I have been divorced for a few years and I have been dating a catholic woman who I really like in many ways. We get along And respect as adults. Her being an active catholic is the only thing that bugs me. Should I get more serious or not? Isn't Catholicism the less problematic religion? By the way I haven't been to any Church for years and I will never go back to the LDS church.

"Less problematic" depends on your point of view.

A "faithful" Catholic will refuse to use birth control, for example. Is that a problem for you?

Oh no they won't.

Most North American Catholics use "artificial" birth control (meaning the pill, IUDs, etc.) -- I think the figure is 95%. Very few first world Catholics take that directive seriously. They even joke about it.

I married an inactive Catholic. Best thing I ever did. Good luck.

It depends. Many Catholics pick and choose and many,if not most,use birth control.You need to discuss issues such as whether she expects you to convert or attend, how you will raise your kids etc.

Lapsed Catholic woman here. I encourage you to have open conversations with your sweetie about her faith and expectations for you and the relationship. I can only speak from my own experience, but most Catholics I know are open-minded, ecumenical, easy-going people. Most are indeed cafeteria Catholics who pick and choose which church "rules" they choose to follow, especially on the point of birth control. Even the older set, like my pre-Vatican II mother, have reasoned objections to many points of church doctrine, like its stance on homosexuality. YMMV of course.

If things get serious with your sweetie, you do not have to convert in order to marry in the church (that is, have a sacramental marriage). My atheist husband did not convert. However you would need to have your previous marriage annulled to do so. The process takes about 18 months and it's not guaranteed to come out in your favor. In my experience, having been through it, the church does its best to make the process a respectful one. Also, as a mixed-faith couple, the church urges you to go through a counseling process. We found it very helpful and not at all religiously focused. In a sacramental marriage the church does ask couples to be open to children and raise those kids in the church. But again, cafeteria Catholics do what works for their families.

Wish you the best. Though I'm no longer a believer there are many good people in the church.

Thank you so much for your advice everyone. As some of you have mention it; having kid is not an issue, option or in plans. Neither one of us want to... right now.

You may not want kids now, but if you do have them at some point in the future, whether they are baptized or attend mass could become a big issue. Better discuss it before marriage and before you have a child. It could be a deal breaker.

I was raised Catholic. Most Catholics are rather laid back about their faith and take a cafeteria approach. The church tends to foster a "we're all sinners and in this together" attitude, so you will rarely find a rabid, rules-bound member (although they do exist.) Catholics tend to be an accepting, fun-loving lot. They like to drink and have a good time.

You will want to have conversations with your partner about what she would expect of you. But if she is okay with going off to church on Sunday on her own, I wouldn't sweat it.

"Catholics tend to be an accepting, fun-loving lot. They like to drink and have a good time."

Oh, yeah! I was raised Catholic, as well. Two of my uncles are priests, and they can put away beers with the best of them. And the stories they tell could make a sailor blush. ;)

I had a great conversation with the priest, an older gentleman, who presided over my niece's wedding. He travels a lot on church business, and he is famous for traveling with a supply of his favorite olives for when he orders his usual vodka on the rocks.

Catholics generally believe that they are born into original sin and once they get tinkled on they are sealed for heaven. Then they spend their life doing whatever they want and before they die they call a priest over and forgives them of their sins, and they go on to live in Heaven.

Some protestants take life more seriously. Depending on the branch, many actually believe that how they live their lives makes a difference. Mormons, J-dubs, Methodists, UHOP, AME baptists for instance believe in keeping rules etc. I'll go as far as saying that a protestant might be a little more enlightened than your run-of-the-mill catholic.

What you see is what you get...

Depends on the person. Plenty of Catholics believe what they do counts. Besides, some Protestants who believe they have been saved and cant be unsaved are pretty damned arrogant about it. I think you are stereotyping.

It is not at all true that Catholics do what they want during their lives, call a priest over near death, get absolved, and they're good to go. You obviously don't know any Catholics. Catholicism is all about crushing guilt. It's no accident Garrision Keiller named his fictitious Catholic church, "Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility." That's perfect satire.

I've rarely seen a post that is so ignorant about religion...

Oh wait, its poopstone.

Unless they are wearing clothes that automatically reveal their religious affiliation, I can really tell what kind of religion a person is just by seeing them. Unless of course I'm in Utah and I casually hear someone talk about bearing their testimony in church last Sunday or something like that...

The point is, assumptions about how people treat their religion are unfounded and ignorant. I know Catholics who are rabidly rule abiding, and most Protestants I know I only know are Protestants because I asked what religion they are. They don't ever go to church, unless maybe for Christmas or Easter.

I dated a Catholic lady for over a year. I would probably be married to her now if it wasn't for the distance. She had no problem with premarital sex, bisexuality, and using birth control but then she was not RC but Irish Catholic. Many differences such as the ones I just described.

Question.

Does she want a marriage in the Catholic church? If so, you being divorced will be a problem unless you get an annulment.

It's a conversation you need to talk with her about...

Catholics would consider a marriage between two Mormons a non-Christian marriage. I'm not sure it would be considered valid and the annulment process might go pretty quickly if an annulment is needed at all. Ask the priest.

Justin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Catholics would consider a marriage between two
> Mormons a non-Christian marriage. I'm not sure it
> would be considered valid and the annulment
> process might go pretty quickly if an annulment is
> needed at all. Ask the priest.


A Mormon marriage would still be considered a natural marriage.

Born & raised Catholic... making plans to get married.
I was told by a priest that if I married a divorced man
(Protestant) I would not be allowed to receive any of
the sacraments, like communion, unless he annulled
his previous marriage. I also could not be buried in a
Catholic cemetery, which struck me as funny, all the
crooks and criminals like Gotti and Gacy who were
buried in Catholic cemeteries. I'm worse than they
were, maybe becuse they supposedly repented of
their sins and I refused to do that. I'm gonna fry
in hell and they're in heaven.
Go figure..

I was told that I would be exed. I replied: "Go for
it, I don't care."
I don't know if I ever was or not. I picked my
hubsie over the church.

Thirty years later. I would do it again in a
New York minute!

I've known several couples who did not have a problem with one of them being Catholic, but I can see how this could cause trouble in some cases.

There isn't much we can do. You need to talk to her and see if you can work it out.

I'm marrying a Catholic later this year. As others have said, most (seem to me) are laid back and don't have the kind of strict observance of "rules" as others like LDS. In fact I'm converting...not because I believe any of it, but I do like the symbolism and other things about it. And she's not going to expect me to be a strict observer.

It's happening in Mexico. Does it matter that I've been married before? Or that I won't be taking hours and hours of classes? Nope. As she told me, "This is Mexico" lol.

Billy Joel say about Catholic Girls?