I'm twenty and I live in a sparsely populated area on a farm a little ways away from the nearest town (which isn't much of a town, tbh. There are a few shops and convenience stations, but not much else). It's kind of boring, but that's a story for another day.

My crush (who's nineteen) lives a couple of farms down from me with his aunt and uncle. We've been friends since we were kids. He's a really, REALLY nice guy (and very good-looking, too!) Probably the sweetest person I know. Every once in a while, I see him around town and we hang out at the store and talk about mechanics and whatever. One time, I went over to his house on a hot day for a nice glass of milk and some chow.

Anyway, I'd love to hang out more and maybe do some hiking or go on a trip into the big city, but his aunt and uncle (especially his uncle) are super protective of him. They always keep him busy with chores and rarely let him travel around or hang out with friends. I invited him over for dinner one time and his uncle wouldn't let him go. It's been like this for a long time. I remember back when we were kids and his uncle wouldn't even let him leave the house most days.

What should I do? Any advice?

Sounds like they've got him as an indentured servant. The guy's 19--he should be able to quietly say "I'm going out for a while."

Is this a TBM/non-TBM thing?

Meet him in the barn at midnight one time and I promise he will make room on his schedule quite often.....or you will find out he has other interests. Either way good information or experiences await...

Gatorman
Currently in a tense first round game



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/16/2017 05:02PM by gatorman.

Your friend is an adult. He can go hang out any damn time he wants to. He doesn't need to ask for permission from his aunt and uncle...unless he wants to borrow their car.

Sounds like he needs to develop a little independence and backbone when it comes to standing up for himself.

^^^ What P.O.T. Pudding said! ^^^

The next time you see him, I would ask him what his plans are for the future. Ask him to share his hopes and dreams. See what he says.

It's a truism that you can not control other people -- you can only control yourself and your actions. Make plans for your own life that include having your independence and the ability to support yourself at a job that pays well. This may very likely involve making a move in order to expand your world.

When an adult refuses to live that way, it's "they" who must demand to be treated like an adult or be ready to move out on their own.

Was the milk blue?
Is his is name Luke?

But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!

HAHA! was OP meant to be a Star Wars in joke?

Our American custom of dating, without any engagement, is a form of love-corruption typical of the aeon just past- currently people are having a little trouble with such customs but are not sure why!
You've "dated" enough that you can make a decision, "Should we get married, or not?"... If you both agree Yes, then you can go around together and date, people knowing you're planning on marriage; if you both agree you want to become lovers, rather (exclusive decisions) then the best thing to do would be to stay apart from each other socially. You could get together secretly, then-it would be typical of americans to have a weak valuation of the importance of such secrecy- they seem to actually enjoy having "The sh** hit the fan"- as if that were the American Way! Don't overdo the amount of time you spend together...Also, you could make no decision at present but decide to stop being friends openly...

I married each girl I ever got to know. It was the only way to stay virtuous. Dating leads to predictable behaviors that I find too uncomfortable. I suggest you run away. When you find it impossible to forget this boytoy, return to his home with a group of friends willing to tie up the two obstacles, then steal him.

If he's as cute as you say, make sure you aim for a young jury, and you'll be fine.

Wait. It's possible he is their only source of income. Would you really want to jeopardize such a family?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuOJpikr5hQ

Most Mormon boys would be thinking of going on missions at his age. If he is telling you his uncle won't let him, then something is wrong with his set up. Nineteen year olds don't have guardians unless they've been declared incompetent. But 19 year olds may have to borrow a car. And they may have a job (and one on the farm might require taking care of animals morning and night, and very long hours and specific tasks that prevent doing specific things at the time you want.

Find a way to visit him in the fields to find out IF he wants you to pick him up when he's through for the night and do what young adults do in your town.

If you think his relatives are abusing him in some way, then make a report to the hotline that investigates abuse against vulnerable adults.