Our DS came back from his foreign mission last fall due to the traumatic brain injury caused by an accident. He became unconscious and suffered all the symptoms you can possibly imagine. Worried sick, we asked his mission president to keep him at the Mission Home a little longer, but Mission president was anxious to put him on a plane as soon as possible without neurologist consent.
His accident was caused by a chronic insomnia and extreme fatigue. After he came back, only things we heard from him was sad stories. The last area was so bad: everyone knew who the Mormon missionaries were and mocked them day after day. They would say things like, "go back to the states, we don't want you to be here!" people in the town did not like missionaries, because they were so pushy. He proselyted all day every day without any results. He was feared for the morning to come, so depressed to start 'another sad day', he woke up so many times during the nights. Thus the accident. In a mean time, one of the Seventies visited and scolded and chastised the missionaries saying they were so sinful and not working hard enough. At the every transfer, at least 3 to 5 missionaries quit and went home. It probably was the most toughest mission of all.
Despite the hardships, he tried his hardest and put smile on his face all day long. I asked him why he never wrote any truth to us. And this is what he said: "someone is reading my email. Someone in the church can read it and I was worried about it thus I could not confide my true feeling. I was only allowed to say positive stuffs."
He is improving slowly. But his insomnia and fatigue are still there. He wants to live like other young people of his age and do everything his friends are doing. But DH and I have fear about what is ahead of his life. Members in our ward said that he gave everything to the Lord. No! He gave everything to the church but came back with not only the brain but the spinal issues. He may not be able to find a wife inside the church, for he did not fulfill 24-month mission (he served 15 months)and girls would think he probably does not have functioning brain, thus he is not a good candidate to be a provider. He is still cheerful and optimistic about his life but he knows he can only do things slowly. I can't stand with the whole system, which ruined our son's health.

Very moving. Thanks for sharing, and I hope it brings you some comfort knowing that you are not alone.

Dear donbagley,
Thank you for taking time to write me. I promise that We will survive through the unknown, although we are very scared.

I am very scared as well of what's to come.

I am so sorry that your dear son suffered such a terrible injury.

My advice would be to consult a non-Mormon lawyer who specializes in personal injury. Your son will have many needs in the years ahead, and in my opinion, the Mormon church should take responsibility for his care.

Please keep posting to let us know how you and your son are doing. We are here for you.

Dear Summer,
Thank you so much for such a warm concern you've shown to me.
I feel for some reason, Exmormon community is much understanding and warmer than the active Mormons. Perhaps, true Christians tend to leave the fold. Agree?

Exactly what I was thinking, Summer.

First I am sorry for your troubles.

I would like to ask a question that arises from time to time and which if you choose to answer will help us understand current church policy.

Would you feel comfortable sharing with us how much support the church has offered? Are they helping with medical bills and therapy?

Thank you.

My heart goes out to you! I've known returned missionaries who suffered everything from parasites to attack by armed mobs on their missions. It's tragic that the church sends young men and women to places just so the church can say "we're preaching the gospel to the world."

I echo what Summer says about seeking legal aid for your son. The church should share responsibility for his well-being throughout his life. Very best wishes!

Thanks, BYUboner!

I have heard horrid stories like this before... The chuch needs to offer help because he was working for them. A friend of mine
went for extensive psychological work after his mission because
his mission president was Hitlerish in his treatment of my friend.

I really don't know if the church has ever manned up and reimbursed people who have been damaged from doing their duty
and serving a mission. I suspect they have not.

Good luck to you and your son and may he heal and be able to
live a normal life. Yours is a heartbreaking story which makes
my decision to not force my sons to go on a mission a good one.

So sorry you are dealing with a brain injury with your son. You're going to probably need to be pro-active regarding his care and therapy so he can function as well as possible.
There are a lot of horror stories about sickness and illness on missions that are not handled with good medical care.
It would be wise to find out if you have any legal recourse with the LDS Church.

