Posted by:
relievedtolearn
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Date: May 24, 2017 09:37AM
Dear Honest One, I was heartbroken when I went to my DH/TDM's grandchildrens baptisms, to hear these dear children being indoctrinated, making promises as little kids that they will be held to---and for me, worst of all was what I thought was the horrifying message that in order to have the presence of the Holy Spirit with them, they have to be "worthy" or He will leave them. aaargh!! The fact that their own father--already an exmo, was present like we were in the guest seating, and an uncle was imported from halfway across the country to do the deed----made me realize with sudden awful clarity that these kids, if they marry in the temple, will have their own father not included in their weddings---grrrr. REALLY upset me, for a long, long time. By now I'm more reconciled to the fact that each person on the planet eventually has to determine their own lives and choices; sometimes it's not so hard, but I don't have any control, or right to have any control, over someone else's journey. I can be there for them, I can love them.
However, even if I were their biological grandmother, I'd not have a right to interfere with their families. So I figure the best I can do is have a relationship with them that is trustworthy, so that there is a place to go with questions, a place that is emotionally safe for them. I can be myself with them, and as has been said so wonderfully over and over on this board, if they see someone (dear to them) who is happy, kind and loving and not Mormon, that alone is a disturbance in the paradigm.
Best to you and them.