How have you handled the situation of dressing a close family member as an exmormon? Are you allowed to help? Do you stay away totally? Is it like the temple where you are unworthy to participate? I have five TBM sisters....

IF there are no endowed family members, then the Relief Society President or the Elders quorum president gets the job. They do not allow non members, or unendowed members to dress the dead in temple clothing.

They were allowed to at my mom's funeral in 2015. One SIL was TBM, rest were not active or a few not even Mormons ever.

But it others do, I guess they should be given the task.

I think funeral homes usually have professionals take care of this unless the family chooses to do it.

I hate to think of all of the mormon dead wearing their temple garb in their caskets. It's worse than temple dead dunking or proxy marriages to spirit people.

First , who the hell is "they" and second are you kept outside some room? I'm not asking for the job but I don't want to be the only family member sitting outside! And I may vocally object if the face is veiled-- they have to give me that!

"They" would be the bishop, the Elders quorum pres. the Relief society pres.

And yes, they would probably have you sit out in the hallway while they dress your family member up in temple clothes.

They pull a veil over the woman face right before they close the casket.

I don't know how you can get around any of this if the deceased wanted it that way. Pretty pathetic i know.

That was in no way directed to the Janis- thanks for answering- it is just one more place the church oversteps its bounds with families!

They're creepy and they're kooky,
Mysterious and spooky,
They're altogether ooky,
Your Mormon Family.

Their chapel's a museum
When people come to see 'em
They really are a scream
Your Mormon Family.

LoLOLOLOL.

Nail hit on head.

As of right now, I don't have any plans to dress the dead! For those who may not know, I resigned my membership in the mormon Cult some years ago! This vile God CON is not welcome in any capacity at my farewell/earthly goodbye! Family, real friends/ valued acquaintances are invited mormon or otherwise! GRUNT will be buried with a visor on his head, sun glasses, tee shirt, shorts/flip flops! These insidious mormon God mongers/career criminals of false religion will have absolutely nothing to do with my burial - end of the story! As Always, tnurg (GRUNT)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/20/2017 03:45AM by tnurg.

I had been out of the church for years when my mother died. However, my two TBM brothers and I dressed her in her garments and temple clothes and laid her in the casket.

It may have made a difference that one of my brothers was the funeral director.

Well, I finally get it (tnurg=GRUNT, backwards).

I had a good friend whose job was to put make-up on cadavers.

I had a next-door neighbor who passed away, and whose body was on display, so I went to pay my respects.

When I went into the spacious display room I encountered my friend putting make-up on my friend (the deceased).

The make-up friend stepped aside so I could "visit" my neighbor, and afterwards, I told my MUF, my neighbor looked very natural.

For my effort, I received back a big smile and THANK YOU from my MUF.
---

Am I a pervert for later thinking how funny this situation was?

No Polly you weren't a "pervert" for chuckling afterwards. Any emotion can be triggered by the death of a friend. Your MUF was providing a service and was respectful to your other friend. You sincerely thanked the MUF friend. The context of the conversation was unusual because there was a body present.

I can't stand viewings--Mormon temple clothes ones--especially. I'm grateful for those who do care for the remains of our friends and family. A very kind young man at my local mortuary helped me through some rough time as I had to plan a funeral alone. I chose not to have a viewing before the cremation.

Funerals should, IMO, be respectful for the deceased and comforting for the bereaved. You showed respect for both of your friends that day.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/20/2017 11:55PM by BYU Boner.

Pollythinks, it all started a number of years ago in the Salt Lake Tribune Newspaper! My screen name was GRUNT until changes were suddenly thrust upon us one day! In the transition, a fringe, right-wing, mormon apologist stole GRUNT to initially compromise/then bury him in obscurity! Yes, the creeps who represent peep stone jo smith jr. stole the name to censor the message! I appealed but lost my unique screen name! mormon treachery never seems to cease - does it!?