Dear SusieQ#1

Thank you for the kind words!
I wonder how messy it is to fight against this powerful organization......

Lawyer up with an attorney who works well with the MEDIA !

Don't delay!

kathleen Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Lawyer up with an attorney who works well with the
> MEDIA !
>
> Don't delay!

Yes!!!! Such good advice especially media savviness. I don't want your son used. Just that the word needs to get out there regarding abuse of LDS missionaries.

kathleen, thanks for the encouragement!

I agree, file a law suit as soon as possible. He deserves the medical attention so he can be on his way to recovery. The LDS church is liable.

Oregon, The church will deny its responsibility.

Sure they will deny, but if you have a good case you should get a settlement to help support your son's care.

The FAA and DOT have rules about pilot and driver sleep for valid safety reasons. If your son was forced to work selling the so-called church in a sleep-deprived state, it seems to me they are liable.

I wouldn't worry about him not being able to find a Mormon woman to marry. If he were to marry a Mormon, his sons would be under pressure to go off on missions and the cycle would be repeated.

I do wish you and your son all the best.

Thank you, NeverMojohn!
Sure, it does not matter whom he marries. He wants to marry a Mormon girl but if they don't want him, that is OK.
Mormon girls tend to think in a small boxes and would not come out of them.
Thank you for the warm message which means a lot to me!

"Mormon girls tend to think in a small boxes and would not come out of them".

Amazing!

worriedandmad Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
I am all TOO familiar with the situation that you are talking about.

They would not openly admit it but I could see that My MORmON parents were actually disappointed that I did not die on my mission when I became seriously ill, because my demise while on a mission would have meant a windfall of sympathy and acknowledgement and recognition for them from the fellow members of their stupid secret (unmentionable) handshake social club AKA MORmON church ward. It might have even given an essential compensatory / sympathy boost to my male parent's quest to become ward bishop (something he was never able to achieve in spite of his desperate obsessive longing for such a calling.) Besides that, my demise would not be that much of a personal hard ship for them, even though they could pretend like it was for the sake of garnering sympathy, because, A. they NEVER really had any personal interaction with me to miss after my demise anyway, and B. they would still have 5 other surviving offspring to serve as their critical continuing MORmON family children props to provide them with grandchildren and fodder for "good member" MORmON family oriented discussion material as they continued to participate in their much more beloved than me MORmON church dog and pony show, C. it would not be them that would have to do the actual dying at that point.


IF you were like my ( CRAPPY) MORmON parents, at this point you would make it a point to force your son out on his own in his highly compromised condition that came about due to his mission, in order to punish him for being so weak and succumbing to prevailing conditions that were imposed on him. After all he must have sinned in some way, even if it was only in not having enough faith, which is what brought the failure onto himself. That is MORmON thinking right there.

As well, in MORmONISM suffering is good ......especially when it is some one else who has actually to do it.

I suffered immensely through out my 20's due to illness that I encountered on my mission. I am still dealing with the health repercussions of that deal decades later in my life. I am still behind financially as well. The one good thing about that situation is that I arrived at a point where I simply could no longer afford much of anything, that meant that paying dues to the MORmON secret handshake social club simply was not possible. That made leaving MORmONISM just that much more inviting.

I can not even begin to explain what it is like when you are supposed to be a young person in the desperate process of attempting to get an education, establish your adult life, and possibly get married and start a family, and you have ZERO financial resources ....because they were totally consumed for the sake of financing your (really THEIR!!! ) mission, and ZERO physical stamina and reserve to try to rely on. It turns out to be a brutal series of crashing and burning and not being able to get better or make any progress. Its like pouring salt in a wound as you see other people whose family supports them for serving a mission get ahead, while your own family is Hell bent on punishing you to make the point that you should have done better in a hopeless situation that they brow beat you into. They were counting on you to get MORmON Jesus to pay out on the blessings bonanza that are supposed to be due to missionaries for going on a mission. Well guess what! -MORmON Jesus is the biggest dead beat that ever existed !!! When a person has zero support from their family at that time, the same family that was so insistent that they serve a mission, conditions go from difficult to impossible.

