I left the Church in January of this year, after spending the last year (I was active for ten years) constantly arguing with one family in my branch and finding out the Church is not true. It was a sad ending...see previous post for the full story;

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1924917,1924917#msg-1924917

I decided this week to clear out all of my Church books/dvds from my flat and hand them into local ward. Also, I still hold my temple recommend and a key to the ward I left (and the asshole new Branch President is constantly emailing asking for it back, I keep it just to annoy him haha). I decided to hand them back to the Stake President, and move on with life. I wanted to write a letter to him aswell, explaining why I have left and what this new branch president and his family are like. If anything it'll cause some upset and anger, which I enjoy doing! Take a look below at the body of the letter, names and wards have been deleted for privacy however. Really need to read the above post first to understand most of letter.

Please find enclosed my key to <branch> Chapel, and my Temple Recommend. I feel based on my self-imposed exile from Church and non-compliance with the ‘commandments’, I am no longer ‘worthy’ to hold it.

I have not had a chance to speak with you since I was released from my calling in <location> Branch, however I did speak with President <2nd counsellor>, and I am sure he relayed my comments to you. I will state, for the record, my feelings have not changed. The last year or so in the Branch was just plain awful. President <Branch President>, who I have an enormous amount of respect and love for, really tried. And I stayed out of loyalty to him, when I really wanted to ‘pack my bags and go’. Stake leaders may not see him as the ideal Branch President, because he’s not a ‘yes man’ and doesn’t go by the book, but he gets results and really knows how to make people feel welcome, reaching out to them. That’s what counts!! That’s how you find, teach and keep members.

The <asshole family> have caused endless amounts of damage since coming back, I don’t think you understand the scope of just how bad it is or how many no longer attend – you can add my name to that list. Calling him (well really, <adult daughter who is full of her own sh*t>, his balls rest in her purse), as Branch President is a huge mistake, I have no problem telling you that. They will kiss up to you because they believe that you are ‘important’. Every member is equal, nobody is better than anybody else. They just don’t get that. I believe that you have not seen the side of them we all know, the bullying, tantrum throwing, stuck in another century, better than you, holier than thou, social climbing, attention seeking morons that they are. And calling them to such a position that they are now in will only make that grow, and the Branch dwindle. As soon as the <former Branch President and family> decide to up sticks and attend <another ward>, kiss goodbye to everyone else in <branch>.

Missionary work and retention in <location> is now like stacking chairs on the titanic - pointless. There was a meeting where we discussed such matters, including a family with grown up kids who also had their own kids, ranging from young babies up to teenagers. What a blessing this family would have been to the Branch!! However at a social activity we held, they caused a few spills and crumbs, no big deal we tidied up. Of course, the <asshole family> were angry at them and caused a scene, they never came back. <New Branch President of asshole family> explained at the meeting “We don’t want people like that in the Church”. Who is he to say who can and can’t come? If that is his attitude, how can anyone comfortably investigate in <branch>?

It is more than that however, I feel members look down and talk badly of me now for a number of things – because I go clubbing, because I attend wrestling events on the ‘sabbath’, because I support Donald Trump (Hey, Utah voted for him!! Are you telling me all Mormons who voted are bad people?), for voting Conservative. The list goes on. I’m 29 years old, a qualified accountant in a good job, my own flat and car. I don’t need people telling me what I can and can’t do, or ‘judging’ me because of what I decide to do. If you can get that message across to your members, you might have more success. I know of many others who are fed up too.

I have no bad feelings toward a lot of members however, there are many good people who I do respect, and I praise them for their attitudes. However, I am staying away and enjoying life away from Church, based on what I described above and issues with doctrine aswell, which I won’t go into just now.

I hope this letter finds you well, and you take into account what I have said. I am confident that if you speak with other <Branch> members, they will tell you of similar feelings. Feel free to say Hi if you see me, I am not going to blank you.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/05/2017 07:49AM by thegame2017.

