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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 02:36PM

Studs, my German Shepard, is angry with me. My crime: not giving him enough attention. My punishment: a steaming, fragrant pile left by my computer desk. My penance: to read this...

https://www.amazon.com/How-Your-Dogs-Best-Friend/dp/0316610003/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495132443&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+be+your+dogs+best+friend

I'll let you know how it goes. Studs's Boner

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 02:50PM

Tell Studs you won't be his best friend until he stops pooping on the rug.
Let me know how it goes :)

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 04:48PM

For a man of reason and logic, this is the stupidest thing you've ever said! I'll bring Studs to YOUR house and let you use your rational logical-positivism with him--Mr. Smarty Pants!

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 06:17PM

No can do, pal. I'm allergic. Which is why I don't have a dog, even though I love 'em.




Except when they poop on the floor. :)

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 06:27PM

Zyrtec.

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 03:40PM

pro tip OPie = feed your doge one condom per day ~

that way he will sh!t out little pre-packaged bags of poo ~

= ez to pick up = win = profit ~



in b 4 ~ in b 4

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 04:43PM

Dude, that would kill him! Just a reminder, it is Thursday...just saying...

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 05:43PM

I adopted a young stray once and he did exactly that--must have eaten a condom, and popped out a perfectly packaged post porking puppy poop.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 04:44PM

My boyfriend's German Shepherd leaves the largest dumps I've ever seen. Before he got a doggy door (he is gone all day), then he could end up with diarrhea throughout the house.

All my dogs have had attitude, but my King Charles Spaniel had the most attitude of all. When he was angry, then he would go in the house. It had nothing to do with training. If we had visitors (especially young ones), he would go in the house.

We like dogs that have some attitude. One of the ones I have right now keeps digging up the tomato plants.

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 04:53PM

Stud's dog trainer said, "He's got domination issues, probably because of his intelligence. You've got to play alpha dog with him. Roll him on his back, straddle him, grab his face, stare at him. When Studs blinks or looses eye-contact, say good boy! and let him up!" German dogs and cars....

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 06:18PM

I had to do the same to my old Volkswagen...
otherwise it would leak oil all over the garage!

:)

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Posted by: Babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 04:59PM

Once I went out of town for a week on business. When I came back, I found the cat had peed on and shredded my notebook.

You can actually talk to your dog and explain why you're neglecting him and what you're going to do about it. They'll kind of get it.

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Posted by: sunbeep ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 05:32PM

I just prayed about your Studs situation and this is what came to me in a stupor of thought;

Call your dog into the living room where you will be sitting on the floor. Tell him you are going to have a PPI with him. He will look at you with admiration, and be so happy that you care about him that you might get licked in the face. Pretend that you enjoy this.

Then start reading 2nd Nephi to Studs. Look at him every few sentences, smile and nod, but keep reading. Ask him early on if he is ready for baptism in 3 weeks. He will pretend he doesn't understand, but he does. Dogs are smarter than we think. Keep reading until he looks away or walks away. He is letting you know that this discussion is over for now. You can now relax a little bit about the crapping on the floor. Studs will most likely behave himself for a day. Tomorrow, start reading from where you left off. If that fails, then you can, ,

Sorry, that is where I lost my inspiration and the stupor of thought took over. Hope it works out for you.

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 06:10PM

Okay, I'll try the PPI, as instructed. I did do one with him a couple of weeks ago. I asked him if he masturbated. He just turned his back on me and started licking his balls.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 06:28PM

If he's as intelligent as he seems, as soon as he hears "baptism" he'll be out the doggy door.
Or he'll poop on the floor again.

I would :)

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 08:45PM

Well, he's baptized the couch a few times.

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 07:24PM

I know the feeling Bone. Mocha, our 13 years old Cocker Spaniel will sometimes make the choice between scratching at the patio door to be let out or sneaking into the dining room and leaving "land mines". And she has a really sheepish look on her mug when she comes back into the room.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/18/2017 08:10PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 07:39PM

in b 4 ~ OPie sh!t on the carpet and is blaming it on the doge ~

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Posted by: BYU Boner ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 09:12PM

~ IN Ziller shitter thread

~ No Metamucil

~ me no shit yet.

~ OUT, please!

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Posted by: deja vue ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 10:46PM

Just watched a documentary on Netflix called PET FOOelD.

If you have a dog or cat and you love them, do them the favor or watching it.

I had a great dog who died at a young age, suffering immensely. Vet checked him several times prior to his passing and then preformed an autopsy. He was full cancer.

I now see how, what I fed him was disastrous to his health. Do not let this happen to the pet you love. Watch the documentary and you will understand what I mean.

Forward this to those who have pets or who may be thinking of getting one.

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