My MORmON male parent can be glad that he is dead, so he will never have to depend on me for support in later life, because IF he ever needed any support later in his life and it was up to me , I would treat him the very same MORmON way that he treated me after my (HIS) mission. I would put him out on the street, and tell him that he better make amends with the Lord in order to save himself, because I learned that lesson from him very well
-that harder is better when people are struggling because they must be struggling due to sin, so making things more difficult for them will help purge their sin from them.

> Our DS came back from his foreign mission last
> fall due to the traumatic brain injury caused by
> an accident. He became unconscious and suffered
> all the symptoms you can possibly imagine. Worried
> sick, we asked his mission president to keep him
> at the Mission Home a little longer, but Mission
> president was anxious to put him on a plane as
> soon as possible without neurologist consent.

Oh Yeah, once a missionary becomes a liability instead of an asset then LDS Inc can hardly wait to be rid of them.

> His accident was caused by a chronic insomnia and
> extreme fatigue. After he came back, only things
> we heard from him was sad stories. The last area
> was so bad: everyone knew who the Mormon
> missionaries were and mocked them day after day.


Well, there is a reason that people/ the public does not like
the MORmON religion .....

> They would say things like, "go back to the
> states, we don't want you to be here!" people in
> the town did not like missionaries, because they
> were so pushy. He proselyted all day every day
> without any results. He was feared for the morning
> to come, so depressed to start 'another sad day',
> he woke up so many times during the nights. Thus
> the accident. In a mean time, one of the Seventies
> visited and scolded and chastised the missionaries
> saying they were so sinful and not working hard
> enough. At the every transfer, at least 3 to 5
> missionaries quit and went home.

You mean the ones who were smart enough to wise up and dump being a volunteer sales rep for LDS Inc

> It probably was
> the most toughest mission of all.
> Despite the hardships, he tried his hardest and
> put smile on his face all day long. I asked him
> why he never wrote any truth to us. And this is
> what he said: "someone is reading my email.
> Someone in the church can read it and I was
> worried about it thus I could not confide my true
> feeling. I was only allowed to say positive
> stuffs."
> He is improving slowly. But his insomnia and
> fatigue are still there. He wants to live like
> other young people of his age and do everything
> his friends are doing. But DH and I have fear
> about what is ahead of his life. Members in our
> ward said that he gave everything to the Lord. No!
> He gave everything to the church but came back
> with not only the brain but the spinal issues. He
> may not be able to find a wife inside the church,
> for he did not fulfill 24-month mission (he served
> 15 months)and girls would think he probably does
> not have functioning brain, thus he is not a good
> candidate to be a provider. He is still cheerful
> and optimistic about his life but he knows he can
> only do things slowly. I can't stand with the
> whole system, which ruined our son's health.

There is a BIG lesson in that! do not miss it! When it comes right down to it any common member is completely dispensable and disposable to LDS Inc and their blood sucking MOReMONey grabbing schemes.

Your support, OR not, from this point on will have a HUGE impact on the rest of your son's life.

Dear Smikorama
I am so sorry to hear about your parents. Yes, we love our son 1000% more than the church. I've heard the parents say things to save their faces. Good standing in the church and how they are viewed by peers seem more important than the happiness of their children. Definitely,there is something wrong with this.
And you became a victim of this practice.
If we have to choose between our son and the church, I would chose our son for I worship God,not the church. Church is just a community of people who happen to have similar values.
I am a foyer member and I do not hold any calling. President Uchdorf said so many time that is is OK to have my own level of faith or testimony and the church needs all kinds of people.
Well, in reality, that is not the case. They don't want people like me for sure. Smikorama, I admire your courage to leave the church (perhaps, your parents played a big part of it...). Thank you for taking time writing me. Your story made me think how so many people leave the church. There are reasons they don't want to admit.

