How many of you left Mormonism and became Christians or Atheists?

Was it more painful leaving Mormonism or more painful coming to the realization that this life is all that there is?

I realized I was an atheist.
Which was one of the reasons I left mormonism.

The only "pain" was mainly that people I'd grown up with, loved, and respected had lied to me repeatedly for a very long time. And that some of them would "shun" me for many years simply for realizing that they'd lied to me. But I got over it.

There was no "pain" involved in tossing the unsubstantiated myth of some kind of "afterlife." In fact, doing so makes life better. Hallelujah :)

Sounds like you didn't go through the typical stages of grief or maybe you were never "all in".

RebelJamesDean Wrote:
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> Sounds like you didn't go through the typical
> stages of grief or maybe you were never "all in".

I was "all in" enough to do stupid things my leaders told me to do, to do a 2-year mission, etc.

As for "stages of grief..."

Yeah, well, not everybody fits some script. :)

On a serious note, what led you to atheism and how have you avoided going through the stages of grief. Your insight could help a lot of troubled souls.

RebelJamesDean Wrote:
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> On a serious note, what led you to atheism and how
> have you avoided going through the stages of
> grief. Your insight could help a lot of troubled
> souls.

Having found out the mormon church was a con job (by reading the JoD, and serving a mission), I determined to find out if there was a god. So I approached the question of "is there a god?" as objectively as possible, using two approaches:
1) pray to it and ask it to let me know it existed
2) examine claims about it, and see if any evidence showed them correct

I got nothing from #1. Nada, zero, zip. I know many believers will say something like "you weren't humble enough" or "you weren't open enough" or something of the sort...to which I'd reply that they haven't got a clue how desperately I wanted to know if there was one, and how humbly I approached praying to one.

I got nothing from #2. No evidence of any kind of any god. And what was *claimed* to be evidence -- even from some supposed "great thinkers," was largely a pile of arguments from ignorance and incredulity, mixed in with a fair dose of fear and a whole heap of wishing.

So I concluded that there was no reason to think any claims about "god" things had any validity, and no reason to believe any of them. Of course, if anyone could ever show some evidence of a "god" thing, I'd be happy to reconsider the issue. After all, who wouldn't want some magical, all-powerful being to love you and care for you and occasionally modify the operation of the universe in your favor? There's just no evidence that any such thing actually exists.

As for the "stages" of grief...while those "stages" are a sometimes useful generality, they're certainly not any kind of hard & fast rule. I didn't know anything about them when I was going through all of this, so I didn't have some pre-conceived "pattern" to follow. Having realized I didn't believe in god-things, I set out to figure out my life, what I should consider valid, what I shouldn't. I began meeting wonderful people with all kinds of ideas, who genuinely cared about me -- unlike the patently fake "caring" in the mormon church. Perhaps those people helped me avoid "stages of grief" -- life got a lot better real fast, and I just got with the program, enjoying it and learning and living. The mormon family that "shunned" me -- I didn't care. They were dour and grumpy and petty, I was learning about a universe filled with wonder and beauty, I was learning how to think, and I was surrounded by intelligent, caring people (I was at university) who wanted to share my journey. I didn't really feel any "grief" of any stages.

Hope that helps :) Thanks for asking!

Naturally, for YOU, life is better if there is no judgment.


ificouldhietokolob Wrote:
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> I realized I was an atheist.
> Which was one of the reasons I left mormonism.
>
> The only "pain" was mainly that people I'd grown
> up with, loved, and respected had lied to me
> repeatedly for a very long time. And that some of
> them would "shun" me for many years simply for
> realizing that they'd lied to me. But I got over
> it.
>
> There was no "pain" involved in tossing the
> unsubstantiated myth of some kind of "afterlife."
> In fact, doing so makes life better. Hallelujah
> :)

ofcourse Wrote:
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> Naturally, for YOU, life is better if there is no
> judgment.

Pretty offensive (and ignorant) response.

I'm perfectly willing to be "judged" for any/all of my actions, and take any "justice" meted out.

