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Posted by: eternal1 ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 12:14PM

For Mother's Day, the local ward passed out printed 4x6 pics with this Sheri Dew quote.

"Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us."

I'm a guy, but, to me this seems inappropriate, presumptuous, rude and offensive all at once. Maybe it's just me, but, I have several female family members that for various reasons are unable or don't want to have children. I can't imagine them being okay with a neighborhood RS lady handing them this card.

If she doesn't want children, she's a failure and not doing what God wants. If she can't have children, she's a failure because having kids "defines her divine stature" and is the essence of who she is.

To me, it seems a callous disregard to feelings/situations of others. But then I'm just a dumb ex-Mo, what do I know.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 12:17PM

Do you still want to do the dew ?

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Posted by: Shummy ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 12:26PM

So how many Mormon rugrats have you popped out sister Dew?

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Posted by: lillium ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 12:28PM

I agree with all the adjectives you applied to it. I would not like it one bit to have my very identity, divine stature and nature and unique traits defined for me. That's mine to define for myself thank you very much.

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Posted by: Soft Machine ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 12:28PM

Am I right in thinking that Ms Dew has neither children nor a partner?

So, by her own terms (certainly not mine), that makes her a... failure.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/18/2017 12:29PM by Soft Machine.

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Posted by: spintobear ( )
Date: May 19, 2017 02:14AM

Her partner snagged herself an apostle.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: May 19, 2017 07:21AM

Just what I was going to point out.

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Posted by: Shummy ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 12:47PM

Well ya know Tom, there are rumors that her partner isn't of the male persuasion.

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Posted by: Soft Machine ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 01:47PM

I had read allegations on this very board, Shummy, and there's nothing wrong with that in my book ;-)

But I didn't want to cast aspersions (or as one of my friends says "cast nasturtiums").

Obviously, I'm not a mother but I have successfully co-produced and brought up 3 children and would be pretty miffed if someone with no experience of that tried to make it compulsory.

Some people want children (I always did), some don't. That's fine. The ONLY reason to have children, in my opinion, is to love them. That is less likely if you aren't too keen on having any, so it's better if people who don't want children... don't have children ;-)

Otherwise, you're just sowing the seeds of trouble (for the children, of course) further down the line.

Tom in Paris



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/18/2017 01:48PM by Soft Machine.

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Posted by: anon until further notice ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 01:01PM

"Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us."

…says the woman who has spent many years in a lesbian relationship with Russ Nelson's bi wife Wendy. Children? Not a chance.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1417538,1417950#msg-1417950

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,769556,769793#msg-769793


So if childbearing defines women's "identity," what's the "identity" of Sheri and Wendy?

This should become a "Mormons Should Just Shut Up" meme.

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Posted by: secret not sacred ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 02:24PM

I think you're all missing the point... She said that motherhood is MORE than just bearing children. Motherhood "is the essence of who we are as women. The key word here is "essence." In other words, childless women still possess the same divine gifts as mothers. She's carefully trying to validate childless women in the Mormon Church.

I'm sure she can come up with a better quote than that to make childless women in the Mormon Church feel good about themselves, without mentioning motherhood.

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Posted by: eternal1 ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 03:01PM

But, she did mention motherhood, which is the problem. If you are not a mother or don't ever want to be, you are left out of the equation. Or, by default, a failure.

Sure, motherhood is more than just bearing children, just as fatherhood is more than donating sperm. I don't consider fatherhood the essence of who I am. It happens to be part of my life, but certainly not the essence of it. Would I be less-than if I was unable to have kids? No. So, why even bring it up in the first place.

You're correct though, she could have found a better way to say this if she was trying to be inclusive. But, I don't really think she was. I think she must preach the party line and in that party, the childless are indeed considered less-than by many. She may have been trying to carefully validate childless women, but, it doesn't come across that way to me, and I suspect there are many childless people that would agree.

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Posted by: anon until further notice ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 03:03PM

Then she should have said something like "motherhood is not always (or necessarily) about bearing children." But she didn't. She said "more than" and "certainly," implying that it's childbearing *and then some.* IOW, bearing children is an integral requirement, but insufficient by itself.

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Posted by: eternal1 ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 03:10PM

Since the Mormon view of women is they are eternal breeding stock, I suppose she has to work with what she's got.

One more reason I got my daughter out before she had to listen to this type of demeaning speech.