It was well written and thoughtful.

Honestly, I believe you don't owe any explanation, though understand why you would if you feel the need to let him know why you left.

You don't need to justify it. See how, or if, he responds. That will be telling as to how well he received your message.

Congratulations on following your conscience.

I tend to think it's nice to return door keys and lesson books.

Congratulations on finding freedom. Well done!

Just tell them that, you found out the church is not true. You don't even owe them that.

Let them continue to stew with the <asshole> family. Don't give them the excuse that you were offended; make it clear you're leaving because the church is a scam.

I could try selling the temple recommend on eBay...

You included a location in your letter. You didn't edit everything out.

Just letting you know in case you wanted to clean up all references to places.

Handed in the letter last night, was a bit of an awkward journey to do so though...

A female friend and I went to Stake centre to hand it in, but front was locked. We tried the back, which had gates open, its a big building so drove around only to be confronted by the HPGL who also mows the grass. He looked at me and my friend, he knows I'm not attending, think he thought we were looking for a place to 'get down to it' or may have thought she was an escort.

We drove to the other building in town, which I knew would be open (the Stake President, who the letter is addressed too, goes to the Stake Centre ward so wanted to hand it in there), as there is youth or mutual or whatever its called on Tuesdays. Could see there were a lot of leaders in foyer, including the Bishop of that ward who is a real dick and looks down on everyone not in his family, along with counsellor on stake presidency who I actually like, hes quite normal and good for a laugh.

After some thinking and gearing myself up, my friend convinced me to go in, so I did. Shook hands as you do then handed the letter to guy in Presidency. The whole time, ward bishop was giving me a very dirty look. Could tell he didn't want me in there among 'his people'. Had small talk from them asking why I'm not going and why can't I give letter to SP myself (he jokingly said I should put letter in an easter egg and give it over this weekend).

After small talk about other things, I said my friend was in car and needed to go...counsellor guy said good to see you and if I wanna talk to give him a call, which I appreciated.

Be interesting now to see what comes of the letter, I think ward bishop would have been dying to open it. I said its just my key and nothing else, but think they all knew it had more in the envelope.

Sat in car for about ten minutes after, was a bit emotional...closed the door on ten years of my life by doing that, but it had to be done. Friend could see I was a bit upset but very supportive. A few people I knew from church walked by the car and saw me, but didn't come over. Just shows you eh.

And now we wait...

Those two buildings you just talked about bring back a lot of memories for me.

Good for you for taking the step to try and close that chapter in your life. Well done.

Haha bet they do...you have me on your facebook, feel free to talk more on there about the good and bad times. I think you'll know who I am...

Yes, I figured out who this random bloke was who was friend requesting me. Ha ha ha

Good job. We did something similar. I drove to the local ward and slipped our exit letter which included our 2 children in the bishops office while their early morning meeting was going on. I then drove to the stake center and did the same. I did not meet anyone, but it was still an emotional experience. Hard to walk away from 20+ years of one's life.

Haha woops!! Thanks, changed now. Honestly I'm not bothered if this gets around though. I think people have realised I've left.

I got my Patriarchal Blessing in that town. ;-)

Congrats!

We are talking about jutopolis, aren't we? If so, bish is my cousin. Not sure who you are (don't think we would have ever met) and I still cannot put a face to young Mr Steers (is ages with one of my younger siblings), but good luck deprogramming, thegame2017 - it takes time but it is possible.

Loved the tv show your moniker references and hope they do another one. Kinda hard to relate to everyone calling brian cox 'daddy', though, wasn't it?

No I am in scotland.

thegame2017 Wrote:
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> No I am in scotland.

Jutopolis - the city of Jute?

You DO live in the city of Jute.

At least that's how I understood the cryptic city name

Haha got you now, yup the city of 3 J's!

Conservative ? What is it you are conserving ?

Haha conservative as in the UK conservative political party.