Here’s somthing to send over to your mother if you want, unless your reconciling or trying to.

From Family: a proclamation to the world

We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, [or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God.]

Highlight what’s in the brackets.

Reading this makes me almost sick. What happened to your son is horrid under any circumstances, but your son's circumstances make it all the worse. thank God he has sane parents.

My brother-in-law's nephew came down with a severe parasitic illness of his intestine in South America. His parents wanted him to stick it out. One of the uncles with more common sense went to S.A., demanded his passport from the mission pres., examined him to see if it would be best to seek help in S.A. or to travel back to the U.S. The kid ended up losing four feet of his ileum.

Dear Scmd,
I feel so bad reading about the young man coming home from Mission so sick. Parasite infestation is so dangerous it can affect all of your life! I wonder MP was trying to save money. I know each Mission has a budget. for my son, main doctor he was seeing was a retired Mission doctor (family doctor from Utah) living somewhere in Asia covering many Missions and the doctor saw our son through Skype only! Must be the financial reason.

I'm sorry for your son's plight. I am a return missionary too and I dealt with parasites for years. Who knows, I still might have them.

That said, every person has a unique journey and it sounds like your son has dealt with a lot of misery.

Looking back I would be proud of myself for leaving early. I didn't because I was TBM at the time but knowing what I know now I wish I would have had the nerve to leave my mission and get back to my actual life.

If you show your son unconditional love then you will show him what love really means. You will show him that he is worthy of love and that love does not have strings attached. I hope your son is able to process the fact that he is in a cult and the cult will drain every last drop of his blood if given the chance. It will never be enough to satisfy the demands of the cult. Your love will show him what it means to have unconditional love. Jesus can't love him like you can. Of course Jesus doesn't exist but that's for another time.

Good luck with your son. I am glad that at least he is home and safe.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/20/2017 04:27AM by praydude.

Dear praydude,
I am so sorry to hear you suffered from parasite infestation.
I've heard many horror mission stories but never thought it would happen to my son.
Yes, I will take care of him and show him love no matter what.

Our son knows the problems of the church. Surprisingly, most of his missionary companions knew too. In fact, they knew everything! He hasn't hit the point where he can't stand with this church. It may happen when he finds out his recovery takes longer than he expected.

I agree with kathleen and summer. Get an attorney asap. The church will try to talk you out of it with all kinds of stupid reasons and tell you are wrong, sinful, ungrateful, etc etc, etc you are. Stand up to them. They ARE the reason he will be handicapped for the rest of his life. And, no, no "miracle" will change that. count on them to blame the victim. Be strong.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/20/2017 06:00AM by aquarius123.

aquarius123 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I agree with kathleen and summer. Get an attorney
> asap. The church will try to talk you out of it
> with all kinds of stupid reasons and tell you are

Totally agree and all good attorneys will say, 'No more talking to the church.' Time to document, get all medical documents, establish timelines, etc.

Dear aquarius123,
Yes, we will be strong! Thanks for the motivation and encouragement!!!

It's also a good time to consider that you never get those two years back. Or, in this case, those 15 months. They become a hole and a vacuum for your entire life. Best to minimize it, if only for 9 months.

And yes, get that lawyer. Now. But on a cautionary note, it could mean that your stake president, and possibly your bishop, will threaten you. Don't fall for it.

Dear Cudgie,
Thanks for the comments!
Sure, if they want to kick us out of the church, go right ahead!!! But they have to know that this is how they make so many enemies in the world.

To Heartless,
Thank you for your warm sympathy.