Unlike christians, I don't believe somebody else will take (or has already) any "justice" for my actions, so that I can be an ass and get off without any consequences at any "judgment." I take responsibility for all of my actions, I don't dump them onto somebody else to take the blame.

Of course, there's no evidence there'll be any "judgment." But if there turns out to be one, I'll stand there and take responsibility, I won't point to magic jesus and whine, "...but he got punished for all the nasty things I did!"

Before converting to Mormonism I was an agnostic.

Since leaving Mormonism I have returned to being an agnostic.

Who says the Prodigal Son myth isn't true?? :)

I really don't get this grief and pain thing. Respect to those who went through it, if any. But for me, realizing the Mormon church was false was the biggest relief of my life and one of the most joyous experiences I have ever felt. I was walking on sunshine. And yes, I was all in. I was sickenly TBM up to the last minute. BIC, Seminary, Mission, BYU.

One day I just realized that I had absolutely no reason to believe in some god. No evidence. All based on hearsay. Nothing led me to this conclusion. It was more like getting a great idea in the shower. It just pops into your head. It's like a lot of bits of information collected here and there subliminally suddenly collide and form a new whole.

I was just like, "Atheist. Wow. Hmmmnn. Didn't see that coming." It wasn't an earthshaking revelation. Again--no grief involved. Why would you grieve something that was never there? Would have been nice if my parents had told me that at the same time they told me there was no Santa Claus.

When the realization came out of the blue, I felt free. I felt like life had more meaning. I knew any good I did from then on out was just because I wanted to. I suddenly understood the meaning of the lyric, " . . . and no religion too." I felt like part of humanity. The competition was over and there was nothing left but honesty.

Done and Done: Losing your belief in Mormonism is one thing. Losing your belief in an afterlife is another. Were you joyous when you discovered that?

I guess I was responding more to the atheist part. As far as an after life goes, who knows? Matter is matter.

A long time ago, I read a book by Deepak Chopra about what happens next--afterlife. Only made it half way. His idea scared me worse than the Mormons and made me hope there wasn't one.

I don't think about if there is an afterlife of not. Certainly am not upset about it or grieve over it. I have a real life to live right now and that is all that is on my mind.

Live our best life and let the chips fall where they may.

You ever get that feeling of elation when you finish that effin puzzle?


Learning that Mormonism is false is like finishing a puzzle you wish you had never started.


Sure there's a feeling of loss and aimlessness when you finish it but it's not like you're in mourning.

RebelJamesDean Wrote:
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> Was it more painful leaving Mormonism or more
> painful coming to the realization that this life
> is all that there is?

You have made the mistaken assumption that atheism (lack of belief in a god or gods) is somehow connected to a lack of belief in an afterlife. Although that is sometimes true of the beliefs of individuals, those two "lacks of belief" are not logically connected.

Richard - you are absolutely correct. I should have been more precise. I should have asked, "For those who have left Mormonism and have also concluded there is no afterlife, which loss of belief was more painful and why" ?

Any "pain" came from the Mormon abuse my children and I suffered. I also felt guilt for raising my innocent kids in a cult.

Leaving the cult was a good decision for us. When we stopped attending, I still partially believed in Mormonism, but my children did not, and they had good arguments. I studied, and came on RFM. I even took a few days off of work, and didn't sleep or eat--just read about all the Mormon lies. I guess that stage was painful. I was stunned that my own parents, relatives, and "friends" would lie to me. I was consumed with anger!

But nothing--nothing was ever as "painful" as living as a member of that evil cult! Like drugs--the worst day cult-free is still better than the best day at church.

When we went inactive, the Mormons harassed, bullied, maligned, and threatened us. After we officially resigned by letter, the Mormons shunned us. They tried very hard to cause us pain.

But--the joy of finding out those abusers had no authority from God, that my children and I were not going to be sent to Hell or Outer Darkness or the Telestial Kingdom, or whatever, that Polygamy was NOT God's way--and all the other garbage was FALSE--my happiness made the Mormon hatred towards me worth it! If that was the worst they could dish out, it was nothing!

So--leaving Mormonism--even with the Mormon shunning and hatred--was a positive, joyful, freeing experience! It brought me and my children closer. It cured my "Sunday depression." I had my self-esteem and autonomy back! Yeah!

