyeroll, the kind that only teenage girls know how to do properly. The Teenage Girl Eyeroll is practically its own language, and can communicate emotions and thoughts like nothing else.

We're all on your side, you know. Always remember that you've got a whole bunch of people rooting for you like crazy (whether they post or not), and are delighted that you're throwing off the cult so early in your life.

You are smart, smart, smart.

Plan your course. Study hard. Know there is a whole world of choice and opportunity for you if you just prepare.

Just do a crappy job and make excuses regarding your lame church job. You can have fun with it.
"I read scriptures to inactive Jane at school, but she told me to get lost."
"I brought brownies to inactive Sue. Unfortunately she found Band-Aid in them. I don't think she wants to attend."

Or you can just say you had homework and couldn't do anything. Week after week of not doing anything will probably make them give up asking you to do stuff.

Your job as Class President is to love and serve everyone. You can do that by reaching out to them, and accepting them when they do not want to be part of the religious part of the activities or maybe not even the non-religious side. If you concentrate on being good to and for THEM even in the TBM world (or I guess I mean the spirit of the job you are doing that should be okay in the TBM world) you would be entirely square with God's expectations of the class president. What I'm saying is that you can own your reaching out in caring, even helping people who do believe prepare spiritual thoughts for camp, without feeling awkward about it, by simply helping each person to accept where they are and that there isn't just one way to believe or one acceptable testimony or one spiritual thought.

And otherwise, may I suggest that when you focus on figuring out what you do believe, you will likely find more ways to connect with those who think/believe differently than you do.

I'm just thinking about your psychological well-being. Could you perhaps say that you are feeling a bit overwhelmed with school at the moment and drop some of the extra church stuff? That shouldn't look too suspicious.

I am a nevermo but I do really like SusieQ#1's suggestion :)