Support from the church?
Financially none.
After his arrival, someone named Smith from Utah called him every so many weeks to make sure our son was still active in the church suggesting home-teaching, Temple, etc.We were wondering why this man was keep calling but discovered later it was because of the liability. We felt so annoyed by his pushiness. Obviously, there must be many lawsuits again the church from the parents or early returned missionaries with health issues initiated during the Mission. Mr. Smith was making sure we are not mad at church and not taking a legal action against the church. The Mission President has been afraid of us suing him. We were not planning to sue him because he could not do much about it. There are rules for the mission presidents that are forced upon them no matter what.

Our son could not be so active (in a way the church defines). the doctors ordered him to take it easy and sleep as much as possible. This includes no reading of any sorts and no thinking. He had five appointments with various medical professionals each week for the first months or two.

Support from the ward member.
During the time of battling with the Mission rule (=sending him home as soon as possible in a case like this), to my few close church friends, I disclosed my true feeling towards this stupid, unbendable policy the organization has decided for every single case without exceptions. To my surprise, I did not receive any sympathy. Instead, I was Chastised for my bad mouth and told not to complain about the church, period. What I told them was: person's life is more important than the policy.
Their response: the obedience is more important than anything, and if it is a God's will, it must be the way and that our son would be protected. Nevertheless, Whatever happens, it is a God's will.
My response: you would not say that if it's a case of your son. You can say it because it is someone else's boy.

Yes, son's accident was announced at the HP meeting and the Sacrament and it was requested every member to pray for him.
The Stake Patriarch offered his extra mileage for our son so that he can bump up to the Business Class.
After his arrival, men came and gave him Priesthood blessing but did not bless him to be healed.

Time to time, people in the church ask about how our son is doing. They are nice but they sort of view us as people without much faith. We are left with the reality.

Their point of view: everybody goes through hardships and that is the plan of God. Our hardship is God's will and we are supposed to swallow it with a grace and gratitude. That is what the true saints are supposed to be doing.
Our son's accident was not God's will. It was preventable.

He had backaches and planter faciitis throughout his mission and expressed his desire to go to doctor, but his companions would say, waste of time that We should be knocking at more doors instead.
Evidently, stats were more important than the companion's health. To keep a good relationship with his companions and to keep a good image of exemplary missionary, he shut his mouth and endured. When his body no longer able to take it, the accident happened.

I need to leave for work now to pay son's medical bill. I will come back to post more later today.

"We were not planning to sue him because he could not do much about it. There are rules for the mission presidents that are forced upon them no matter what."

That's simply not true. MPs have **very** wide latitude regarding how their mission is run. In fact, you can reasonably argue that they can pretty much order the mission any way they want. Some missions are more lenient, while others are run as boot camps.

You yourself say
"Evidently, stats were more important than the companion's health."
and
"we asked his mission president to keep him at the Mission Home a little longer, but Mission president was anxious to put him on a plane as soon as possible without neurologist consent."

Attitudes like this are a direct result of the culture created by that specific MP, so yes, the MP carries most of the blame for your son's condition. Also, the MP could have sent him to a neurologist, but did not. That is intentional negligence, pure and simple.

"At the every transfer, at least 3 to 5 missionaries quit and went home."

Again, a direct result of mission environment. MPs can, if they want, lower the pressure. The visiting Seventy was an ass, but then they almost always are. It's the MP that sets the tone for the day-in, day-out culture of the mission. Did the MP ever praise the missionaries for their efforts, or follow the Seventy's lead?

Include the MP in the lawsuit. He could have done many things to alleviate your son's condition, but did nothing.

And the church WILL try to bully and shame you into not suing them. The local Mormon peanut gallery will join forces against you because the cult must never have to account for anything, and must never face any consequences for its malignant acts.

But at least now you know the value you have to the cult: none. Now you know that the cult does not care in the least about you, and that its only concern is protecting itself, its reputation and its cash flow. Your eyes have been opened at last, but at a terrible price.

Best of luck to you.

