My father passed away last week, unexpectedly, from a mass heart attack. His funeral was yesterday. It was one of the most beautiful funerals I have ever been to, despite it being a Mormon funeral.

All the talks were so touching, but then the asshole Stake President got up to give "closing remarks". There has been a long past with this guy & his family & me. I grew up in his ward & his wife served as a YW camp director.

One year for girl's camp, we needed to try on pant sizes for pants we were going to decorate at camp. I was 15 years old & barely getting over 100 pounds at 5'5, which was a huge deal for me because I had been suffering from Anorexia & any weight gain was devastating. I tried on an XS for the pants, & this guy's wife, the camp director, stared at me up & down & said, "Are you sure you want an XS? I mean, you're kinda fat." After that, I lost all the weight I had gained back, all the progress I had made was gone, & my self-esteem was destroyed that summer. What kind of adult woman tells a little girl she's fat?? And when she isn't even fat but actually underweight, suffering from an eating disorder?

One time years ago, at a park when I was 17, I was walking around & talking to my friend, when this Stake President's son started throwing bark at me, (he was 13 at the time) & then charged at me, knocking me to the ground. He sat on top of me, not allowing me to get up, & then started stuffing bark down my shirt, practically taking it off. It was an attack out of nowhere & I couldn't understand what possessed that little shit to attack me so violently like that. I called his mother (the one who said I was fat) & told her what her son did to me. Her excuse, "Oh, he just has a crush on you!" I couldn't believe her answer. I will not be surprised if I ever find out this kid date rapes some poor girl or abuses her, because attacking a girl in a park & almost taking off her clothes in the process as he's attacking her & then thinking it was okay because he just had a "crush" on her is surely to mess up any healthy relationships he'll have in the future. Parenting fail.

So that was only the beginning with this family. There was a lot of sexual abuse that happened in my childhood home, & it was never reported, but when I became an adult, I decided I needed to report it. I called the Stake President, who was then the bishop at the time, & told him about my abuse. Long story short with the abuse, my younger brothers molested my youngest sister growing up, & later on in life they were being sent on missions, & I just didn't think it was right for them to go into strangers' homes because of their past & never getting psychological help for what they did.

So I told this guy about the abuse, how my relationship with my parents was destroyed because they never reported the abuse or helped their children get help for the abuse. But instead of the bishop understanding, he told me he was aware of all of that & began blaming me for severing the relationship & telling me everything was my fault. He knew I had left the church years ago, & him being an asshole Mormon of course had to blame the "evil" Exmormon for all of the problems. He was demeaning, accusatory, & yelled at me when I spoke with him. And when I called him out for it, he lost his shit over it & yelled some more.

After everything this family had put me through growing up, I was not happy that man was speaking at my dad's funeral. BUT... it got even worse. As he was speaking about my dad, he starts saying, "Okay, I'm going to do something here, I hope it's okay!"

And then he pauses, looks at my grieving mother, & says, "I stand here as proxy for your husband. I am [my father's name]."

I WAS SHOCKED.

He then went on, saying this to my mother, "I am the man I am because of you. You made me the man I am. Thank you. I love you."

He stood there, above my father's casket, & had the audacity to speak for a dead man, thinking literally that he could stand as proxy for him. I was so upset.

He was like, "Those words are from [my father's name]."

Ahhhhh it gave me the heebie jeebies & it was so disrespectful, especially saying those directly to my mother, who had just lost her husband. THE NERVE!!!

I turned over to my boyfriend & said, "I think I'm going to have to have a drink as proxy for my dad after this!"

Little did any of those Mormons know attending the funeral yesterday, that my father who attended the temple regularly, drank all his life. He admitted it to me over COFFEE years ago. He showed me his stash & everything & we shared a drink or two. I don't blame my dad for keeping his drinking a secret. Having to live around a shit like that Stake President & so many crazies like him would make anyone want to drink.

I really hate how Mormons like that Stake President have to poison everything. It was also just very disrespectful. And kind of psycho too. Who thinks they can actually stand as proxy for a dead man? So fucking weird.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Mormon funerals are just creepy. I'm glad your dad could share his authentic self with you. Abuse is all too common in the cult. It's fruit from a rotten tree. Peace, healing and blessings to you.

It was hard enough to lose your dad.

To have to listen to that tripe at the end of an otherwise beautiful funeral is unnerving. If it bothered you can you imagine how it must have bothered your mother for him to have done that?

What a joke.

So sorry for your loss.

Once again, just when I think I've heard it all (when it comes to mormonism), something on this board will surprise me. This is just reprehensible. The nerve of that guy. I don't know how you didn't get up, walk up to the stand, take the mike and say, "The only person this man is is Satan."

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sounds like you had a great father and a wonderful relationship. I hope your good memories sustain you.

So sorry you had to endure that. Mormons are terrible with boundaries. They just don't get it.

Again, so sorry...

I'm also sorry you suffered abuse from this nasty family who is still trying to dish it out.

We're all sending you warm wishes of kindness and comforting thoughts.

The behavior of the SP is despicable (as well as the behavior over the years of the family).

It all started with Joseph'$myth - starting 'the church' in proxy for Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ

The LDS "church" creates people who think they HAVE THE POWER to do almost anything: speak for other people, baptize others (even without their will - even the DEAD), lie for the lard, etc., etc., etc.

Mormonism RUINS (an otherwise perfectly good) funeral.

Makes you want to stand up and say "___________"! Show them someone cares... I know I wish I had at times. I think some times, during funerals, we are paralyzed.

M@t