As a result, I decided to spell GRUNT backwards so we saw the birth of tnurg! Ironically, tnurg was eventually denied access to the Tribune because of his contempt for the church's endless lies, abuse of children, misogyny/never ending variety of discriminatory practices against the most vulnerable/least among us! Telling the truth about the CULT with church sanctioned historical records to back it up is the last thing they want to here! Along the way, it also became quite evident to me that these GOD mongers of false religion are a pack of thieves with a license to steal! But, never fear - not allowing tnurg/GRUNT to be denied, I did decide to end my posts with a bit of a flair! And, so it is! As Always, tnurg (GRUNT)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/20/2017 04:14PM by tnurg.

I live FAR from the MorCor but my nevermo husband helped dress my dad in his temple clothes when he died. Who was going to be there to stop him? The Bishop isn't going to stand guard at the funeral home. When mom mother passed the RS President said she had to be present for the dressing. I told her quite bluntly that she was not wanted and then did not tell her when we were going to do it. It was a difficult enough task that the funeral director had to help us with it. You simply have to stand up for what you want.

I'm at a loss as to how some random person feels that they have more say than an immediate family member of the deceased.

Each state has laws that govern who has the right to make funeral and burial arrangements. Often under law, the written wishes of the deceased take precedence. Immediate family members will normally have precedence as well.

From a quick web search, I pulled up the law for Utah:

Utah law determines who can make decisions about funerals and body disposition -- that is, burial or cremation -- after someone dies. This right and responsibility goes to the following people, in order:

a person you name in an approved, written document before your death

your surviving spouse

the personal representative of your estate, if you name one in your will

your adult child or a majority of your children if there is more than one

your parents

your adult sibling or a majority of your siblings if there is more than one

your adult next of kin in the order named by law to inherit

your estate

a public official, or
any other person willing and able to take on the job.

(Utah Code § 58-9-602.)

If there are two or more members of a class described above -- for example, if you have several adult children or many siblings -- and a majority of them cannot agree, a probate court must resolve their dispute. (Utah Code § 58-9-605.) To avoid such an outcome, it’s wise to name a representative in advance.

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/making-funeral-arrangements-utah.html

Thank you--that is very helpful! I just didn't think a bishop had the right to have "worthiness" interviews at this point! Mormons divide families at every single turn! It is lunacy! More people should talk about this as more and more leave the church but are left with TBM parents dying.It is a discussion that needs to be more public as to what our rights are!

Last I heard, my TBM dad wants to be buried traditionally (not cremated like everyone else in my immediate family). He lives in the morridor, but neither of his sons are TBMs. I (and I'm assuming my brother) simply don't want to (and technically shouldn't) dress him up. But why the hell should the EQ pres or bishopric do it, when chances are there are plenty of male, TBM funeral directors at whatever mortuary he goes to?

Or can we just stick the packet of clothes in his casket? I mean, why not do that robe shuffle one last time before reaching Kolob?

Just curious is anyone has had to "sit outside" or been formally asked not to participate or has been excluded and stood up to the family. Or has said, the deceased is not going to be dressed in a ridiculous costume to be buried in!

My parents where non-garment wearing, less active LDS. When each of them died, there were no church "authorities" involved in dressing. It was the family and the funeral director. We dressed them up in the full garments and temple regalia. At the time 2 of my siblings were inactive, and 2 and myself active. When my wife saw my dad dressed in the holy robes of the temple at the viewing, she flipped out. She thought it was a desecration that he would wear the holy outfit. She was so worked up she almost insisted he be stripped of the attire. She didn't throw a fit about my mom in temple clothes, even though my mom also was not a temple attendee. The veil did not cover her face during the viewing, but at a special moment before the casket was closed , one of my sisters had the honor of placing the veil over her face. Other than my wife flipping out, it was not particularly creepy. Of course I was used to funerals with the deceased in temple clothes.

Case in point, even after death, as TBM's we can be judge, jury and executioner--there are no boundaries to the insanity!