My eyes were opened even before this accident. For a long time, I was a foyer Mormon or I usually go to only the sacrament twice a month or so. It is my DH who has been active. Our son was not sure about the mission, but, as you know, every young men from his Priest Quorum was pressured to go, so since he did not want to be left out, he went as well. I am aware of the fact this church is very dysfunctional. But the worst part is trying to cover up their bad deeds, or pretending there isn't any problem in the church. If we confront the leadership with the issues, we are punished. I just stayed quiet trying not to see their problems. Instead I have been trying to find something good in this organization. It has been tough. Because it is mostly bad.

About five years ago, I had a meeting with our Bishop commenting how unwise Joseph Smith was that he was incapable in practical leadership, although he was good at leaving an impression of it. Bishop was so mad as if I were judging about him.

Let a competent personal injury lawyer make the call in terms of who to sue.

The Mormon church is quite wealthy. The church has money to spare, having spent billions of dollars on real estate and buildings used for commercial purposes.

Your son was injured while on official duties for the church. Let an attorney guide you.

Amazing that 25 years later it's the same story about mission priorities: stats over missionary health and well-being. Nothing has changed!

Yes, it is the same. But I believe it is even worse than the past. I never understand the purpose of LDS Mission.

worriedandmad Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yes, it is the same. But I believe it is even
> worse than the past. I never understand the
> purpose of LDS Mission.

It's to ruin young men's lives whether you go or not go. Everything in that d@mn religion rides on that mission.

The youth missionary program by the LDS.org needs to be wiped off the face of the earth because it is WRONG, EVIL AND DANGEROUS on so many levels. I wish your son had never been indoctrinated to do the cult's bidding. I do hope you find the support to sue their sorry asses.

From my viewpoint the cult with your son's case is negligent big time. I believe they know, AND DO NOT CARE, that young people's brains at missionary age are still developing. YOUTH MISSIONARIES ARE NOT COMPLETE ADULTS YET! Their cognitive ability is still growing! At this point in their lives they should be discovering what the world has to offer and how they choose to fit in and contribute....they should be having fun and meeting new people....they should be making choices on their own.

I believe that missionaries are POORLY trained, if at all, about the culture they are being sent to "serve" in. This is definitely something that could be used in your son's law case. And, what's more, they are taught NOT to keep informed of the news surrounding them but instead live in a place of seclusion, vulnerability and danger which could also be helpful in a law suit for your son. The cult even tells missionaries not to contact their family when they want and need to - why? could it be the church must have complete control and what exactly does the church have to hide? Might missionaries tell them how overworked and pushed they are? Might missionaries tell them that they do not have enough food to eat? and on and on.

I am wishing each day finds your son stronger. Love him and take care of him well as the church surely failed to. I sincerely hope you will sue the church, and if my testimony can help by sharing how they, the cult, did not take care of my two missionaries, I will be there. Way back when this happened to my own children, I certainly have regrets that I lacked the where-with-all to have gone after the slimy MormonCult.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/20/2017 10:19AM by presleynfactsrock.

If we voice our opinions, we will be vanished from the church.
We will be blessed for the sacrifice, if not in this world, then perhaps after life.

That is what they say, correct?

What happened to your children on their mission? Did they get hurt as well?

I'm so sorry for what your son is going through and for you guys too. So glad you are there for him. I agree with the others: sue the church because they are culpable for what happened. Our SIL was nearly killed on his mission in Taiwan because he was sandwiched in between huge trucks and buses while peddling his bicycle. He got very sick from the "food" (sea cucumber). Another young man that we knew went to the Philippines on his mission,got some kind of parasite, and wound up being dependent on pain killers the rest of his life. I am so relieved that our son refused to go on a mission, and these stories, posted here and elsewhere are some of the reasons I will never be mean with any missionaries that I may encounter, because they go through enough crap on their missions without me adding to it.

I am so sorry for the missionaries you are referring to.
There are so many missionaries out there now. If James dies, his spot can be replaced by John. My son was just a number.