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Posted by: secret not sacred ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 03:40PM

I think she is trying to say that bearing children is secondary to motherhood, which is kind of weird and doesn't really make any sense. According to Dew, the essence of motherhood is just as valid as motherhood itself; Mothers are equal to non-mothers because essence equals reality. Whatever. I left the madness that is the Mormon church years ago because of the mental gymnastics needed to validate the malarky.

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Posted by: Anyone'smother ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 03:15PM

Yes, but there is a part that she forgot to mention: if you are a mother and have borne children and have held them in your arms and close to your heart and have been the best mother anyone could ever ask for BUT you are also a lesbian living with a partner, none of that matters. In the eyes of God and the church you are worthless and so are your children and if your children should decide to join the church when they turn 18 they have to disavow you and your partner and pretend you no longer exist. The same goes for any mother who chooses to leave the church, she is treated like trash. EVEN ON MOTHER'S DAY

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 09:26PM

My daughter posted that she loved all her mothers on her fb page--and put pictures of her 3 mormon mothers and then me.

See, I don't have that divine essence so anything I've ever done is discounted. She has told me for years that she is glad I'm her mother and not these other women, but she just told me otherwise on mother's day.

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Posted by: scmd ( )
Date: May 19, 2017 02:27AM

cl2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My daughter posted that she loved all her mothers
> on her fb page--and put pictures of her 3 mormon
> mothers and then me.
>
> See, I don't have that divine essence so anything
> I've ever done is discounted. She has told me for
> years that she is glad I'm her mother and not
> these other women, but she just told me otherwise
> on mother's day.

Totally sucks, c12. Maybe one day she'll see more clearly.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: May 19, 2017 10:45AM

cl2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> See, I don't have that divine essence so anything
> I've ever done is discounted.

We think you're absolutely, 100% divine. :)

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: May 19, 2017 06:48PM

It has been a tough week for me.

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Posted by: Devoted Exmo ( )
Date: May 20, 2017 06:42PM

I hope you're having a better week, CL2.

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Posted by: Anyone'smother ( )
Date: May 19, 2017 06:50PM

C12 I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm older and I guess not knowledgeable about some things so I'm not sure what your daughter mean't about "three Mormon mothers".

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Posted by: Devoted Exmo ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 03:27PM

It's a statement worthy of the greatest ridicule I can heap onto it. I am a mother, but that is one small aspect of who and what I am. Her statement diminishes women and wipes out their personhood. Shame on her.

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Posted by: Babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 04:43PM

What else was she supposed to say, but the party line? The advice could have been devote yourself to whatever you're doing, but when seen through Mormon glasses it becomes be a devoted mother. It couldn't mean be a devoted scientist, manager, doctor, etc.

If you're meant to be a mom, it will happen. If not, it won't. Putting women through emotional turmoil for nothing is just cruel.

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Posted by: secret not sacred ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 05:00PM

I kind of feel sorry for Dew. She's a female CEO in a church that only values women who are married and/or mothers; Married and or/Mother trumps CEO. She said the number one question she is asked is "how come you're not married?" It must be hell being an accomplished, never-married and childless women in the Mormon church.

I'm reminded of the Mormon quote: "No success can compensate for failure in the home." For women in the Mormon church, no success can compensate for being single and childless. No wonder Dew has to come up with ridiculous quotes to validate her existence. Sad.

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Posted by: anon until further notice ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 05:11PM

"I'm reminded of the Mormon quote: 'No success can compensate for failure in the home.'"

At the risk of a thread hijack, you've inadvertently stumbled on another sore point. It's not actually a Mormon quote. The church stole it.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,409933

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Posted by: secret not sacred ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 05:23PM

Thanks for enlightening me. I'd only heard the quote in the Mormon church, many times, and thought it had originated there.

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Posted by: Shummy ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 09:14PM

The prophet in all white said that.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 09:22PM

She isn't saying anything new though.

That's been a Mormon mindset for as long as I can remember, going back decades.

Mothers Day at church honored ALL the women whether childless or not.

It didn't only focus on mothers or grandmothers. It focused on any of the sisters in attendance.

Before I became a mother I was handed whatever they were giving out for Mother's Day, along with the others. Childless, never marrieds, divorced, widowed, didn't matter. We all were given a flower or potted plant for no other reason than our womanhood.

With a "Happy Mother's Day" salute er, Primary song sung by the children usually. "Mother Dear I love you so," one of the more popular.