I suspected that Christianity was made-up myths, also, but decided to hold onto my belief in God and Christ, until I had adjusted to leaving Mormonism.

Beginning to believe that Christianity is false, and that there is no afterlife is a mixed bag. It is painful. It is also part of my quest for Truth. We all have to face death, so having no after-life is sort of a natural progression. We came from the earth (and all star-stuff) and we return to the earth. Life has far greater value and meaning to me now. The Mormons had taken that away from me, by making me obey and EARN a place in heaven.

Not having an afterlife sets us free to live this life. Most of us would never do anything mean or self-destructive, anyway, even if there were no "commandments." Love is natural.

Frankly, I was dreading the Celestial Kingdom! My children and I were forever sealed (no matter how hard we tried to end that) to my first wife-beater temple husband--a creep that my children (born to my 2nd husband several years later) had never met! Living with a polygamous wife-beater forever--that would be Hell for an afterlife. So glad there isn't one.

The bottom line is, that knowing the Truth is a good thing! The process of learning (the hard way) the truth might be painful, but once you know, you realize there are a lot of new Truths to discover, and you never stop seeking. That's living!

Went from Mormon to Agnostic. Back to Mormonism. Then to Christianity. From there I made a transition to Messianic Judaism for several years, before leaving that for Judaism.

Currently unsure where my loyalties lie, other than I'm not regressing back to Moism, and as a believer I know can never be an Atheist or Agnostic again.

My faith is stronger than my doubts about life after life, and believe our lives are a result of Intelligent Design over random chance. While our life experiences may be random, there is some purpose to our being here - even if we don't understand the big picture.

I also contemplate the possibility of reincarnation. Out of the religions I've identified with thus far, the only one that really embraces the concept of reincarnation is found in Judaism. It's the deepest of any religions I've been involved with. Not that I'm especially fond of the idea of reincarnation. It may be something we have no control over.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/23/2017 10:46PM by Amyjo.

Kolob and Breeze - thank you for your thoughtful responses.

I had to way everything... like starting all over from scratch. I found it took way more faith to be one versus the other. This pretty much sums up why.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChWiZ3iXWwM

Life is a bitch once the critical-thinking gene kicks in.

I jumped straight to Atheism and then meandered my way to agnostic.

To me, giving up mormonism meant also throwing out any christianity I had in me. I learned about Christ through mormonism, therefore without mormonism Jesus also means nothing to me, other then in a literary fashion.
Thoise losses have always gone together to me, I suppose. Im very distrustful of anyone who says I should worship Jesus



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/24/2017 02:07AM by nonsequiter.

nonsequiter Wrote:
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> I jumped straight to Atheism and then meandered my
> way to agnostic.
>
> To me, giving up mormonism meant also throwing out
> any christianity I had in me. I learned about
> Christ through mormonism, therefore without
> mormonism Jesus also means nothing to me, other
> then in a literary fashion.
> Thoise losses have always gone together to me, I
> suppose. Im very distrustful of anyone who says I
> should worship Jesus


When I put all the pieces together, about Mormonism, I also throw out my entire belief system. I learned its okay to say 'I don't know' which changed quickly to 'I don't know, but it know what isn't'

At the time I was in an phase of listening to Alex Jones and he had a guest Fritz Springmeier, he was talking about his book 'Be Wise As Serpents' I downloaded a pdf of the book and started reading. The book showed links between One World Governments, One World Religion, Masonic Rituals, Witchcraft, Cults and Religion, mind control. Of course Mormonism was discussed and along with JW, SDA, Moonies.

I read quite a bit of the book, but got busy and never did finish reading it, with that said, I highly recommend the book.


To answer the question - Mormonism to Agnostic with Atheist leaning.

I guess I went from Mormon to agnostic to atheist. Thankfully I never got too deep into the cult; BIC and started drifting away in my teens, so I never encountered the temple BS. Graduated from BYU but never did a mission or marriage, thank goodness.