Keep us posted.

We never know what the lds church is really like until we start dealing with the leaders. It is shocking. They don't care about the "souls." They only care about themselves and the bottom dollar.

What happened to your son is criminal.

I do not know what the leaders are trying to accomplish. What is so important to make this organization big and powerful, for what? It must be the world's seventh wonder!

There used to be a RM that posted here that wrote a book. I can't recall his name, maybe someone else can?

He came home and has had horrific health problems from his mission. He has medical problems that he will suffer for the rest of his life. Because of his health problems, his life most likely will be shorter than it would have been.

This article may be of interest to you....
http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2015/10/sick_mormon_missionaries_denied_access_to_adequate_health_care.html



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/20/2017 12:58PM by janis.

Hi janis,
Thanks for introducing the book. I will find it and read it.

I can see it all now!

1. Son "put in his papers".
Therefore son was a volunteer

2. Son was "called on a mission".
I think legally a volunteer not an employee.

3. As a volunteer the organization is going to disavow any responsibility for the volunteer's safety or well being.

This is how they avoid responsibility for their actions. It is sad but true.

Stop talking to church folk. Lawyer up. Let the Lawyer to the talking.

Get your son to non-mormon psych and medical help.

There are better people outside people church and better girls for your son to date when he is better.

If you and he try to satisfy the damage and assume hope going forward then you are damned and I believe you already know this. The church is hard to leave but leave it you must to save yourselves. Notice I said yourselves. You'll never be free until you do. You'll never have the hope of justice until you do.

OP, I'm so sorry that your son was injured, but glad that he has a mom smart enough to put her son first.

I'm going to skip over the ways you might deal with the church; the bottom line for me on that one is to show them the same level of concern that they dealt your son.

If your son still holds reverence for their doctrines, still wishes to "be equal" to his Mormon peers, I'd like to gently suggest that you help him find a non-LDS counselor to help him become more concerned about his own welfare and choices. He doesn't sound anywhere near ready to marry, much less support a brood of children. Pressure to marry young is so unfair in most situations, and your son may not be strong enough to avoid internalizing the emotional jabs.

His primary concerns should be in recovering his health as much as he is able and in examining, testing, differing life paths. He need not be shackled to an organization that would rather see him dead than spend a dime in his medical care. He needs to understand the people he has been programmed to follow, for his own sake.

I think that there are good, kind and intelligent people trapped in a system that bids them to do evil to others for the sake of no God, but for the sole benefit of those in leadership. That is what LDS has become, and your son needs to understand that people who follow those leaders can and will do evil by proxy.

This is what your family has experienced, and how members end up "acting" so badly. If they want to stay "in," they must do as told; kindness, humanity or common sense can play no part - just follow the leader, and say, "The emporer is not naked."

Please help your son to guide his life in a healthier direction. Again, I'm sorry he was injured and thankful that he survived. I wish you well.

worriedandmad,

I am very sorry to hear about your son. I have significant experience diagnosing/treating traumatic brain injuries as a clinician and father of daughter with a TBI. I asked Rfm admin to share my email with you. Contact me if you are interested.

Please don't be timid about the MEDIA!

Many people would think, "Oh, no ... what would I do if a camera were shoved in my face?!"

If you have any fears related to that, there are people who will help you, or someone can speak for you. Yours and your son's identity can be protected if you need that.

Once this were exposed, others would come out of the woodwork with similar stories.

Please expose this widely! For your son's sake and others'.

Please get a lawyer and get your situation as much exposure as possible. It is unacceptable how the church gets free personal representation and even makes money out of it, They need to be exposed for not taking responsibility for the well being and for any accidents that occur to this young men a women while givien away 1.5 or 2 years of their life on the shallow lds cause.
I hope for the best for your son and for your family.