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: May 18, 2017 11:00PM

I have a good friend who is the minister of a very liberal church, a totally "out" lesbian in a long-term relationship, and many years ago, she adopted a baby boy whose military father was stationed in Germany. The baby's father was African-American.

My friend recently posted a beautiful set of pictures of herself, her son and his wife, and their baby boy. My friend's son (Ben) is built like a linebacker but is a practicing attorney.

When you can see the love radiating between mother and son in those photos, it is easy to figure out that motherhood has nothing to do with childbearing or genetics. It's the nature of the relationship and nurturing that makes the difference.

Ben and his mom may not be related genetically, but they are connected at the soul. That's what matters.

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Posted by: scmd ( )
Date: May 19, 2017 02:29AM

Why did the church ever think that Mpther's Day was an appropriate time to drag out Sherrie Dew quotes?

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Posted by: eternal1 ( )
Date: May 19, 2017 10:48AM

I'm sure it was the brilliant idea of a local ward member. For some reason they can't see any problem with it.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: May 19, 2017 07:23AM

Remind me again how many kids Sheri Dew has.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: May 19, 2017 12:00PM

Thanks Sheri for clarifying that the glory of women is having a uterus followed by getting a mini van, doing laundry, cleaning cooking, and then rushing to the temple in their spare time to pull a veil over their faces and pledge obedience to the men.

The women I know are more than that and are choosing to be what they want to be. SAHM is one of the choices but not the only one.

If you want to talk about the divine nature of women, Sheri, let's start with one of my heroes---Jane Goodall.

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Posted by: secret not sacred ( )
Date: May 19, 2017 03:45PM

Wow! There sure is a lot of hate directed at Sheri, mainly because she's a single and childless woman, an "old maid" who can't attract a husband. How dare she even mention motherhood as she is not qualified. Shame on her.

Sheri is a very accomplished woman - a CEO, among other things. Of course her accomplishments mean nothing to Mormon church members - - her value is solely based on her marital status and number of children she has. People on this board claiming to be broadminded and free from the chains of mormonism remind me so much of TBMs by the way they vilify, diminish and patronize single women. One of the many reasons I, a single female, left the church was that I no longer fit in - they didn't know what to do with a single woman in her 30s. When I was a child I was in the family ward until I went to college and attended the student ward. When I reached the age of 32 I was kicked out of the singles ward and sent back to my family ward where I felt like a reject from the singles ward. I was either pitied because I was single and childless or shunned by the married women because they thought I was after their husbands. I felt like a misfit and left, and they weren't sorry to see me go.

The Mormon church values motherhood (if you're a woman) above all else. If you are a single woman you are lesser than, no matter your accomplishments.

I left the Mormon church because I no longer believed the teachings and hated how I was treated as a women. I've never heard Sheri Dew speak and frankly never even heard of her before the post on this board. Although I'm not crazy about her mother's day quote, I think the comments condemning her for daring to speak on mother's day as a single and childless, "old maid" woman, are insensitive and uncalled for. Maybe you should all go back to the Mormon church where you belong.

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Posted by: Devoted Exmo ( )
Date: May 19, 2017 07:15PM

Well, now, that's the rub isn't it? Perhaps she could have done a service to the women in the church and pointed out what you said, but instead, she decided to promote the idea that women are defined by the product of their uterus.

I'm thinking that is what pushes peoples buttons.

And then you chimed in to condemn people hurt and lashing out by her hypocrisy. It would seem there's a lot of hurt to go around.

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Posted by: tnurg ( )
Date: May 19, 2017 06:42PM

"Sheri Dew is a very poor source of information on motherhood!"

"If a woman can't attract a man that's one thing, but, she has elected to exclude men from her life!"

"Her apparent superiority complex/holier than thou persona drives the no one is ever good enough elitism of people like her who are consumed by a high opinion of themselves/blind allegiance to the mormon - God - CON - CULT that has trumped any hope for a normal life!"

Sheri Linn Dew (born November 21, 1953) is an American author, publisher, and president and chief executive officer of the Deseret Book Company, a Corporation of the President owned business headquartered in Salt Lake City, Utah. Dew has also been a religious leader/CULT operative in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that is revealed to be nothing more than a trademark owned by a subsidiary corporation!

Let me say that I do understand your venom when it comes to CULT treatment of women in the kingdom of absurdity/lies! I'm sorry for your pain/sorry you placed me in their category! My best to you! As Always, tnurg (GRUNT)

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