I agree with those who have expressed tremendous relief upon leaving; the only pain came from having to disappoint my parents. Actually all the perfectionism and judgment in Mormon culture literally made me want to kill myself, so atheism saved my life. I had a few panic attacks over the likely permanence of death and the lack of an afterlife, but then I began to wonder why anyone would want to live forever in the first place; the whole Christian goal of "Eternal Life" sounds more like hell to me. My only lingering concern is for the inevitable death of loved ones and the high probability that I'll never see them again. But that's just a part of life that we all must suffer through. I just hope I can be strong enough to weather it intact.

I think I went from Mormon to nothing, no more magical things or magical places.

so you are no longer theistic ?

Pretty sure but I was told I wasn't completely atheist either.

I was a devout Mormon and I was absolutely thrilled when I figured out it was all a lie (including religion in general). Things finally made sense.

The one book that changed everything for me was "Age of Reason" by Thomas Paine. A light bulb went off and there was no turning back.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/24/2017 08:08AM by Atari.

What exactly is wrong with this life being "all there is"? Sure beats spending eternity in Mormon meetings. And dumping Mormonism means you don't have to waste this life in Mormon meetings either.

Fairy tales no longer worked for me. I don't see that as a problem. I imagine the Hindu fairy tales don't work for you. Does that in any way, shape, or form upset you? It certainly doesn't bother me in the least. Truth be told, Hindu gods, with all their arms, generally look cooler than our "grumpy old white guy in a nightshirt" god.

The only reason you give any credence to the Christian fairy tales is accident of where and into what family you happened to be born. There is no evidence other than acculturation that your particular fairy tale is "true".

Which seems to be common for the kinds of circles I run in and several exmos I know still identify with some path of paganism. I was pagan when I needed to be and it helped me work through some issues surrounding Mormonism and misogyny and getting in touch with the "divine feminine" but after some time it just didn't stand up to scrutiny, especially after I nearly died 13 years ago.

When I finally realized I was an atheist 7 years ago, that was a difficult change I needed to learn to accept, but I eventually did, and I really don't see any evidence of gods or goddesses running the universe. I know other pagans that have some interesting explanations of what "gods" may be but over I see no proof that any god exists.

You have to find the path that works for you, but most importantly, try to be a kind and compassionate person. The best people I know, it doesn't matter their religion, they are kind, compassionate, and open to what the facts say.

"Was it more painful leaving Mormonism or more painful coming to the realization that this life is all that there is?"

I think there's a problem with your question. It presupposes that either was painful. Neither was for me.

Think of it this way. If a person is in an abusive relationship and one day they realize that they can leave, is that painful? It might be difficult sure, but it can be a relief. That's what it was for me. Leaving the church was saying no to an organization that took advantage of me and my family for my entire life up to that point... that was empowering, not painful. There was no need to go through any of the stages of grief.

Then after I left the only church I knew I looked at what was left of my belief system and realized that there wasn't anything there. Magic, all-powerful creators didn't make sense with what I had already learned about the science behind the creation of the universe and the evolution of life. That left the question of life after death, which also simply didn't make sense. So, I let it go. The only teaching I had ever had about life after death were basically christian, meaning that it was either the Mormon view of eternal progression, the generic view of eternally worshiping a creator that was basically a bully, or eternal torment... None of that was worth "grieving" over when I realized that it didn't make sense.

Another way of looking at it is that to maintain a belief in the afterlife, I had to ignore a lifetime of learning and education about how the universe observably works... There's a lot of cognitive dissonance there. It can be painful to try to make it all work and letting go of that meant letting go of pain.

So, it was a huge weight off my shoulders, I became happier... I actually stopped worrying about death. (don't get me wrong, I don't want to die, but I stopped making it a major focus of my life). So, letting go of both of these things wasn't painful, it was a relief.

This is the first week that I have ever posted on this Board.

Everyone has been incredibly interesting and civil. Thx to all of you for your comments.

Welcome, BTW.

We have a good time here.
Thick skin required.
Education guaranteed.

Thx Dagne: Hopefully people will keep enjoying my posts.

Welcome then, RebelJamesDean. I like your topics so far! Hopefully you'll enjoy your time here.

Thank you Billion.