Haven't been around so much lately.
I feel sorry for what has happened to your son and how he is treated by those who actually caused his suffering. I can't tell you how to deal with the church or if it is a good idea to sue the sh*t out of their filthy butts.
But I hope I can give you some comforting words for we are facing a TBI right now too.

Well my DH suffered a TBI about a short time ago. He had undergone a craniectomy (that means to cut out a boneflap from his skull) to evacuate a hematoma, create a space for the swelling brain and to release the pressure
He was put in a chemical induced coma for several days. Although there was no final statement on the outcome now he may remain halfside paralyzed, probably blind on one eye, needs a wheelchair and dependent on the help from others, it is likely that he will suffer cognitive deficits.
He is not even 30, we have a 3 year old DD.

But there is always hope and I already learned so much. First your son (and my DH) survived. This is not self-evident. I saw people dying although the ICU staff did everything to save their lives.
Maybe he will not have the straight and easy path to live but he is still able to do the best out of it. There are always alternatives. DH is a professional musician, he will probably never play the piano again like he used to do, maybe he even lost his musical skills (since they are located on the right hemisphere). I am positive that he will find a way that works for him, although it will be a hard way to go and maybe a total different one than he planned.

Our brains are miracles and they are able to compensate so much. They can regenerate and learn again. Seek for medical (neurological) rehabilitation, there are many ways to make the most and best out of the situation. When my DH came to the ER he was in a coma, the bleeding was enormous and the neurosurgeon said that he can't say if he will make it trough the night. He said 5% of those who have the same pattern of injuries will survive.
A few days ago he ate some ice cream and he did it on his own.
Giving up or standing still is no option. It is worth the effort, the time and energy.

And I am so positive that your son will find a partner who loves him for the person he is and the way he is and how has turned out. Him as a person. Who totally don't mind if he had served a full or x month mission, who don't seek for a provider but a partner. Even within the church you'll find that kind of woman. Most likely it's not one of the superficial homecoming queens or Mo Royalty. But is this the kind of wife you would like to see on his side? I don't think so.

I met a guy who also survived a severe TBI. He fought hard to recover. Last year he was able to make a 5 mile run. He finished his studies and became a psychologist. He is married to a wonderful woman he met after his accident and they have a cute daughter, she's 2 years old. His accident happened 6 years ago, his initial outcome was poor.
There is always a way to make the best out of a fatal situation.
You are 'your DS is' the creator of your 'his' own future. You can't change the past, you can't make it undone. But you can decide if you still live in the past, if you are still looking back and stuck in this negative emotions and feelings and feed them. I learned that I need all my power to live our new live, to master the new challenges and that I don't want to waste my energy on things and situations I cannot change anymore. I don't have have this resources now.

Maybe it will give you a feeling of triumph when you sue the church, maybe you will find your peace but I am sure that you and your son need all energy to recover in the first place and that it is good to make your new life priority now. Yes go out and make your story public but don't let hate be your fuel. Show everyone that you are living your life and make the best of it although this corporation treated (treats) you like sh*t. The way ahead is maybe not easy but I am confident that it is worth it to be walked.

Maybe... Nothing happens without a reason but it is up to what we make from it.
All the best for your son, your family and you.

I feel great anger that one so young was treated so poorly. This is indicative of "Cult behavior" and should be actionable in law.
This type of treatment is not uncommon among radicals in leadership positions.
My sympathies and I hope that he will fully recover.

Let me reiterate what all the posters have said.... get a lawyer

talk to the media... get as much attention as you can. The church

hates negative attention. I'm sure there will be plenty of people

who can relate to what has happened to your son becauses they

have similar stories that they chocked down and never made a

fuss over. This is your son, and he was damaged by the mormon

church... they need to pay , not pray. Please let us know how it

goes. You will be in our hearts .

Do we have an update? This was posted over a year ago.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/29/2018 08:15PM by SusieQ#1.

Good eye SuziQ#!... I didn't even notice that.
Did she post it again or something?